just confidently told someone that if you win the World Cup you get to host it and they quietly said ‘that’s Eurovision’

The heat has convinced me that they should let barristers wear shorts.

Another patient, antiphonal & contemporary BBCFreeThinking — on crime & punishment. Even the edgy silences speak @drmatthewsweet.bsky.social talks to @stephemmabrown.bsky.social , @scouttzofiya.bsky.social, @joannahs.bsky.social, Stephen Shapiro, Jonathan Sumption www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

It’s *classic* Starmer to use the dying vapours of his evaporating authority to panic-run the dismal policy of restricting jury trials. How fitting for a former lawyer: one last go, one final verdict, one more time. And how fitting if it was the verdict that finished him off.

Thanks @drmatthewsweet.bsky.social for brilliantly hosting Free Thinking - Crime and Punishment, Medieval to Modern with @stephenshapiro.bsky.social, @joannahs.bsky.social, @scouttzofiya.bsky.social, Jonathan Sumption and me. If you missed it, catch up on BBC Sounds ⬇️

Great to see @joannahs.bsky.social on #politicslive educating politicians on the reality of jury trials and the world criminal lawyers, who should be getting investment ( and medals) not token attacks on our rights ...

These are exceptionally generous words from my professional colleagues in the year I took time off to have and raise my baby. Thank you, you lovely people - I adore working with you all 🥹

URGENT UPDATE! WE NEED YOUR HELP Thanks to everyone who has entered, we've had some amazing pictures. BUT we have not received enough entries! We know social media is a mess & that you're all very busy, but we need your help. Entries are now open until *5th October*

Need some summer #reading inspiration? Join writer @horatioclare.bsky.social criminal defence barrister @joannahs.bsky.social & presenter @harriettsg.bsky.social to hear about the #books that have inspired them. A Good Read 3pm Mon 21 July @BBCRadio4 or @BBCSounds www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

Link to women's Tees: billablehour.teemill.com/product/man-... Link to men's Tees: billablehour.teemill.com/product/man-... But customisation is on, so you can choose your own shirt, colour. You can put the design on kid's clothing and bags. You can even buy a print of the design.

BIG NEWS!! The second BillableHour Summer Tee is now available with all profits going to @savechildrenUK. It is a banger from design superstar @gailmyerscough.co.uk and a must have for any lawyer (link to shop in reply). As you'd expect from a tee this reasonable, it comes in many colours. BEHOLD!!

I need all of #lawsky to see this video from a Colorado appeals court livestream yesterday. I am in actual tears. Sound *incredibly* on, the subtitles will not help.

normalise going into the softplay centre in a hazmat suit

When defendant four realises, mid-trial, that he’s toast and decides to raise the temperature a bit by dropping the cutthroat in cross-examination :

The hallmarks of Twitter are now: * replacement theory * obsession with nationalism and ‘treachery’ * obsession with perceived ‘enemies’ and ‘invaders’ * blatant racism said out loud * ‘two tier justice’ (definition varies) All of it unchecked and unchallenged. They’re grouping and gathering.

Made the mistake of going into bat on Twitter against the Jenrick and Cummings crowd - forgetting that you’d all left me there. Needless to say I’m now being called a ‘bird’ by someone called ‘Don Gargantuan’ & being told lawyers should be tried for treason by some blokes who seem to like flags.

Understanding the sentence of Lucy Connolly Had it not been for competent legal advice, her sentence could have been far harsher By me, at @prospectmagazine.co.uk www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/ideas/law/th...

Ok. I’ll bite. How are we supposed to reduce the backlog when the Crown Court DCS takes 8 minutes to load a single page?

The BBC are airing a lovely little omnibus of ‘You Do Not Have To Say Anything’ this weekend. Saturday at 9pm ❤️ 🎧 🎙️

honestly by the time I’ve downloaded my court entry pass, two-factored the Common Platform, wrangled with evidence dot com’s timeout and tried to load the glitchy DCS it’s time to go home again.

Meanwhile, in the other place, two hot topics have finally, inevitably, collided:

Swastikas in a children’s playground? You pathetic racists. You complete cowards.

The Sentencing Council will never be allowed to issue guidelines about pre-sentence reports that “include provision framed by reference to different personal characteristics of an offender” if a bill published yesterday by the justice secretary becomes law. rozenberg.substack.com/p/characteri...

See my analysis today.

If they wish to ban guidelines re race, religion & culture then they should say so. If they wish to ban all ‘personal characteristics’ then they should say so. Where does this mash-up leave pregnant women? Youths? Those with mental health problems, disabilities or addictions?

Life over on Twitter continues going from strength to strength

Everyone seems to think a Pre-Sentence Report is some kind of gateway to a get-out-of-jail-free card but, honestly, defence barristers everywhere DREAD reading them. Your ‘two-tier justice’ is far from the reality.

Lord Justice William Davis quietly pointing out that a pre-sentence report can make a prison sentence more - rather than less - likely is *chef’s kiss* This isn’t two-tier justice. It’s just information about offenders. And information cuts both ways. www.sentencingcouncil.org.uk/wp-content/u...

I've written this for The Times about taking Paternity Leave: www.thetimes.com/article/5f83...

I should say - because I am contractually obliged to - that if anybody wishes to pre-order The Cut Throat Trial (and I will be pathetically grateful if you do), links to various booksellers - including lovely independents - are at this link: bio.to/7zNmPU Out 28th August 2025.

Ah, my old friend, Norovirus. The working mum’s Ozempic.

I’ve binge-listened to this today. Enlightening, informative, gripping. Lord Reith would approve.

When you lied on your Doggy Daycare application about your level of agility:

I regret to inform you that someone has a) stolen my favourite writing seat in the library and is b) eating a hot tuna panini by the radiator. Hard to decide or predict my next move. More as we get it.

Results of the @thecriminalbar.bsky.social survey show that 1 in 3 criminal barristers are eyeing the exit 👀

when you accidentally open the dishwasher door - and it’s on - and you feel like you’ve seen something you shouldn’t like, sorry sir, let me respect your privacy and quickly close this back up

Lawyers - Remember when we had to go and hand in documents to the Court of Appeal Criminal Office in person? And they had a little handout with directions? It was quite bonkers - like ‘do a U turn, take the gold lift, avoid the Bear Garden’ type stuff. DOES ANYONE HAVE A COPY?

Huge shout out to my dog for doing a ‘won’t-be-rushed’ poo in the middle of a pedestrian crossing with queues of traffic each side.

@joannahs.bsky.social I loved "You do not have to say anything". Some stuff I at least sort-of knew, some great insights, and oh dear goodness on vermin. Congratulations and thank you.

This really is an excellent series. I binged it while stuck on a train for far too long. Will be a strong "recommend" for my students. Many congratulations @joannahs.bsky.social.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m... For anyone who wants to know more about the criminal justice and how it actually works, as opposed to how it is portrayed. This new series by @joannahs.bsky.social is very enjoyable, bringing more than a few smiles and a great many nods from this retired detective.

Thank you @rmcunliffe.bsky.social for this lovely review of You Do Not Have To Say Anything w @joannahs.bsky.social - rockstar of the legal world and dream to work with :)

Yes, this was absolutely fantastic radio by @joannahs.bsky.social

Just a note to say how much I LOVED @joannahs.bsky.social's Radio 4 series You Do Not Have To Say Anything, on demystifying the criminal justice system. And you can read how much I loved it here, and in this week's New Statesman magazine www.newstatesman.com/culture/radi...

📈Today, 5 March 2025, 109 out of the 516 Crown courtrooms in England & Wales will not be sitting. That's 21% of them. #courtstats #CS05032025 courtstats.co.uk

Offer him a state visit to Clacket Lane Service Station. He can have a burger in his motorcade the great big bully.

This handsome boy is Mully. A v healthy 10yrs young, he urgently needs a loving new home as he hates his sister & living in a conflict zone is not good for any of us! He is a real love bug & purrs like a train. He likes to explore our small garden & play with his toys & would be a great companion

Amazing listen here by @joannahs.bsky.social. massively insightful into the justice system. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand...