im sorry blue check liberals but im not going to feel sorry for someone who went out like this

I will say that I find it weird that a lot of people are like "this is the moment that will tip us into violence" when a Minnesota politician was assassinated in her home 2 months ago and someone literally shot Trump in the head last year. how exactly is charlie kirk the tipping point

it feels like the morning of Christmas Eve

what do you mean elon and palanir are making a subscription based missile service

no sweetie its okay your 401k is in heaven now 🖤

the funniest thing we can do today is withdraw all our money from the bank and dispute every transaction on your credit card from a major corporation

you know the way ppl grab their dogs by the neck and shove them into poop so they know not to do it indoors

hey chat

my first act as god would be to [redacted] and my second would be to make everyone in this blink wear deodorant

its called the switch 2 bc you’re gonna switch 2 a cheaper hobby

in regards to college admissions discourse: go to a party school. economy is about to be destroyed and society is next. enjoy it all while you can

what do you mean me and my friends would have to spend $1180 before tax to play the next from software switch 2 game together

we live in candyland politics bc what do you mean the latest right wing discourse is about snow white. you mean the disney movie. for children.

the 7th love language is reminiscing for what will never return

those who eat the devils corn will choke on his cob

the govt is abducting people and destroying the economy and you’re mad about chappell roan on a podcast

no babe i love your favorite basketball team the goods ones scare me

why is womens deodorant stuff like fresh breeze but mens deodorant is like “sins of our father”

if you work in tech your soul cannot be redeemed im sorry to say

Columbia did everything they could to appease fascists- firing staff, facial tracking protestors, allowing NYPD to assault students, canceling admissions- all to learn that you’ll never appease them. 400 million gone lmao

objectively insane that my coworkers who are too lazy to go downstairs and get a box of napkins make more than teachers

bring back this era of advertising

get her what she wants this valentines

I hope this email kills you

this man next to me on the train did not wear deodorant today I am going to make this ride for him a Living Hell

the best kind of man is a woman

is hot topic allowed to detain you until the police arrive or are they lying to me

dedicating my life to posting esoterically and worshipping the divine to offset the evil in the world

love that every news report is like “insurance claims being denied has lead to countless deaths. we still have yet to learn the motive of the ceo shooter.”

this or nothing btw

the complete irony from fellow leftists is their refusal to acknowledge that its BLACK women, women of color in general. ive seen a thousand posts about “women” and basically nothing about minorities

celebs date an ugly person and everyone starts acting like they’re a make a wish kid

the shared burden of making a tiktok with friends

need somebody to match my freak (walk into oncoming traffic with me)

every day I feel like I'm losing my mind as people look at a statistically tied race where one guy is a felon with deeply unpopular positions who ALREADY LOST THIS EXACT RACE and are like "he is 100% for sure going to win"

the fact that we finally got DMs and i didnt know bc i never update my app is so funny

Steven Seagal? the artist behind Me Want The Punani?

online journalists of bsky, where do yall post your independent pieces? Thinking of posting on medium but wanna know what everyone else does

"Most of the suicidal men that I work with - they genuinely have a life that is no longer worth living" seriously the world keeps getting worse and nothing ever works out lol

okay but why is it so hard to find people to start a band with

My official stance on TikTok being banned

after corn pop I learned to accept that every single one of biden’s insane old man anecdotes actually happened

In light of the photoshop debacle, I’m required to post this classic by Patrick Freyne of The Irish Times:

i lived through Better Call Saul breaking the record for most Emmy nominations without winning a single one, today is NOTHING