Terrifying headline if you don’t realize they are sports teams.

Help this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen I can’t stop watching Kyrie Irving vs the robot 😭😭😭

MUST SEE TV

what would be the funniest way to find out It happened like via Jeff Passan or something

“It’s happened three times already. Have we forgotten Carlos Boozer? Have we gotten so far from his disaster paint job in Chicago that the lesson has to be learned again? The advantages do not outweigh the risks.” @tylerparker.bsky.social:

They’re helping me get better. I prefer that. I like that. Let’s be physical so the next time when you foul too much on me, and I get you to foul out, I will just say bye-bye and smile to you.”

The valuations of ~200 sports franchises in one chart 🏈🏀⚾️🏒⚽️🏎️

New piece for Prime for the NBA Cup semifinals tonight

Surprised this isn’t a bigger deal. I know Curry gets the superstar treatment, but Edwards is a star in his own right, and for a guy of his caliber to have to sit out a game because another guy took his shoes just sits wrong with me.

For the second straight NBA season, the average 2 point shot is yielding more points than the average 3 point shot This is after decades of 3s being more valuable

A sketch after every Raptors game this season 26/82

lol

Just bought a paper from a newsboy on the street who was clanging his bell and yelling “EXTREE! EXTREE! CHIEFS DYNASTY DISMANTLED! OFFICIALS DECLARE IT MAHOVER!”

DAVE DOMBROWSKI, ON THE PHONE OUTSIDE A RESTAURANT: Yeah. Okay. Fine. So is the blood back inside him

netflix is also sending warner brothers an unprotected 2032 pelicans first.

“The job of journalists is not to ‘imagine’ what a crucial stakeholder in these negotiations may feel; it is to ask them for their reaction. Some cursory reporting would reveal that this is far from ‘exactly what the players wanted’.”

Incredible

Giannis Antetokounmpo is the third longest-tenured player in the NBA, trailing only Steph Curry and Draymond Green

Do we know what Thanasis wants?

For context, athletes in major-college sports now receive about 22% of their schools’ athletic revenue.

bankbryan.com/NBA is updated to reflect today’s news 🤔

Fifteen minutes later, Nick Nurse called timeout in the funniest way I've ever seen.

Nikola Jokic has never played with another All-Star Could Jamal Murray this year be the first?

NBA starter vs bench update - Best bench is Houston - Best starters at OKC - Biggest diff between starters and bench is DEN, though there is competition - Memphis, SAC, and CHI getting more from bench than starters by good amount.

Lawrence Frank’s Final Uncfinity Stone www.nytimes.com/athletic/683...

This sounds like the country’s worst minor league team

Vooch: "We were very soft." Vooch's teammates:

“Maxey’s a well-caffeinated Mach 5 crossed with the Star Gate sequence crossed with uranium-238. His comps are the Concorde, falcons, and the beginning of ‘B.O.B.’ He is the answer to the question ‘Who is the wind?’ He is the answer to the question ‘Who’s in charge here?’” @tylerparker.bsky.social:

Designing a jersey for every Blazers win. Record: 7-9 #RipCity

rebounding so far this NBA season - Donovan Clingan building a career as an offensive rebounder - KAT has transformed himself into a defensive rebounding monster with the Knicks - Duren keeping the Pistons' motor running - what isn't Jokić good at - Gary Trent Jr. does not have time for that

I’ve been doing a better job of updating bankbryan.com/NBA semi-daily this season. Each of the team pages reflect minutes played as well as individual stats for the season to date, and everything feeds into the overall team ranking:

And here's the 2000-01 Kings bonding, though it feels like White Chocolate can sense he's about to get traded and won't get as close to his boys.

“Seasoned Draymond Green Incident watchers could see something burbling over the past few Warriors games. No DGI happens in a vacuum, each is the result of compounded frustration.” @redford.bsky.social:

too much negativity and not enough talk about the grizzlies having the best nba cup point differential in West Group B

“Somehow, a subreddit named in honor of Bill Simmons only exists for his most loyal and devoted fans to make fun of Bill Simmons, with the sort of nativeness and pettiness that can only come from those who’ve soaked up every word the man has said.” @lukewinkie.bsky.social:

imagining scoot henderson saying this every single time someone presses him on his injury timeline

I need you guys to understand just how bad the Brooklyn Nets' defense is

“What I'm scared and concerned about now is you start to get that feeling that I've got so much money that I can't really blow it all. That's the first step in blowing it all.’” @baxterholmes.bsky.social:

“The problem is, a good hard fry can reduce the legibility or clarity of the point. And, so I started backing away so you could see the quote or his face. On the other hand, if the images aren’t a little fucked up, it’s like it’s too good. These aren’t meant to read as pristine.”

The Vision, from The Quest and Achievement of the Holy Grail, by Edwin Austin Abbey, 1901, 📸 by Noah Graham

Good for Andy Pages on getting "championship saving catch" in as a career defining moment before the world heard about "unknowingly foiling gambling plot by swinging at extremely obvious ball"

“That's part of the appeal of private games. For pros, you don't have to fight the masses to get a whale’s money. You do face a much higher risk of getting robbed, cheated, arrested, not paid out, or named as a side character in a podcast investigation 15 years later.“ @stephnoh.bsky.social:

MY EYES