Sorry but it's my protected belief worthy of respect in a democratic society. 💅🏻

Time to start the annual purge of emails. Get your data requests in quick. 2,299 and 717 unread. How low can I go?

Just watched my 18 month old cat jump up and pull a door handle and frankly I welcome our new furry overload.

Everyone's being mean but he's fessed up he was a bit of a prat, recognised what they did wrong and is warning others not to make the same mistake. Making stop dunking and just be glad there are people able to make sure he got down alright?

My partner says he doesn't know what I want for Christmas but honestly it is just someone else to maintain my Duolingo streak for one day.

Starting Christmas Day as intended. Browsing the @nationaltrust.org.uk online shop for discounted wool blankets because Doug forgot to add one to his Christmas list.

Hm, 3.5l of soup should be enough for 4 people as a starter, right?

If you’re looking for a last-minute Christmas present, my book Borderlines is a good bet. It’s a blend of history and travel writing: ‘charming and thought-provoking’ - from Fermanagh to Chernivtsi www.waterstones.com/book/borderl...

I love my Mum but there must be a name for the condition where she cannot answer a direct, unambiguous question but instead provides an unhelpful answer to similar but crucially a different question.

Trump is reportedly designing the look of the new ships himself. Anyhow, the Vasa Museum is pretty cool if you’re ever in Stockholm

Submitting my tax return would be easier if it had the correct bloody tax code.

Sigh. Just finished a 2.5 hour laundry cycle to realise I hadn't pushed the detergent drawer closed.

I hate how funny I find this

Just watched Planes, Trains and Automobiles and 1h26 really is the perfect length.

Keeping Up Disappearances

Going to be wild if Israel wins because of a reduction in the number of fans voting. The EBU might regret their decision.

Ordered my partner a few pairs of fancy washing up gloves he likes as a silly present to open on Christmas Day and then he went and suggested that to me as a gift idea. I mean, I appreciate that it turns out we'd ace a quiz on how well I know him but c'mon!

The 'What the Papers Say' section of news programmes should be replaced with What the Papers Botched, where the microscopic 'apologies' and corrections buried away on page 23 are openly discussed with each Editor.

I love that every few months one of these tweets comes up and without fail the people demand the OA.

Little man having a nap on my legs.

"What even is the Manchester traffic these days? Just spent half an hour driving what would’ve been a 18 min walk" is truly a quote for the ages.

I have no regrets.

A thing I learned: If you end up in a musician's top 0.01% listeners on Spotify Wrapped's they put you on a leaderboard. Anyway, only 767 neurodiverse queers ahead of me.

It is great to see the WI making it really clear that they hate being forced to do this.

You are 72 and I claim my fiver

Honda Civic Honda Civic Honda Civic Honda Civic 🤔

Counter-counter-point. Buy a house, wait two years and have Aldi open up behind it.

I see Instagram is having one their periodic attempts to ruin the app via UI updates.

One of things that 'radicalised' me to embrace being gay was having str8 friends at uni act like being gay was layered on top of being str8 rather than being this core fundamental part of my existence I cannot explain. I have no reason to believe the same isn't true for trans people.

Damn. Should've gone with my first guess. 4/6.

"Aren't you tired of feeling insane all the time." Me: yes absolutely I am [Mamdani x Trump and the Rave Pope drop] Me: ...after five more minutes

Five hours in the garden today working through pre-winter jobs. I really enjoy this time of year. For the first time since June you feel like you're beginning to catch up.

Fuck it. Stick a quid on fuel duty.

Well that was easier than normal. Unzoomed #664 1/6 🟢⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️ unzoomed.com

I'm wondering if this is people confusing the opinions of people who work at the BBC and the output of BBC News because I find the concept of the BBC having a pro Trans bias absolutely baffling.

My partner's Dad nearly died from one of these. So yknow, if only to save your favourite son-in-law from a incredibly stressful 3.5 hour drive, do go.

Right, well I have to get up in 6 hours for a flight so I guess I'd better go to sleep.

The Alan Carr outsmarting all those Oxbridge fucks just by being gay and funny. This is my destiny.

You knew this is how it would end after he first voted for Celia. #CelebrityTraitors #Traitors

Petition to replace support acts with fitness instructors that give crowds warm up exercises before energetic gigs. I'm glad I didn't go into the mosh pit.

So the only other time I came to Prague, I was with people who take Ubers everyone and book airport transfers. So yesterday I was excited to use the trolleybus, Metro and tram to get around. How nice is this station?

One thing that's come out of the "protected belief" precedents is that it's incredibly difficult to PNG an individual with intolerant views.

Off to Prague in the morning and just found 980CZK from 8 years ago so let's hope they've not changed their bank notes.

Watched A House of Dynamite and now I feel very relaxed.

Bloody hell, trying to find a reasonable hotel within my employer's travel policy in central London. Maybe I'll just get up at 4am for the train instead.

Possibly a Liverpool only thing but I'd love to watch a documentary with the buying team from Taskers

Nick right now. #TheTraitors

See I thought I was good at identifying N*zi tattoos but apparently every day's a school day.

Retweet to honour the leader of the free world

Seems most of the internal systems that I use are on Azure. Sad times.