There are some days weeks months years where I really miss drinking alcohol

It's been a while! still alive but not happy about it

HELL YEAH. WARFIGHTING. LETS FUCKIN GOOOOO dammit we dunked another F-18 off the side of an aircraft carrier

I don't want AI. I want to fake my death and move to italy

This is Dr. Frasier Crane wishing you good MENTAL HELL!!

i bet the vice city manatees win a playoff game before the dolphins

Some beautiful baby girls DO need upwards of 30 dolls.

I forgot to update Bluesky about my new family member, Lucy 😍

Mike Waltz has left the chat.

FUCK THIS NERD

Thank you, I will do what you tell me!

Today was as close as I’ve ever gotten to getting into a fist fight over road rage. I’m still fucking reeling.

If you’ve got an Instagram account, throw me a vote please? I’m in a photo contest that ends today. Comment ‘H’ on this post to vote for me! www.instagram.com/p/DIuricFzhL...

🧢

No reason to take these screengrabs

Getting real better at not getting nauseated after I send any sort of message. Don’t know how I managed to finally succeed at an interview (for a puppy adoption) 👀

fucking horse shit. I learned so much German when this app first started and you could have conversations with other people who were learning at the same pace as you. capitalism ruins everything

I Love Them💙

So literally arbeit macht frei - again Things are going great on earth

When, I ask?

this whole administration is like when they shut off the containment unit in ‘ghostbusters’

I feel like every time I take a deep breath I don't fill up my lungs all the way and it's probably because anxiety is physically filling up a portion of my body. Maybe this guy does exist??

Biking around the lake today

White men annoyed by the whitest white man alive

Hey, quick question. How do I stop feeling like this all the time?

Oh hell yes! Moving to England is looking better and better every day

My dog died on Friday morning and the world has been immeasurably worse every day since.

This world is so painful, I can’t stand it

Welp, it happened. The economy went woke

Looks like the logo for “Frasier” lol

I made soup tonight. Literally had no idea what I was doing except throwing ingredients that go together, but it turned out okay. That’s pretty much the point of soup.

What’s it like living in Miami, you might wonder?

Trichrome closeup because sometimes weed is just fun to look at too.

Pew pew w @zoostation.bsky.social

The people at Disney should just hire me to tell them what movies to make. I could have told you a live action Snow White was going to absolutely eat shit and saved you about 200 million dollars. Just pay me 1 million a year that’s all

what is "the country" if not the people in it? God, please give my cousin's cancer to this man

I love when work errands take me out to the Redlands 🌻

Going to work while having a throbbing pain every 40-50 seconds is exactly as fun as you think it is

It does feel exactly like this lol

I would be ok with it Elon eliminating jobs that do this all day long

I seriously haven't woken up refreshed, happy or energized all year long. 🙃

That Isn’t As Funny As I Thought When I Was High: A Memoir

No one knows I’m lifting weights to Master of the House. That’s my little secret to muscles.

LMAO o RMCS Reí mi culo suelto

I’m up to like 10 spam calls a day now. How do I disable the phone portion of my phone and move to text only?

Liberals will never have a gotcha on conservatives because in order for it to be a “gotcha,” both sides have to agree on a mutual truth Case in point: the stock market. You point out it’s crashing, they tell you the market was overdue for a correction.

Omg it’s the wa wa wa wa song!!! #thewhitelotus

This show moves so slow I can already provide a recap: Lucius Malfoy hangs dong #thewhitelotus

The only reason I use the elliptical after running but before I do strength is because it has a built in fan I point at my face #gymprotips