celibate robert pollard she wants me to cum but im never going there

Orb

my sona has glasses and i am blind as fuck but i dont wear glasses. I'm so fucking fucked

14 calories is a lot if you're tge size of an apple

i like lifting my whole body off the floor to reach inside the washing machine

i vowed to never touch HL again after our team leader made us watch edpuzzles of our match

norwegian black metal demon hunters

u would not believe ur eyes halo 3 coke and fries

artistic rendition of how my cat fell asleep this morning

lrt i like when cats play their guitars even though its hard to press on the frets with paws

selwyn in my notebook

you can have it all yo la tengo new super mario bros wii soundfont

i want a couch and a tv to watch movies on @mrbeastyt.bsky.social

me creating a wormhole to the beach house dimension

my new t-shirt line for people into oviposition

getting so overwhelmed you start seeing little neurons flashing when you bury your face in the pillow is a cray cray feeling

Today my 8YO started telling me excitedly about “non-berry” people. She informed me: - it’s wrong to call them “he” or “she” because they use them/they pronouns - They’re not boys or girls - They have a flag and it’s gray and purple and yellow and white - they all believe in ghosts

this graduation speech moment is notable, and her amazed shock at having failed to read the room feels instructive. when you're inside the bubble, you think everybody else is. but everybody isn't.

discord is back again, but this will happen again very soon, that is why its important to start looking into alternative social apps take back your social life with these alternative apps (that are actually BETTER than discord and bluesky) people are seriously sleeping on these apps 👇

eating breakfast is kovaaks for the soul

the neighbors started a bonfire and now i got that smokey smell

everybody look at this sticker drawn by @majoramortis.bsky.social and try not to freak out over how awesomesauce this cat is!!!!!!!!!

I love it when JRPGs do this

You didn't name the horse during that entire trip through the desert? Is this a joke to you

yeah i hunt bears

They should make a super HD realistic version of that Macro Starfox porno where they fuck the buildings

I’m on that shit jehova hasn’t even witnessed

people talk about katy perry making out in her mustang to radiohead but never about her getting matching tattoos on her 18th birthday. she might just be dumb as bricks

accidently leaving your window open in the rain and letting all the petrichor in your house

i did not endure years of the unfunniest people parroting charlie the unicorn for people to now be saying this

guy who edges with a pomodoro timer

imogen heap fortress 2 blue be higher uncleared sample

missing busses and walking 15 miles to see my love

put kitty in sock to bring comfort 🐈+🧦=🐛 (2021)

guy who got sucked inside out trying to fuck a vacuum cleaner: and by the way, I just don’t think it makes much political sense, strategically, for the left to keep making “vacuum fucker” jokes

i learned that micro may is a thing. hell yeah this is my month

getting out of bed at 1 pm and eating junk food and immedietely hopping on tf2 is there any way i can soft reset today

punches you #Xiyalicious.clover

I want a game that uses Disco Elysium's same insanely well crafted narrative system and wonderful writing... ...but it's about a fat plumber trying to solve the kidnapping of his princess in a Dinosaur Land.

talking to a substack writer

this is the same type of posting they did when cracker barrel changed its logo

Prove it

Limited Time: $1000 Walmart Gift Card

indie sleaze fox sona named fleet with a blue spotted tail

fedex will walk into mcdonalds at 11:30 in the morning and go Yo i got a package