Into his 68th hour of watching LIVE GRAVY FROM CARSHALTON on ITV3+1

TBH after a rough day I just like a cup of tea and a mint Club, not 'suddenly' 90 minutes of watching myself flirt very competently with dead but photorealistic Marilyn Monroe

The British commentariat once again exposing the massive problem with alcohol that we as a society have is it? Sneering at Zack Polanski for wanting to legalise drugs yet claiming it is MPs' human right to be bladdered at work? Come the fuck on.

Garden curated by @squeezy.bsky.social has come alive this week

Well this is... something

top quality OCR there, thanks Acrobat

FUCK YES (slight return) www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9h6...

Photoshop is £22/month

- tried to steal a military aircraft - planted a fake bomb on a (different) military aircraft - watched a military plane crash - heard a (different) military plane crash - stole a minibus - stole a 1-ton tipper truck and crashed it into a tree - set a building on fire all before I was 17!

Our feeds

'You've got to hold and give, but do it at the right time You can be slow or fast, but you must get to the line They'll always hit you and hurt you, defend and attack There's only one way to beat them, get round the back'

You say you hate the swamp woman What the hell are you on about? Do you even know the difference Between a swamp and an ancient bog? In a bog you are pickled, in a swamp you would decompose

FUCK YES

at least while bsky was down I did some important work

Specifically 'Flying Teapot' at 9m30s

Figleytobis

Happy Aphex Twin day! Here's a very damp version www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Wq...

not often all the trending topics are actually famous chess gambits

Deezer's "20s Hits" collection has thrown me - no Al Jolson, Bessie Smith or Jelly Roll Morton

I have no idea why Egyptian literature never really took off amongst me and my internet chums.

HURRAH

like clockwork

"If you were in charge of Star Trek what would you do?" Tuvix effect continues until the entire crew merges into one remaining entity

Mysterious apparent Boards of Canada posters up in Soho, the fans are having the hububjubs over on Reddit

"He was spotted suspiciously close to an open window in Downing St"

did not have US THREATENS TO BOMB POPE on my bingo card bingo cards are going in the bin

god i'd love a load of massive cakes

Something something most moral army something

Can't believe we can fly people 250,000 miles away from Earth but Bluesky can't handle a photo of a pigeon wearing a helmet

fixed the legs just in time for the death of the metaverse

hey whats your favourite consumable you most look forward to using mines the after-barbecue log

BEWARE! COMBINE HARVESTER!

He's left us an Easter special!

Entertaining @scarfolk.bsky.social take on the Borley Rectory hauntings. It's to be found in 'The Scarfolk Annual 197*' which also includes imaginative and spot-on skits on the publicity which surrounded the Enfield Poltergeist case in the 70s. #PhantomsFriday #poltergeists #Scarfolk #satire #humour

"This piece is based on a scale of twelve tempos analogous to the chromatic pitch scale, it's called ORLROIT BAB OW AM YA"

CAPTION SAYS DICE BRAIN SAYS BISCUITS

They should respond to US aggression through the proper channels such as voting, writing to their MP (nothing rude!) or protesting using approved language.

BBC taking the piss with this story

RE: RE: UPDATE REQUIRED RE: RE: FWD: RE: RE: RE: FWD: RE: RE: URGENT PLEASE READ: Aliens!

Cross-fucntional teams skedaddling when the boss wants a quick word

Luckily I live in a shack in the woods, foraging for beans and cheese, burning my own dung for heat

Watching England play and wondering where they'd sit in the PL. Then wondering what would be the top national v league side without any crossover (e.g. Bayern couldn't play England cos of Kane). Then not caring and thinking about biscuits instead. Biscuits.

Meanwhile in Cornwall/Australia

So, on account of her stroke, my 87 year-old mother's having some speech therapy. The speech therapist, a very proper lady, comes in this morning. 'Why not read some pages out loud from your book?'. So she did...

It's all fine because it's a defensive economic hit

SUDDENLY REBILE the new fragrance with notes of reflux and bile

anyway heres mike batt of wombles fame teaching thatcher how to play tomorrow never knows

Remembering a time when news was entertaining