Teaching children to see the special in others: open.substack.com/pub/counselo...

Went for a swim in the Cam this evening and I don’t know why I thought it would be warm. It wasn’t.

Why do the Mittys always get the medals wrong?

Have I missed the part where Trump says what was he doing, alone with Virginia Giuffre?

Me when I tried Original Source mint & tea tree shower gel for the first time.

The media would have you believe the prisons are in crisis, the bad news is, it’s not just the prisons: open.substack.com/pub/counselo...

Identifying and holding the BBC to account for its shortcomings is legitimate and important. Wishing it existential ill is wishing Britain ill.

6yo: Do you have break at court? Me: Yes, we drink tea or coffee. 6: Do you go to the playground? M: No, we don’t have one. 6: You should have a playground. 🛝

Was manning the 'Wellie Wanging' stall at the Autumn fete of the Hardy Boys' London primary school. Clarification sought by numerous mystified parents, born overseas, who were unfamiliar with both wellies and wanging.

Can anyone in their late 30s or 40s explain why the rest of Jane Austen missed out on the Clueless treatment?

Sweets. Possibly jelly babies. It is v disconcerting for a witness (particularly if they have been trained) to have someone be nice to them and find they spend a decent amount of time agreeing with you - when what you are in fact doing is laying a trail.

To be a barrister you need a brain, to be an effective barrister you need an armoury. 🧠🦯🗡️🔫🪶💣https://open.substack.com/pub/counselofperfection/p/the-barristers-armoury?r=7wxlo&utm_medium=ios

AI content is like ‘Ha ha, look at these credulous morons in the comments’ until you go ‘Wow, this is incredible!’ … oh

On the school run listening to ‘Life of a Showgirl’. 6yo: Why do womens dress with clothes on half their body. Me: That is a long story.

It really shouldn’t be 15 degrees on Bonfire Night.

The irony of Nobody Wants this is that Everybody Wants This.

On way to school. 6yo: When will we get to our destiny? Me: Wow! I’m really not sure I have an answer to that question in the middle of the school run. 9yo: He means destination.

When an atrocity happens it is unrealistic to expect immediate answers from the police in the same way that it is unrealistic to expect an immediate solution. And anyone promising an immediate solution is a liar.

Someone got into my car last night and had a good old rifle through the pockets. Inexplicably, they left the Bugaboo in the boot. Clearly not a parent

The less princes submit to the laws of the people the less people submit to princes.

I’m worried that Beppe’s Cafe features so prominently in Slow Horses as it’ll now be overrun with tourists which will making getting a fry up before the Old Bailey a nightmare.

Well House of Dynamite was a nice relaxing watch before bedtime.

Lily Allen’s new album shows that revenge is a dish best served vinyl.

Last Tangoed in Paris

This is a whole film premise in a job advert: www.tes.com/jobs/vacancy...

Who needs Waterloo Sunset when you can have Woolwich Sunrise?

Still time to wish you a happy Kismet Hardy day.

Just want to say that obviously I was invited to the British Museum's Pink Ball but unfortunately I made the mistake of washing my pink suit with the whites and so had nothing to wear.

Lived in London for 45 years and only saw this building on Three Mills Island for the first time last week and it’s already a favourite. This city gives for a lifetime.

It used to be a compliment to be told you have the manners of a prince.

"Parking is such sweet sorrow"

Kanoya Kanpachirou (PR chief of Kanoya City) is a skilled dancer with the head of an amberjack.

You know you’ve been at the Criminal Bar too long when your first thought is murder trial and not painting and decorating.

You think you’re living in the 21st century until you get emails from the school and nursery about lice and hand, foot and mouth disease and you realise nothing has changed since the Middle Ages.

Jane Goodall, Jilly Cooper, Diane Keaton. If ever there was a time when we needed women of their kind more.

The Tourist Board under Reform. Don’t miss a trip to the Pastycceria.

Nobody nobbles Nobel.

“so how about next week you try to be more of a bo-YES-bo?” - chimp therapist

Hardy boy: How are babies made? Me: I’ve explained this before. HB: Yes, but where does it happen? Me: What do you mean? HB: Do you have to go to hospital? Me: No, that would be weird.

Jilly Cooper was sauce. Now everything's just coarse.

A simply extraordinary thread which ends up as an allegory about the perils of discarding things that were made to last. It’s a crying shame how little value is attached to ‘brown wood’ furniture.

In memoriam...

Killing innocents never was and never will be a righteous act. Whoever you are, wherever you’re from, whatever you believe.

Nursery. Accident form: ‘Your 1yo was bitten by a friend.’ That is not an accident. That is not a friend.

Just longing for the ‘Do your spellings’ phase of parenting to end.

Told the older Hardy boys that we are taking them to a Scottish dancing class on Sunday and I honestly think they’d rather go to the dentist’s.

This gesture by the French scrum half Pauline Bourdon Sansus is the most French thing that ever happened