my mate Jim nearly saw Tom Jones's foot once

Ruin two bands by combining them: The Bee Geese

SALAD CREAM SALAD CREAM no you fuck off

❌️ Jesus ✅️ a readymade club of bigots whose idea of forgiveness is looking the other way while he does further reprehensible shit

Found more than we bargained for on today's woodland walk.

and I always thought "chocolate submarine" was a euphemism

mry chrsms you filthy animals

Here's #aoty list

TRI ANG LES

Made some glass. Not convinced about the big dark smear.

next: Windows Device Settings 2025 Recap

Funny. Binned Spotify this year anyway.

apologies to @fubsyshabaroon.bsky.social

"The perfect romantic gift"

standing astride a drain cover in Deptford showing off her pants

doing a glass

that's my Saturday sorted

everyone's at it Broadcast Biosphere Low 16 Horsepower New Model Army

saved you a click

Mr Blobby portrait on a gold painted piece of wood. **UK sales only** For postage select large letter woolbotherer.sumupstore.com/product/mr-b...

fucking hell Scotland

Seasonal marketing post! Print stocks replenished, creepy Christmas cards now available individually (though not THAT many, so don't hang about if you really want a horrible Marley card) and Advent calendars still available (inc free Borley Xmas card!) sarahcoomershop.etsy.com

Something something Brexit something

Excellent birthday present from @squeezy.bsky.social who has been taking advantage of my oblivousness to sneakily work away in her studio

Have just noticed that one of the main things taking up space on my phone is a 25-minute video of the inside of my coat pocket from 4 years ago

One of the best things I've heard this year, aptly unsettling doom from @blackknoll.bsky.social and @penelopetrappes.bsky.social irisarri.bandcamp.com/track/repris... youtu.be/fcot_TVLzDY?...

French krautrock! two drummers! one kick drum! two simultaneous measures! shouting! Little House on the Prairie! www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB6b...

This is what every tech company advert looks like now

TIL 'nonce' is short for 'non-prince'

- Charles & Eddie's 'Would I Lie To You?' is about her - has repellent alter-ego 'Sweary Mary Berry' - features in 86% of jigsaw puzzles made in Vietnam - mostly bipedal - left thumb is formed in the shape of a meter cabinet key

Listening to a podcast yesterday about Eyam, where in 1665 lots of people fell ill after the delivery of a bundle of cloth, and was reminded of my similar experience of mysteriously falling ill after the delivery of 300 stroopwafels.

Heck of a photofit on an old Crimewatch.

In an uncharacteristic turn of events, I'm sorting out Christmas stock early (for me - apparently 'the normals' do this sort of thing months in advance). Behold, my shiny trinkets. Long, tedious hours at the saw and diamond polisher await as I get these ready to be made into necklaces.

I miss AI Brendan

Meanwhile in Cornwall

Well my typewriter is working Just Fine Thankyou

Been tinkering in the workshop with @nibus.bsky.social, evidently I'm going through my Blue Period

In the workshop where @squeezy.bsky.social is using up offcuts of glass to excellent effect

this has absolutely killed me

Facebook becoming black market for 'carpet dust'

Bullseye: "freighted with centuries of misery"

THE SENTINEL WAITS FOR PASSING MEATS

'Granny's fallen! What do we do?!' *types into phone 'granny fallen, what do we do* AI: 'remove granny safely from floor using hair method, check tumsy for stab wounds, put her in small bath of water at 80⁰C, let greeny rast, return her to hutch'

Worst Bilbo Baggins tribute speech ever

Yesterday my etsy shop had preciously one view. (And i think that was probably me) If you like my stuff please repost. An eccentric millionaire with lots of empty wall space could be scrolling your timeline right now. marswasrubbish.etsy.com/listing/1579...

How corporations work: client wanted to change spelling (one letter!) of *one word* in their UI - now 9 people are involved and I've had to write them all a 500-word email.

Writers should simply put every unnecessary word in parentheses, for those of us who want to ingest the information quickly.

LET'S FUCKING GO

Describe your Bluesky account in a single image.