Some day I will prove to everyone that you can get a master’s degree in film without watching 2001 a space odyssey

You can only really enjoy a cigarette once you’ve quit

I need you guys to know I started watching ER and I only recognized that one guy from fantastic mr fox and then alan informed me that That’s George Clooney

Just said “is it hard to be married to me?” To my husband so I think that answers itself

Something crazy about listening to Marty Robbins on the subway

Can’t believe my cousin bought me a moma membership and I can just walk in for free

My beautiful wife the r train always taking her time I support her

YOU MUST TAKE YOUR MEDICATIONS TO HAVE STRENGTH TO GRIND YOUR ENEMIES' BONES TO DUST.

Saw one of those sticky bras on the subway stairs… Cinderella…

Potat interpretive dance

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

Might have picked up a better client no one move

Post breakfast rumpus

Getting on this app is hard because all of my friends are funnier than me and it pisses me off like why didn’t I think of that

I wake up and take a shower. The soap is an industry plant. I pad into the kitchen and fill my coffee cup. My Moccamaster is an industry plant. I open up my industry plant Macbook Air and write marketing pieces for industry plants. I go to sleep after taking a Trazodone, which is an industry plant.

“Learning” what kind of things I “like” seems fake

Developing your personal style as an adult is almost as embarrassing as having a crush as an adult

On the subway we all get to be the passenger princess

you were named after the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, Pan de Elote

comrade…. you are napping on my literature

The new bts album did this to me btw

You’d think the good surgeons of NYC would be clamoring for a chance to get their hands on my boobs but I remain on hold

Our own @lindsayfickas.bsky.social is in @mcsweeneys.net today!!! www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-...

It’s crazy how much more motivated I am to go to the gym and eat healthier when my primary motivating factor is having functional joints in my old age rather than just because I want to be thin

I think it's bad for the President to threaten to annihilate an entire culture and i do not think you are being alarmist if you take his threats seriously and literally.

Now is not the time for despair, comrades. Now is the time to organize. Now is the time to be brave. Now is the time to take action.

get snatched back from the precipice, dipshit

Going to sapphic night at the bar if ever there was a good place to be if it happened

Hey when I get replaced by ai this weekend will you guys still think I’m hot or

No high like the high of when you see someone with known good taste recommending something you recommended to them

Doing important work in my notes app

Such is the endlessness, yea, the intolerableness of all earthly effort.

all the people who don't like kings should not like capitalism too for the same reasons

No one contact me tomorrow I’ll be listening to arirang on a loop in bed on the heating pad

What a nightmare week from hell I’m over it.

Looked in the mirror and my bangs are kind of giving this guy

Thinking about the diva who was wearing a shirt that said “pet play” at the moma yesterday

Go go gadget top surgery

There’s something kind of chic about weeping in Central Park

when you definitely have enough guys

I dunno why but the ICE agents sent to “patrol” at JFK are all unmasked and in public areas where press has access and they don’t really seem to know what to do or why they’re there?

Reposting the image with alt text. So EVERYONE can see which of the thirteen airports will have ICE agents on site

I like Merlin because sometimes he just goes to the basement where a dragon is chained up to ask for advice and the dragon is a huge merthur shipper

The Raid. Photo from my collection, no date/info.

I can't emphasize enough that the Tucker Carlson that Hasan is praising is not bow tie smarm era Tucker, or even light MAGA conspiracy theory Tucker. In this era Tucker has specifically and intentionally allied himself with the literal Nazi wing of MAGA. That is his angle.

tomorrow is sad boy try estrogen friday so remember if you're a sad boy you should try estrogen tomorrow on friday