my uncle runs a place in Anchorage that serves fish and chips, and he named the half portion the "Texas size" which is just an incredible troll

Strip Law Episode 2 Crypt Law makes a multilayered joke about boring millennials that lasts a MICROSECOND and yet has broken my spirit for the day. #LeaveSufjanAlone

Imma play Disco Elysium until Cheeto Mussolini is done lying for the night. Will donate $5 to the shitpost telethon every time I die (I die a lot).

I will not be lectured by Kimberly Guilfoyle's ex fiancé on normality 😤

Received the winter issue of the @WFMU program guide in the mail today and read it cover to cover. The Klaus Nomi piece made me cry. The analog love of music and paper lives on. ❤️

This place is definitely dead, no question, but the last week's aunties fight somehow influenced me into buying a rice cooker. But for real, feel free to never log on again. You're not missing a thing. Except delicious rice, apparently.

I took my instax mini to the party last night and let everyone choose their pose/accessory. My friend Ann collects Pez dispensers and is currently reading a biography for every US president (until she gets bored). She has all the Pez Prez but she chose to pose with John Quincy Adams.

I have (finally) mastered homemade boba milk tea. Just in time, since yesterday's breakfast outside the house debacle, I'm vowing to only deal in home breakfasts until the outside world gets its shit together.

Sometimes you have a friend who's uncomfortable with a birthday party, but she thinks playing flippy cup is extremely funny when nobody's even drinking alcohol. So we have an annual flip cup tournament.

This place is legit, if you're already out here. They have a drumstick sundae: soft serve ice cream with hot fudge, peanuts and chocolate hard shell served in a waffle bowl. 🤤

Hanging out at St. Louis' most underrated museum today: The National Museum of Transportation. There's a little kid here named Maverick. He's ENTHRALLED.

My car is 12 years old and her name is Siouxie Sioux and she passed her emissions and safety inspection today with zero problems. If you've ever lived in a state without safety inspections, it's real janky.

I am holding onto the brief period before I watched her performance, when I thought Alysa Liu was going to skate to the original version of MacArthur Park. I do love Donna Summer, but the OG would've been truly unhinged.

@notevenkafka.bsky.social HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEFFERS

I don't know how anyone else's normie lib Boomer mom is doing, but mine appears to be interested in secular Buddhism now. She doesn't know the terminology but she's using the four immeasurables to crack my frozen-hearted sister. I'm trying to stay out of it, but it's very tempting.

ATTENTION BLUESKY you don't want to watch the State of the Union next week you want to watch a PowerPoint party telethon of your favorite Bluesky super posters delivering their most unhinged hot takes to raise money for mutual aid in Twin Cities and Portland Poster's Madness for a good cause!!!!

i included this in my syllabi this year

Kathleen was possibly the kindest human in St. Louis. The Tender Land is my favorite memoir (she signed my copy at a birthday party at her house in like 2002). She wrote a letter of recommendation for me for grad school. Hug your friends and tell them you love them. Make it weird. Early and often.

My friend's beloved grandma died this morning. She was ONE HUNDRED AND SIX YEARS OLD. She asked my wife to help her self publish her memoirs for her family 25 YEARS AGO. She didn't even move out of her house until she was 100. Respect for a gal who always did everything in as much time as it took.

BREAKING: Rev. Jesse Jackson, civil rights icon and two-time presidential candidate, dies at 84.

Said goodbye to our neighborhood candy store after 8 years. 😢

Robert Duvall dropped one of my favorite lines from any sports movie. Rest in peace.

I meant to catch up on Olympic figure skating on my day off, but I decided to binge watch Yuri on Ice instead. It's so nice that they made the most annoying skater Canadian.

Gesthemene Lutheran has been in a bit of a messaging slump but the current sign is "GET YOUR ASH IN HERE" 🪦 👏👏👏

I got flowers for not passing out. I did throw up, but I didn't get any on me. Laine breezed through, but she donated whole blood. I did platelets which takes an hour and a half and is a bit more grueling.

I married a Goth, so we're giving blood on Valentine's Day. 🍷⛑️❤️

My BFF from high school owns a small town flower shop and he's encouraged me to come help for Valentine's Day every year and I don't because I'm lazy. He broke his ankle this year so I finally showed up and played gopher for three hours. It was absolute bananapants.

come on

Who's the most famous alum of your high school? You mean for good reasons? We mostly aimed for avoiding infamy. Our dance cards were pretty full with race riots and felony mob actions. There was the one NFL guy who dabbled in pro wrestling in the 90s but I can't remember his name. 📣 Granite City!

This is my home. All of this. 🥲

@neverpost.online I was minutes away from booking an appointment at Louise Carmen when I'm in Paris next month, but then I remembered I already have a better, bespoke leather binder. I call it "The Honklin." If you ever feel like making another one, I will pay you top dollar.

My all time favorite genre of text message is from harried people with dogs who use voice to text for composition.

Not for nothing, but this has been my method of making friends with writers for 30 years and it has a rough 78% success rate.

Zen Me Noodles and Thai crepes out in Crestwood is really good. The owner collects Victrolas and antique radios. The collection is in the back, extremely cool. There's comfy chairs, a sweet shelf of books to read, and free Wi-Fi. Plus the light is incredible.

If deep listening clubs became cool in St. Louis, I would stop being so annoying about foisting my experimental mix tapes on people. Possibly. No promises.

I've lived in the same neighborhood since 1998. That's 28 years. This stretch of Kingshighway is at the end of my block. This video contains the first picture I've ever seen of the Southside Famous Barr, which I've always heard died because racism. youtu.be/rlLxhl00Ph0?...

BACKDRAFT (1991)

“There’s no single answer that will solve all our future problems. There’s no magic bullet. Instead there are thousands of answers—at least. You can be one of them if you choose to be.” ― Octavia E. Butler, A Few Rules for Predicting the Future: An Essay

Went to Milque Toast on Jefferson for breakfast today and the eggs en cocotte were 👩‍🍳💋.

Into anime? Need to watch something cathartic, yet extremely goofy? Scarlet El Vandimion is basically Bugs Bunny in drag. She kicks the asses of rich, powerful, and horrid people in May I Ask for One Final Thing? I'm on the second watch through and I'm still cackling maniacally.

I'm so proud of these nerds. This album is a triumph. If you've got $10 and you like upbeat piano power pop (and who does not?), do yourself a solid and buy the new Middle Class Fashion album. middleclassfashion.bandcamp.com/album/with-a...

❤️

"it is right to give him thanks and praise" was always the funniest part of catholic mass to me. a bunch of people murmuring "retweet"

The word armadillo is borrowed from Spanish and simply means “little armored one.” But an even better word for an armadillo, in my opinion, is the Nahuatl ayotochtli. It means “turtle rabbit.”

Hey folks. Linda is requesting $400 and I think this is a lift we can manage.

Downfall Bovino Edition. You're welcome.

Politicians gotta start calling for Miller to go. Right now.