I'm going to have a martini

Newly Unsealed Batch Of Epstein Estate Photos Contains Rare Holographic Dershowitz

“Just be cool” is my political philosophy

I just learned that Susie Wiles' dad was Pat Summerall

Need a cardinals trade today

I may be a 30 something straight guy with no wife gf or kids but listen to me when I say this is my solemn vow: I will never have ambition

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

Would love to see a waymo car dodge potholes

We're doing arch. They didn't, they said it wasn't possible, and [quickly, stumbling] it wasn't possible with sleepy joe and the autopen but [awful wet breath] we're doing arch, and quite frankly we are doing plaza as well.

STEVE HARVEY: something with 8 legs you don’t want to see in your bedroom ME, BUZZING IN IMMEDIATELY: 4 men fucking my wife

Just know there was a lot of jazz in my top 15 artists of the year

Sitting on the stairs with my cat instead of working

Calypso Christmas was kind of a bust, but I know Phil spector’s Christmas album will be a banger

Just got a bunch of goofy Christmas records at the store

Happy thanksgiving from Angela

If moss can survive going to space, I can survive my stupid email job

Engaging in operation permanent slowdown. "Fuck that shit" -me

I will never download shop to track package

Hard for me to imagine my work getting any worse but time to start imagining, buddy

You know what’s cool? Greg Olsen’s combover

Someone is locked in for nfl football

Excuse to post a classic?

I'm about ready to get in a canoe and take it down the Mississippi and leave all of this behind

Hey guys we need to raise your power bills again because the jackoff material factory needs more power to turn your mom and daughter’s pictures into pornography and we need you to pay for it

I better have a slow day at work when the Epstein files are released

First time back at trivia in more than a month and you better believe we won

Tonight I’m getting Mexican food and beer and then seeing free jazz. Life is good

not really the point of this post but this is how Jeffrey Epstein spelled the basketball player's name

Love my cat more than anything in the world

guy who finally decides today he has enough information to conclude donald trump is a pedophile

I don't want to "drill down," or "circle back" I want to go to sleep on the floor

incredible new trump photo

found out today there's a sticker pack in microsoft teams of a guy named calamity bert who's about to kill himself

I'm crashing out

Angela Cat

What does my cat think of my laptop? I think it’s jealousy and I promise to do better

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

Boss had me on the phone for an unprompted 45 minute pep talk. Morale could not be lower

I'm dreaming the dream. The hot pot dream

Sun going down. I'll see everyone in the spring

Yamamoto mvp

Remember when Yamamoto was pitching yesterday???

Now this is a crazy baseball game

DEADBEAT BOYFRIEND DRACULA: I vant...to smoke....your veed

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

Yup

Emotional support World Series game tonight

New Steve tibbetts record you say?