Just 2 spaces left on my botanical illustration zoom class this Sat. I'll teach you how: ✒️🌿to draw plants & add shading 🧠the neuroscience of how creative activity improves mental health I trained as a molecular cell biologist & am a professional illustrator: workshops.emmamitchell.uk/courses/bota...

Found more than we bargained for on today's woodland walk.

Christmas demons assembled. Have a marvellous time, you bunch of absolute wrong'uns.

calling all literary translators - does anyone want to talk to me (on the record) about their gendered experience of **working as a translator** including e.g. the pay gap and the motherhood penalty?

MARI LWYD CHARITY AUCTION UPDATE Yesterday’s wonderful arrival from @slipperyjack.bsky.social is finally on the preview site! Please visit all the entries here! skullsandsheetsauction.wordpress.com

Happy birthday, @nibus.bsky.social. congratulations on being best and well done on having a nice face, it is a very good face.

I make unique hand made Cat Sofas >>> craftysharp.etsy.com But do cats really use them? Well let’s ask some of my feline customers … 🧵 Gretchen and Amy say yes…

I'll teach you how to alleviate anxiety & lift your mood by re-introducing creative activity into your weekly routine. I've appeared on BBC Autumnwatch taught workshops on BBC Countryfile & at the Victoria & Albert & Bronte Parsonage museums & my bio's in the photos below: workshops.emmamitchell.uk

Financial necessity forces me to go on Vinted to sell my wares. I'm going to be reminded of the many reasons I avoid people at all costs, aren't I? I'm also going to be required to fucking iron. I haven't ironed anything since 2003.

In an uncharacteristic turn of events, I'm sorting out Christmas stock early (for me - apparently 'the normals' do this sort of thing months in advance). Behold, my shiny trinkets. Long, tedious hours at the saw and diamond polisher await as I get these ready to be made into necklaces.

Been tinkering in the workshop with @nibus.bsky.social, evidently I'm going through my Blue Period

Jesus Christ, the cunts are out in force today, I see. I might as well go on arsing Facebook.

After a protracted period of everything being fucking terrible for us personally, as well as all the awful shite going on more widely, please share in this little corner of happiness with us. Behold this pair of furry twats who seem to have finally bonded after 5 months' hard work. #rabbitsarenobs

Pre-orders now open for these gorgeous handmade traditional letterpress Christmas cards. Shipping at the start of November. Free shipping in the UK. Pre-order deal: One extra card FREE with each pack of five!

Hello, it me.

NOTHING will prepare you for this 45-second story arc. From "I'm just doing this because I love the flag, it's totally grassroots, and I'm not part of anything political"... to who actually gave him the flags the night before. Anyone who believes it is an innocent movement needs to see this.

Not sure what it is about my LI profile that suggests I'm in the market for 'Acoustical Control, Non-Structural Seismic Protection and Vibration Isolation'. I don't have any projects currently 'where noise could be a concern'. Shall I reply 'I done a noise from my bum lol' and see what he says?

I've just remembered I'm about to send my CV to someone who's asked me to, and they may well ring me. Answering the phone is worse than initiating a call. Hopefully they'll think I'm shit and not worth the effort.

I've made several important phone calls today. If you know me, you know about my phobia of speaking on the phone. Please congratulate me for being brave, or I will cry.

Turns out I can earn more an hour as a Pasty Crimper in Bodmin (no experience: £12.50/hr), than I can as a translator (20 yrs' experience: £4.60/hr). Pasty Crimpers also get free pasties and bonus weekly fruit. I'm honestly considering it because, fuck me, it feels like we're on a sinking ship atm.

Fuck Linehan and fuck any news outlets framing his hate as "activism" or "just saying" or "debating". Trans women are women, trans men are men, trans rights are human rights.

“Got treated like a terrorist lads” “Tell us what happened lad” “Got accused of encouraging violence on Twitter” “Yea but why” “I was encouraging violence” “On Twitter?” “Yeah it was on Twitter”

The only reason that Wesley Streeting, the health secretary, would have for speaking out about freedom of speech and excessive policing in the case of Graham Linehan and not the hundreds of people arrested for supporting Palestine Action, is that he supports Linehan and violence against trans people

Losing work means I've been forced to go back on LinkedIn. I fucking hate LinkedIn to the very core of my being. I am now a LinkedIn Wanker full of even more self-loathing than I ever thought possible. I've also had to scrub the dates off all my quals on account of being a really old bastard.

These entrepreneurs who're all like 'losing my job was the best thing to ever happen to me. I sold my wife and kids to fund *my terrible idea* and now I'm richer than you could possibly imagine, you bunch of sad povvos'. Anyway, I've got this idea, it's called the ArmsUnder™. Anyone want in?

I sometimes see posts from people saying they're not sure about "trans issues", or don't want to express an opinion because they don't know enough about it. This short 🧵 is intended to help and encourage those people who are sitting on the fence, perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing. 1/

There are archaologists who have been digging for literally decades who haven't found anything this cool who are going to enjoy reading this article ;) "Student strikes gold 90 minutes into first dig" www.bbc.com/news/article...

You know, being told you're over-qualified for roles time and time again isn't the confidence boost you'd think it would be, especially when you're really fucking desperate to just pay your bastard bills.

I always think of the time the ex-comedy ex-writer wrote "There’s no great trans creators of music"

Wow, it seems like the annoying white, middle-class yoga moms were right, all I needed to do was ask the universe to provide. Look! An almost 10,000% increase on last week's 'generous' PO. The Milky Bars are on me, kids. FML.

Going to try a thing where for my daily self promotion posts, I highlight 4 things from the back catalogue. nora.jewelry Links to individual pieces are in follow up post.

Delighted to find out that salaries in my sector are exactly the same as they were 23 years ago. Some are even lower. Fucking depressing. Anyone else notice salaries in their field haven’t budged in decades?

Enormously profitable global company just sent my latest PO.

Hello, I am a cute dog, or maybe an adorable cat, in any Netflix production you've ever watched, I dunno, it doesn't matter anyway because I'm inevitably going to die horribly, so don't get attached

If anyone would like one of these solely for the price of postage (& a bit extra of your choice but no problem if not), please email me and Jim at [email protected] and let us know your address. Stephen Fry called this book "hilarious" but what does he know? Don't trust him. Give it a go yourself.

Right, it's my birthday so I'm going to skive off today and have a wander round the parks. I'm still pushing to make August rent and replace my phone, so who wants to take home a little magic? oishiny.etsy.com Fidget pendants have just been updated! #Handmade #DisabledArtist

My hair's been falling out. I used to have tons of hair, and I've lost about 30-40% of it in the space of 6 months. Can anyone recommend a topper or halo that might match dark red hair while I wait for the next 160 years for it to grow back? DM if you'd rather, ofc. Thanks chaps, it's making me sad.

Lxds, do me a favour and sign/repost this please. We need a boost Petition - Call on Westminster to give carers the legal right to a break share.google/rfATvbZmG7RK...

Another one for the merfolk, gorgeous little ocean blue glow: oishiny.etsy.com/listing/4335... Who wants to snap this up for summer? #Handmade #ShopIndie

Wondering what on earth I can retrain as at my age, because seriously kids, don't become a translator/interpreter - You'll spend 8+ years studying to postgrad level and you'll get clients who think offering you 25p to do a job is absolutely reasonable, and it's arrogant of you to think otherwise.

I'd normally not touch the holiday cases for at least six months but we wanted to dig out our booty from that lovely human, @werkoderko.bsky.social, there was even more, but it all went in our big, fat, contented tummies.

I haven't posted on Instagram in such a long time and I think I royally cocked it up. Now some people think I've married @nibus.bsky.social, even though we're not into that kind of kinky nonsense.

We've made it to Lille. I've needed a wee since Austria.

So, German 'efficiency' turns out to not be a thing at all. It's all a filthy lie. We still love you, the Germans, but sort your friggin trains out.

I want all our pals to see this because I can't convey just how kind and generous @werkoderko.bsky.social is. She drove from home to the train station to meet us for probably 60 seconds to give us some beautifully prepared snack boxes, along with all sorts of food and drink to take home to the UK.

Can confirm that @werkoderko.bsky.social is as fabulous in real life as she is 'virtually'. It was wonderful to meet one of our favourite people, albeit briefly. And look at all the food she brought us!!! She's bloody awesome and marvellous.

Does anyone have any good advice about writing a successful LinkedIn profile? I deleted my account a while ago because it got on my tits but now I have to go back because potential clients always want to see your LinkedIn creds. I've got to start from scratch, and I hate this sort of thing.

Because a few people have been kind enough to ask: yes, there will be a follow-up to Pagans, with the same main characters, I'm writing it at the moment. Plan is to do a trilogy, which has the appropriate Nordic Noir-ish vibe, then move onto something completely different.

All I wanted was some eyebrow gel, but now I have to plan the invasion of Gaul.

Feeling fancy, gonna treat myself to some ibuprofen.