just read "shops preparing to raise costs when the minimum wage is raised" and I think I saw red for a moment not even just because it's literally only being risen by fifty fucking pence but like if you raise prices because of a MINIMUM WAGE change then you're not fucking changing anything at all

The best time to put a bat in your lap... is all the time.

Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, I've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiiiooouuuu

wishing all anonymous Larian arist a very please post somewhere and tell us that this is all bullshit and your engagement with AI is occasionally generating Epic Fantasy Sword Artstation and showing it to your dipshit boss so he'll go back to his office and let you actually work

enter my world of endless whimsy, artifice and riddle for rewards yes Last Architect prizes are things you can buy literally 5 feet away for a couple hundred gold no Last Architect

Me: I'm not interested in The Game Awards Furry Bluesky: There was a scene in a trailer for Larian's new Divinity game where a human lady is straight up raw dogging a lizard man dude cowgirl style while people are getting wicker manned behind her. Me: I am somewhat interested in The Game Awards.

getting really pissed off with the era in which i was born to live in all these amazing feats of technology and advances in human ingenuity that were specifically designed to make one's life easier are now every single one being enshittified by things well beyond my means of control

The DM *has* to be willing to say such as "oh no, a chasm opens up underneath your character and they slowly drown in raw sewage. Roll another one who *is* willing to actually play the fucking game." Or else the whole thing is gonna become an excruciating, hellish ordeal for everyone else.

HAHAHA LOOK WHO'S MAD LMFAO

roses are red big laughs are hearty

👉👈me and my wife noticed your vibes from across the ocean and well we gotta say they're rancid and we hate them please sequester yourself for the good of society immediately

banned from furcon room parties by hanging a sign on the door handle with a silent hill 2 design that says "There was a hole here. It's gone now." when everyone's finished and i lumber back to my bedroom with a lopsided gait like i'm pyramid head

okay we're really sorry we made stupid people like an 85:15 split for our celebrities and important figures that one was on us, god but now the bit's gone on a little too long so if you could do some old testament shit that'd be swell we'll learn our lesson this time maybe

"it's not the governments job to feed people!" kill yourself, respectfully it is a government's job to make sure the people they govern have a decent quality of life actually if you want to rule over a kingdom of ghosts and rubble fuck off to a deserted island and leave the rest of us alone

browsing youtube and oh that's an ad they have for cropped gen AI of the pokemon hex maniac girl being fucked by a rottweiler

ball x pit is a good game because it's named after some of my favourite body parts 👍✨

Here's how we handle manchildren on the Steam forums at No More Robots:

gacha pulls for my new labubu fursona (the current banner has green labubu and the colour swatches are high on the meta rn)

do you think i'm like 60+ years there'll be history enthusiasts who talk about these moments with so much breathless enthusiastic autism that certain WW2 chads do nowadays that prospective dates get kind of weird vibes (and then they end up being neo neo nazis)

"haha we'll call you at 1:30 apropos of nothing!" okay ... bro it's been 40 minutes now if i tried to show up 40 minutes late to something with you lot i'd be bent over a barrel and whipped for my audaciousness i have better shit to do that i won't notice my phone ringing during, fuck's sake

buying the food and supplies I need to survive might be an ever increasing cost that forces me to pick and choose more and more to cut corners to the bare minimum but you see my government has decided to fix things with digital IDs checkmate liberals

ice is one of the biggest causes of death of the infirm by freezing in these last two seasons so I'd be writing that on my bullets too

be the kind of insane throat goat where your head game looks like sea gulls or pelicans just fucking demolishing a huge fish whole literal goals my dudes

putting in my resumé to get a job as the government mandated guy-who-gives-the-thumbs-up-for-everyone-to-continue-with-their-sex it's a hard job but if someone's gotta sit in the cuck chair then i'll do it for a modest, liveable fee

alternate reality be like: Dorian and the Steambroilers

secret lifehack: because all the age verification systems fucking suck for me specifically and won't accept anything I give them I avoid all the hacked accounts accidentally reporting me or someone impersonating me because I CAN'T MESSAGE PEOPLE DIRECTLY checkmate assholes

midnight furniture store: and how do you intend to pay for all these bookshelves champion me pulling out my wallet that's just filled to the brim with spiderwebs: : fuck i don't suppose you take kej i invested in the weaver's stalk market and now i have millions

booted up a wolfenstein game because i was curious about this weird new major patch that got downloaded and now every new game i start has B.J being quietly let go because of the views he's expressed towards mechahitler on social media and his part in routinely dismantling the nazi debate moonbase

Usually when someone dies, the people who considered them a hero will share their greatest quotes and epic moments. It's extremely telling that Charlie Kirk supporters are NOT doing that because they'd have to share, ya know, his quotes. They can't share vids of him either coz he was such a douche.

fellas is it gay to stare deep into the abyss and have it stare back

right wing person experiencing minor inconvenience: in their heads: ah yes the economy needs to go through teething issues before everything gets cheaper i will thus react in an appropriate way what they say: they should reintroduce the death penalty and kill all retail workers i think

God its so disingenuous to pretend that all CK did was “have horrible opinions”. The man co-founded an organization that’s sole function was to fight tooth and nail to indoctrinate children at school into violent white nationalism. He wasn’t even just a pundit. He was ceo of the baby Nazi factory.

are people stupid or am i just a god gamer "buh buh silksong hard :( silksong hard :( hunters march pogoing act 1 boss runback sucks savage beastfly baddddd" ??? practice? improve the skills you're lacking in to triumph? just get over it you babies

Nancy Mace acting on disinformation that the shooter was trans: goes off on tirade against "trannies" Nancy Mace when the actual shooter is a Christian white man: "he's just a poor lost boy, let us pray for him."

guy who's misunderstood the game development assignment: omg it's time to #slaaaaaaay the princess girliepops

Way too many fuckers fall for the polite Nazi shit. Of course he was polite to your face, he wanted you on his show to normalize him. Good job, you gave the Nazi exactly what he wanted.

This. This is something that always bothers me about this discourse. Massive swathes of American politics is explicitly about enacting horrific violence en masse. One is not actually against political violence whatsoever if you carve out an exception for the State.

Shortly after posting my reaction to a white supremacist getting packed up, my Bluesky account was suspended for 24-hours. The reason given as outlined in the email below was "incitement to violence". This may strike you as strange because saying "LMAO" is not incitement. Well, there's more!

text messages i keep getting: your paypal account needs action!!!!!1 the action is a negative balance like.. ok??? fucking stop texting me about it i know what you think i'm going to pull money i don't have out my ass and fix it?

Charlie Kirk spent his life‘s work and all of his energy and time targeting out-groups while arguing for a world in which gun massacres would be easy to enact, plentiful, and inevitable, and he became famous and wealthy doing it, and we’re now not supposed to mention that because it’s not polite.

it's kind of funny that i needed to remember something today but it's just the need to go into town

I understand that as a mainstream politician, you are required to say "I condemn political violence. My thoughts are with his family at this time." That's all you're obligated to say, and way more than they give you when the tables are turned. You DO NOT have to say nice things about evil people.

an app that syncs to my mandated tesla-brand brainchip that gives me an electric shock when i think about elon negatively (100% heart failure rate within 10 minutes of download)

One day the current occupant of the White House will be gone, and every knob-polisher associated with him will write a tell-all book about how evil he is and how they were secretly working to mitigate all of this shit. Don't buy one.

what if they rereleased club penguin but as a gacha

fuck man, all these scams going around are making it impossible for me, someone who goes through the effort of filling out an entire report on someone's account (purely for practice's sake) and then genuinely accidentally reports them to have my voice heard :(

'A NSFW ban won't negatively affect me, I don't draw or post porn!' You sure? Here's how it went down when tumblr did it:

I'm opening some commission, $80 for a full body character Illustration akin to the art below! I do best with fantasy or ttrpg characters, but I'm always open to experiment. If you'd be interested, feel free to DM me on here, or contact me on my discord at jayconian.