With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

you're doing amazing everybody ❤️

Every day I find that I really don't want to and can't possibly think of any more things and every day I'm presented with a whole new set of things to think about.

One of the best things I’ve read in a while:

Alex Pretti was a nurse and an an alum of UMN.

Please donate to my Kickstarter to make "Morty Supreme," a shot-for-shot remake of "Marty Supreme" with Richard Kind in the Timothée Chalamet role.

Happy Hater's Guide to all who celebrate!

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

They're building concentration camps with money they stole from medicare.

This week feels even bleaker than the bleak weeks already piled up behind us, doesn’t it? So… Let’s: Donate a few $$ (if we’ve got them) to the people and orgs that need them most Go easier on each other and ourselves Go harder on the monsters who deserve it And watch some Golden Girls

I'm watching my first Eurovision finals and I am CAPTIVATED.

Will make Il Papa proud, it's gonna cause a scene I see a cardinal, I know he's gonna scream "Haaaaaabemas papam." (Obviously, hat tip to yer squeeze, @xoxogossipgita.bsky.social )

Correction, Babysitting Blues. youtu.be/552PLnE61TM?...

Every now and again, I find that "Babysitter's Blues" from Adventures in Babysitting is running through my head. I'm realizing just tonight that this happens both frequently and without any obvious prompting.

Stand up Walk around Do crimes!

I love my echo chamber where everyone values the humanity of other people and enjoys the arts.

Saw Sinners last night and all I want to do is wrap myself in a blanket of its discourse. I want to read all the posts, listen to the podcast discussions, talk about it with everyone.

Watching Coachella feeds with my teenagers is really joyful. Marina to Kneecap so far.

The horrors of the world persist, but hopefully what we did here in Wisconsin tonight will make those horrors less horrible.

We can upload 3 minute videos now. YOU KNOW THE RULE

SESAME STREET WORKERS ARE UNIONIZING!!! ✊ This morning, workers at the nonprofit behind Sesame Street delivered their letter asking for voluntary recognition to management! Read all about it: www.opeiulocal153.org/news/employe...

Michelle Obama: Kids should have nutritious meals. The pro-life party: This is an outrage! RFK Jr: Kids should have measles, mumps, and polio. The pro-life party: Yes, king! Tell it like it is!

This show is so funny and sweet. It's the comfort watch we all need right now.

We need to celebrate every act of defiance. Thank you, Children's Hospital of Wisconsin!

Up in the wee hours due to covid-related insomnia. Using this time to send letters to my electeds using @resist.bot

Being a person with deadly, incurable cancer who is nonetheless still alive for an indefinite timeframe gives me an interesting metaphor that helps me deal with things like large-scale corruption in government or commerce. Bear with me for a second while I try to explain.

You do not have to consume every single tiny piece of bad news in order to be a good person. It’s ok to miss things. Traumatizing yourself isn’t the same as activism. Bearing witness to the point that you’re paralyzed with fear and horror and fury isn’t going to help us get through this.

Severance S2E1 is out tonight in case this information makes anyone's day remotely better!

The last time news of Hilaria forgetting the English word for a vegetable was in heavy rotation was in the days leading up to the insurrection. This can't bode well for any of us.

My resolution this year (and every year) is to be a more available, supportive friend as well as an increasingly looming, formidable enemy.

Movie theater (and mall) of my childhood

IT'S HATER'S GUIDE DAY!

Sometimes I think about how I would like to work on a second language. And then I see a news headline that says "Skibidi toilet Fortnite skin to drop." And I realize I know what every word in that sentence means. Turns out I speak fluent middle school.

This is horrific

A lot of people think everything will work out if we just play by the rules but don’t seem to recognize that rules only matter when everyone agrees to follow them and, well, that isn’t our present reality.

Some helpful tips, but missing one on how to make a scene that creates maximum discomfort and permanently burns bridges. Which is my plan. I’m going out like a supernova. See you never, motherfuckers.

Not only are the Bucks playing great, they look like they're having fun, but I think the first Tullamore-Tullamore-Tullamore Dew commercial didn't air until halftime! #milwaukeebucks

Shouts from the rooftops:

@nicoloonorato.bsky.social would be a fine addition to this novelty starter pack.

Kenzi is here! We can get the weekly agendas! We can get all the Laird updates!

Great band name,,, YEAH BOY GEORGE HARRISON FORD COPPOLA

Is Netflix working for anyone right now? #TysonPaul

I've got a kid in rehearsals for A Christmas Carol The Rep and killing time in the River Center building is becoming quite a treat!

Another way to limit burnout is to be intentional about who you follow on here. Don't be so quick to follow all the same accounts you followed on Twitter. Pay attention to how you feel when scrolling your feed. If you feel outraged, scared and powerless most of the time, maybe unfollow some folks

Will we have Blue Sky main characters of the day? Blue Sky Feral Hogs? Blue Sky Bean Dad? Blue Sky Mad at Lady Who Likes To Sit In Her Garden With Her Husband?

BREAKING: Richard Kind is PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive 2024!