Jack Antonoff: and I guess that's how we sorta landed on the bedroom pop feel of Midnights Andy Reid: [wiping blue cheese dressing from his mustache]

Don't know if I've heard a worse answer to a question than in the Internet NZ AGM

this internet NZ AGM is taking so long to do online that i think we should do away with the internet in NZ altogether

Nothing more apt for the times than the "New World" being on fire

Pope Francis was elected pope in 2013, the year Lorde released her first album. Pope Leo was elected pope in 2025, the year Lorde released her fourth album. Sure, the Lord works. But the Lorde works harder

When I saw this. Wow 😮

Alex Ovechkin scores career goal #895 setting the NHL record, the entire bench clears to celebrate

I don't believe any of the millennial-renaissance discourse. They don't truly love us, they've just decided that skinny jeans were kinda cute to be contrarian. The tide will turn and Gen Z and Alpha will hate us again soon. Don't fall for it

meetings have to be two hours long because you spend the first hour pointing out that all the additions that people want to make have already been written in

What if the tree doesn't fall in the forest when it knows no one will hear it because it WANTS to be HEARD did you ever think about that??

Someone found a van gogh in their garage which is almost exactly where I’d expect a going van to be.

Two new zealand kids escaped a kindergarten this week, after a door was left open by a teacher. People say thats bad but I think its wise to be teaching kiwis how to leave from such a young age.

ME: *writing in my journal with the sole aim of pissing off future historians and archaeologists* I returned to my home - which is built in the usual style - by the normal way, and prepared and ate dinner in the way I often but not always do

there are two types of male groupchats. they either have a name like “BONER BOYS RES[ERECT]ED: HORNY 4 LIFE, 2 CAKED UP 2 DIE” but everyone’s just encouraging each other on breakups and to try therapy. the other will be named something like “gary chat” and filled with domestic terrorists

[playing poker] FRIEND: I’m all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, I’m all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are

Not sure anything I’ve done professionally, as much as I wish it were, has been as important as the Cat Political Compass I just created

SIMPLY HAVING A

Working on the final newsletter and script of the year

cannot tell you how happy it makes me that spotify wrapped sucked this year. and THEN to find out that it was because they fired the HUMAN that made the ALGORITHM so good? *chefs kiss* computers are still dumb as fuck i'm still smarter than them

death threats are okay as long as they're written like "we're increasing the cost of your insulin" or "we're privatising the health sector"

thus begins my annual solo crusade against spotify wrapped

I’m such a big cricket fan that I will share my cricket opinions liberally even though I think they’re mostly bad opinions

Every cricket groundsman looks like they match a cricket player beer for beer but without the rest of the training and exercise

Weird how much of a capitalist Chris Luxon is considering his inability to own his bad decisions

This All Blacks vs Italy start has been as messy as the personal life of the young male athletes these players once were

Man, Black Friday sales really aren't what they used to be. Which was something that is existed in the USA and no where else in the world.

I don't need to know your star sign to know anything about you, I just need to know whether you've had to experience a summer Christmas while everyone sings about how cozy the fire is inside. Southern Hemisphere girlie? Empath. Northern Hemisphere girlie? Un-self aware. Probably fascist.

It's so hard to do Southern Hemisphere Hot Girl Summer when everyone else is posting about how cold it is

I’m not career driven. I’m people driven. People drive me. I don’t have a licence.

In other NZ news, police are searching for a missing boat with 700kg of meth on board. I am not a drugs or a police person but aren't the boats with 700kg usually meant to be missing from police?

Fourteen newspapers in regional NZ are shutting down, which is going to astronomically set back rural kids ability to compete against urban papier mâché.

coming back to bluesky realising how funny i used to be on here

do u know how ontologically evil you have to be for everyone to cheer when you die

Bangladesh vs NZ cricket teams are digging through this ground like you dig through cookies and cream ice cream to find the cookies

Never trust a tech bro who says they're creating God with AI like these people have no imagination they think God is some punitive guy in the sky that people love even though he's a dickhead. The tech bro is just creating an AI of himself and calling it God.

He’s a terrorist! Of love. And an enemy of the state! Of happiness. And he’s a convict

I went to my first flag football training last night and then made a joke about how I am now on a trajectory to the 2028 olympics and then realised that because I live in New Zealand that’s not really a joke

Whenever I feel like I’ve lost interest in some of my old hobbies I take sure I get a writing deadline and then TA DA interest renewed

Actually Frankenstein is a student not a scientist. Oncoming bourgeois industrial modernity - Enlightenment, science, and technology without social justice, equality, or freedom - is the monster.

They call it a “cold” call because of the way our hearts and minds are emotionally closed off to new and exciting opportunities

I want a leaf blower for Christmas from my partner but I’m aware that borders too close to making her into a “bought my wife a vacuum for Christmas” dude

unstoppable force of people hating ian foster vs immovable object people assuming the all blacks should always win the world cup

Is it cake or is it the modern ritual of lighting fires on food and ingesting a little bit of your friend via their spit on your slice