Michelle
@michellewiley.bsky.social
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Everything I say is sarcastic except for the stuff that's not Auckland based comedian
reposted by
Michelle
Bradford Pearson
5 months ago
Jack Antonoff: and I guess that's how we sorta landed on the bedroom pop feel of Midnights Andy Reid: [wiping blue cheese dressing from his mustache]
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Don't know if I've heard a worse answer to a question than in the Internet NZ AGM
6 months ago
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this internet NZ AGM is taking so long to do online that i think we should do away with the internet in NZ altogether
6 months ago
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Nothing more apt for the times than the "New World" being on fire
7 months ago
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Pope Francis was elected pope in 2013, the year Lorde released her first album. Pope Leo was elected pope in 2025, the year Lorde released her fourth album. Sure, the Lord works. But the Lorde works harder
8 months ago
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reposted by
Michelle
Jessica de Heij
10 months ago
When I saw this. Wow š®
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Michelle
CJ Fogler
9 months ago
Alex Ovechkin scores career goal #895 setting the NHL record, the entire bench clears to celebrate
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I don't believe any of the millennial-renaissance discourse. They don't truly love us, they've just decided that skinny jeans were kinda cute to be contrarian. The tide will turn and Gen Z and Alpha will hate us again soon. Don't fall for it
10 months ago
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meetings have to be two hours long because you spend the first hour pointing out that all the additions that people want to make have already been written in
11 months ago
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What if the tree doesn't fall in the forest when it knows no one will hear it because it WANTS to be HEARD did you ever think about that??
11 months ago
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Someone found a van gogh in their garage which is almost exactly where Iād expect a going van to be.
12 months ago
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Two new zealand kids escaped a kindergarten this week, after a door was left open by a teacher. People say thats bad but I think its wise to be teaching kiwis how to leave from such a young age.
12 months ago
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Michelle
good hyuck, babe!
12 months ago
ME: *writing in my journal with the sole aim of pissing off future historians and archaeologists* I returned to my home - which is built in the usual style - by the normal way, and prepared and ate dinner in the way I often but not always do
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Michelle
soul nate
about 1 year ago
there are two types of male groupchats. they either have a name like āBONER BOYS RES[ERECT]ED: HORNY 4 LIFE, 2 CAKED UP 2 DIEā but everyoneās just encouraging each other on breakups and to try therapy. the other will be named something like āgary chatā and filled with domestic terrorists
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reposted by
Michelle
Kalvin the Reindeer
about 1 year ago
[playing poker] FRIEND: Iām all in ME: [yearning for this type of commitment since we first met] me too, man, Iām all in too FRIEND: um, a pair of kings ME: you bet we are
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Michelle
Dara Lind
about 1 year ago
Not sure anything Iāve done professionally, as much as I wish it were, has been as important as the Cat Political Compass I just created
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Michelle
Chris Thorburn
about 1 year ago
SIMPLY HAVING A
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Michelle
Ed Zitron
about 1 year ago
Working on the final newsletter and script of the year
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cannot tell you how happy it makes me that spotify wrapped sucked this year. and THEN to find out that it was because they fired the HUMAN that made the ALGORITHM so good? *chefs kiss* computers are still dumb as fuck i'm still smarter than them
about 1 year ago
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death threats are okay as long as they're written like "we're increasing the cost of your insulin" or "we're privatising the health sector"
about 1 year ago
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thus begins my annual solo crusade against spotify wrapped
about 1 year ago
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Iām such a big cricket fan that I will share my cricket opinions liberally even though I think theyāre mostly bad opinions
about 1 year ago
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Every cricket groundsman looks like they match a cricket player beer for beer but without the rest of the training and exercise
about 1 year ago
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Weird how much of a capitalist Chris Luxon is considering his inability to own his bad decisions
about 1 year ago
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This All Blacks vs Italy start has been as messy as the personal life of the young male athletes these players once were
about 1 year ago
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Man, Black Friday sales really aren't what they used to be. Which was something that is existed in the USA and no where else in the world.
about 1 year ago
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I don't need to know your star sign to know anything about you, I just need to know whether you've had to experience a summer Christmas while everyone sings about how cozy the fire is inside. Southern Hemisphere girlie? Empath. Northern Hemisphere girlie? Un-self aware. Probably fascist.
about 1 year ago
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It's so hard to do Southern Hemisphere Hot Girl Summer when everyone else is posting about how cold it is
about 1 year ago
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Iām not career driven. Iām people driven. People drive me. I donāt have a licence.
about 1 year ago
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In other NZ news, police are searching for a missing boat with 700kg of meth on board. I am not a drugs or a police person but aren't the boats with 700kg usually meant to be missing from police?
about 1 year ago
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Fourteen newspapers in regional NZ are shutting down, which is going to astronomically set back rural kids ability to compete against urban papier mâché.
about 1 year ago
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coming back to bluesky realising how funny i used to be on here
about 1 year ago
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reposted by
Michelle
Hexcraft (goth bf era)
about 2 years ago
do u know how ontologically evil you have to be for everyone to cheer when you die
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Bangladesh vs NZ cricket teams are digging through this ground like you dig through cookies and cream ice cream to find the cookies
about 2 years ago
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Never trust a tech bro who says they're creating God with AI like these people have no imagination they think God is some punitive guy in the sky that people love even though he's a dickhead. The tech bro is just creating an AI of himself and calling it God.
about 2 years ago
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Heās a terrorist! Of love. And an enemy of the state! Of happiness. And heās a convict
about 2 years ago
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I went to my first flag football training last night and then made a joke about how I am now on a trajectory to the 2028 olympics and then realised that because I live in New Zealand thatās not really a joke
about 2 years ago
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Whenever I feel like Iāve lost interest in some of my old hobbies I take sure I get a writing deadline and then TA DA interest renewed
about 2 years ago
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reposted by
Michelle
Jack Graham
about 2 years ago
Actually Frankenstein is a student not a scientist. Oncoming bourgeois industrial modernity - Enlightenment, science, and technology without social justice, equality, or freedom - is the monster.
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They call it a ācoldā call because of the way our hearts and minds are emotionally closed off to new and exciting opportunities
about 2 years ago
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I want a leaf blower for Christmas from my partner but Iām aware that borders too close to making her into a ābought my wife a vacuum for Christmasā dude
about 2 years ago
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unstoppable force of people hating ian foster vs immovable object people assuming the all blacks should always win the world cup
about 2 years ago
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Is it cake or is it the modern ritual of lighting fires on food and ingesting a little bit of your friend via their spit on your slice
about 2 years ago
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