Contemporary writers and novels are valued based on capitalism. Classic writers and novels are valued based on their writing.

People who think Democrats are too woke and radical now control all three branches of government, the institutional apparatus of the Democratic Party and all major media outlets. Stop fucking congratulating each other for saying it!

Soon AOC will be president with Zoran as VP, they'll raise taxes on trustfunds over a trillion $ by 1% and most of our problems will be improved, and then all of this, Chump telling boyscouts Santa's not real, Kash snorkeling at Pearl Harbor on public funds will seem like a zany 80's smut comedy.

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

Beef is like the reverse White Lotus. WL is like You know what's a fascinating observation about rich white people? They are superficially liberal but really cynical and fucked up. Yeah, no duh. Beef is like Yeah obviously rich people are fucking weird, but in ethnically specific ways.

"I may have eaten 5 pounds of Taco Bell last night, but someone teleported all this diarrhea into my pants and I want to find the immigrant responsible for it"

Call me old fashioned, but I feel like the news should be about things that happened with quotes from experts, rather than what I see a lot of, which is essentially "Can you believe 40% of the people who responded to this poll believe that birds aren't real?"

I have been saying this for decades.

Remember when Trump said Obama would get into a war with Iran?

Historian of abolition here, history tells us how we got here, to put it succinctly “John Brown was hanged for treason and Robert E. Lee was not.”

sure gas is headed to $8/gallon but at least cornell got rid of their gender studies classes. or at least i think they did, i haven’t checked and if im being honest i wouldnt really know if they had or hadnt because it doesnt affect me but it makes $8/gallon gas all worth it

The "I don't trust the COVID vaccine because they came up with it suspiciously quickly" to "I heard of the Hantavirus 96 hours ago and have determined that Ivermectin cures it" pipeline

In my experience, elementary school age students either get literally unlimited screentime at home or 0 screentime at home and the result of both is they are desperate to get onto a computer the second they walk in the door at school.

The silliest thing that people think is that paying less means the people who want the job will want to do it for the love of the work itself. People need to eat. All you get is you hire people who can afford to walk away from the job.

Every tv show I watched growing up was about bougie scumbags (Seinfeld, Friends) or “lovable” misanthropes (All in the Family, Married with children, House) And here we are.

This was my favorite Roald Dahl story as a wee lad.

👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻 we are so effing stupid in this country.

Saw someone “proving” they’re Gen X by name-checking some old cooking show on Food Network. Excuse me, but there was no Food Network. We were watching Yan Can Cook and Graham Kerr getting shitfaced on cooking sherry on PBS.

This teacher appreciation week, teachers have a request. Ask yourself, really ask yourself, is the gesture you're trying to make actually just creating more work for teachers? If so, for the love of fuck, do something else or better yet nothing at all.

All of a sudden Trump supporters are trying to tell us politics are nuanced and complicated as if Trump didn't run on "The reason gas is so expensive is because everybody's trans nowadays."

He must be the only person in medical history to boast about the number of dementia tests he has been given

Happy May Day Brothers and Sisters

Trying to catch politicians as hypocrites is mostly pointless. When you go forward assuming most wealthy D's don't actually care about minorities and most wealthy R's don't actually care about limited government, *but benefit from pretending to*, your blood pressure goes way down.

Trump: They're eating the dogs Democrats: he shouldn't say that The press: Democrats say Trump shouldn't say Haitian immigrants are eating pets Republicans: The heated rhetoric from the Democrats and the rabidly anti trump press is the problem

It's extremely funny that minutes after a supposed assassination attempt Chump is tweeting "See, this is why we totally need the ballroom that you all have been asking for." Like, it's not hard to see why so many people think everything is a conspiracy.

Every politically tuned in person I know is just kind of tired and cynical about what's going on, and every not-terminally online person I run into is somewhere in the ballpark of 25 to 75% Robespierre in their rhetoric.

Just like Charlie Kirk, rich comfortable white people trip over themselves to beg the country to be a little nicer to this hard-working little guy, but the entire country is like "Oh no, not another totally real assassination attempt...Meh."

Homer Simpsons, Smiling Politely would be a perfect name for a Smashing Pumpkins cover band.

My 11yo is a significantly better mathematician than DJT and RFK.

Interesting how the comments section under every news video went from "Of course the MSM is showing their anti Trump bias yet again" to "Hahaha, Taco Tuesday again!" like overnight.

Why is there no commonly-used term for "in the manner of an aunt", when "auntvuncular" has been right there this whole time.

Doctors Without Borders: a spin off sitcom about Drs. Santos and King getting shitfaced and doing 90's karaoke all night.

Solider Boy: Look at you; just the softest, wettest boy. Brutal!

American meritocracy means the people with inherited wealth get to decide what meritocracy means.

they fucking Legolas and gimli'ed the Anglican church?????

Many people are saying that JD is quite ignorant about the history of religion in Europe and the Middle East but that overlooks his expertise on the ottomans.

this really is a significant blow to the global far right. Hungary under Orban was more than a financier and place to host events: it was a proof of concept

I think it's more judgmental to insist that other people treat your trash as if it's serious than for you to just admit that your trash is trash. My trash is still trash! So is yours!

Trump is like 2 U Mad Bro? comments from starting WW3 and that is terrifying but also hilarious because fuck that guy.

Any teacher appreciation week activity that creates more work for the teacher is...well you hear how fucking ridiculous that sounds, right?

Like, either he is making a lucid and credible threat to kill 90 million ppl, which means he needs to be removed from office or he is saying really unhinged shit bc his mental faculties are no longer there *which means he needs to be removed from office*

Being a US citizen stuck here living under the Trump dictatorship feels like living through the movie Network, except everyone in charge has only seen the first 20 minutes of Network.

Scrolled by this poster and for a sec thought there was a Judas bowling movie.

Current status.

Need more books in which dragons are the main characters, and they do not shift into a human form, and their importance is not determined by their relationship to humans. Pretty please.

The primary purpose of the NY Times is for financially-comfortable white liberal boomers to tell themselves that their Fox-News-brainwashed relatives are still ok to have dinner with.

I’m just saying, Howard Dean’s entire politics career was torpedoed because of that one time he was like “Byaah!”

Monthly reminder: Many people have a book in them, but it takes a special kind of freak to leave the Land of Laziness, cross the Plains of Procrastination and Insecurity Mountain, find the Blade of No One Made You Do This, and use it to cut your chest open and yank that book out.