Sorry, Knicks fans. It’s harder to be a Laker fan. My latest for @latimes explains why. https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/image/story/2023-08-16/los-angeles-lakers-fans-are-cursed-with-expectations-winning

My latest for @latimes is CONTROVERSIAL, so strap in. Yes, we’re talking about jorts. https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/image/story/2023-08-14/why-jorts-keep-coming-back-in-fashion

Seeing Gran Turismo in 4DX as God intended

Can’t think of better people to normalize being being pansexual than me and Wayne Brady.

Oh my way to the Tango & Cash premiere in Westwood. Hoping to get some face time with Sly.

Read any good indictments lately?

It’s that time again.

In the style of The Rolling Stones: 🎶Under my bum🎶

One major concession the studios need to make to end these strikes is to take the beets out of the McCarthy Salad at the Polo Lounge.

when you’ve got FIRE WALK WITH ME on in the background and “the pink room” hits the soundtrack

It’s almost my birthday, aka the one-year anniversary of the time a woman told me on our third date that I had to pay for a trip to Las Vegas so she could see Usher.

Hey I do this show called Varietopia and this video explains what it is. Come see it in Los Angeles this Sunday at 7pm. https://www.tumblr.com/paulftompkins/722030250727505920/tickets

Reconnecting with my Twitter mutuals.

Movies!

My delivery is here

people who are scared to rebuild their following from scratch on a new social media site wouldnt survive a dayshift at waffle house

You know shit is fully fucked on Twitter because I’m getting Facebook friend requests again.

My newsletter, How (Not) to Be a Man is back with a screed about how much I hate hoodies. And how miserable I was wearing a hoodie to a bar recently. https://daveschilling.substack.com/p/how-not-to-wear-a-hoodie?sd=pf

When things are going great

What a sad day for Twitter to be broken

Checking in on my friends here on Bluesky. What have I missed?

He’s never wrong

Mornings. Used to be a nighttime guy, but I’m old and need sleep.

I guess they will have to find another, more insidious way to cheat going forward.

I don’t get much engagement here, so I don’t post often, but people keep following me. Truly a mystery.

Honk honk motherfucker

Buffalo sauce on wings tastes like puke and people who like it are sick freaks who like to eat puke

Ladies and gentlemen, our long national nighmare is over. I have launched a men's style newsletter. https://daveschilling.substack.com/p/how-to-properly-enjoy-chest-hair

Fox News covering the Trump indictment is like a screening of the Zapruder film at Lee Harvey Oswald’s house.

Just a suggestion! Oh is suggesting illegal now?!? (Yes.)

Social media is just constant emotional whiplash

A second indictment has hit Donald Trump

I think it’s safe to say Donald Trump has the widest, flattest ass of all time. Perfect for kicking.

liv golf rizzed up the pga. is this anything

Niles Crane rizzed up Daphne Moon

Cracking open a cold Robitussin, the official beverage of Pride Month

When the boys want you to roll but you just need to chill for the night.

[infant DM chat] who up getting they bottle ate 😂😂😂

There are 530 anti-trans bills moving, here's a digest of them to grasp the magnitude! Trans care bans for adults are a thing now. Bathroom and drag bans have proceeded. Blue states fight back. Subscribe to support my work. https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/drag-bans-proliferate-care-bans-too

When I try to escape the wheel of samsara and fail again because I desired it

will miss this kind of advertising when we move out of west hollywood

Yo how do I get verified on this shit fr

Should I cross post from Twitter or just post baller ass Austin Powers memes here?

Why’d they make the wife look like a Klingon?

Love this place. Basically empty, like a coffee shop that’s clearly a front for the Russian mob.

What up nerds