Platner's a piece of shit but Mitch McConnell might be dead so I'm going to need everyone to check in on their RIPCON Readiness Status

holy shit what a 4th of july

my cat as soon as it hits 2hrs to dinnertime youtu.be/13YlEPwOfmk?...

took 10mg of melatonin instead of my usual 5, im fucking faded off the gummy bro

getting a new phone today but the case and screen protector won't arrive for another day or two. think I might raw-dog it with no case for the thrill of it

Me, @smugglingrapes.bsky.social, and @capybeera.biblicalcryptid.com hitting this in unison every three beers

this guy fucking sucks at drawing dinosaurs

day off today, happy Juneteenth

"I need a tree nut with a pleasing color that can be used in both savory and sweet dishes, is a good source of unsaturated fat, and makes a little game out of eating them" The humble pistachio:

heart of glass on the bar touch tunes got me white girl dancing

bro it's 83°, it just stormed, humidity is over 70%, I am not built for this shit it sucks

do you think someone could convince Trump to annex alexandria and the parts of northern Virginia necessary to return the DC borders to their original diamond shape

She cupping my world as I broadcast

I saw OBAA with my dad when it came out because he was visiting me. I just went back home last weekend and he said he's seen it like 4 times and its his favorite movie of last year. The white retired X-oomers are ready for a revolution

you just had to be there I can't explain it

my local Wendy's drive thru is running Ubuntu in dark mode and I can see the tabs of the Firefox browser that's running the webapp it uses to show the customers order

10/10 explosion

its cute how the Seattle Link says "doors to my left/right" when arriving at a station like the train itself is talking to you

POPPY PULL let's GO

pulled a Gorby but no Saddam in the whole box

thinking about how good my dad is at being retired. he raised two kids, stopped drinking for his health when they went to college, now he just hangs out with his friends riding motorcycles and getting high in the evenings. he's my hero

Im over here not stroking my dick I got Loctite on my dick rn I'm just not stroking my shit at all it's the red stuff too I need some help actually

now seated for:

something incredibly funny might soon happen

"Hi babe how was work?" Me:

imagining joe biden falling over like one of those chinese robots

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Jimmy i love ya man but this shit does not hold a candle anywhere close to the original. I had rose tinted glasses for this film for over a decade and this re-watching, while enjoyable, really broke the veil for me

nrw (directors cut):

logging on

happy big beer friday

theres a direct cultural line from Toshiro Mifune's sword in this movie to some shit in fromsoft games and it fucking rules

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why did no one tell me Chattanooga is actually kind of awesome. this bar I'm in has a real dumbwaiter and they allow smoking in bars

did anybody else know how to work a camera like Kurosawa and his cinematographers back in the day? it's crazy

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Shorts on guns out and flip flops thangin it's a nice day out boys

Mamdani is not just filling the potholes with the crew. He's creating a visual and personal reminder of the dignity inherent in all of these anonymous government jobs.

yeah the state of modern technology sucks in a lot of ways but I can also walk around work with a wireless speaker in my ear that lets me hear the voices of astronauts who are about to swing around the fucking moon in real time

Angine de Pointrine had a tour scheduled at a small venue in my city then they blew up. of course that show is already sold out, so they rebooked at one of the biggest venues in the city. a single ticket is over $300 I fucking love and hate the internet. more importantly, live Nation Execs should be

Iran Imposes New ‘Cash, Grass, Or Ass’ Fee For Strait Of Hormuz

bring me the strait of hormuz ok get the strait of hormuz out of here

another certified Satoshi Kon heater

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personal Mandela effect, apparently pilk is Pepsi+milk but I would have bet you $100 yesterday that it was Pepto+milk

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