That looked like the Valencia goal that got Benitez the Liverpool job

France v Spain is pure cinema England v Argentina is the Maury Povich show You can’t look away from EITHER

When you try something dumb as hell on a normal team like five 38 year old dudes raise their arms yelling “pass!!” but like none of yall broke dudes was gonna do anything UNLESS you are an Argentinian soccer player in the World Cup….

Hello from academia

The more Harry Kane’s hair recedes the more he looks like an extra in Van Helsing

I appreciate people trying to provide the context that Norway is way more woke than England but the thing is I just hate England. I’m a Liverpool fan, not to mention an American, I hate all these dudes! And their coach! You don’t have to cite your sources!

Making a bunch of Europeans suffer in brutal conditions for a shot at a trophy is usually only possible at the US Open. Genius for Miami to find a way to get it going again.

there is infinite money for weapons, non-educator vice chancellors of nothingness, and tech-grift corporate welfare but zero money for teachers, libraries, tuition

Morocco was so afraid that entire possession of committing to the attack, inching barely forward with one guy then two then maybe three… because they knew that was coming if they lost it.

they’re calling him the most vindicated man to ever log on

Zico has that dawg in him but Maoush does not, simple as

Egypt’s performance today does show pretty starkly how much of a choke job the USMNT pulled last night. That team isn’t better than the US and yet, look at how they’re handling the best team in the world rn.

Frankly, the worst part of this is all of the “it’s gonna happen for the US they are right there, keep investing in the game” being lathered on by the Fox crew. We’ve been saying this since 2002. We gotta have some self-respect and just admit we are Mississippi State and run the triple.

respectfully, no that is england's. Yours is to crash out in this exact round. You are Mexico with fans who care less

Somebody put the “oh no! disaster” call on this please

Let’s see these Belgian guys try to defend Derrick Henry coming through the A gap

Without Trump I think we would’ve beaten the hell out of this team because they are soft as hell and would’ve quit the second they got punched once. But now, it can be them against the world, playing for pride. They’re gonna want to obliterate us.

Love the dudes from Spain just standing on the edge of the box watching teammates putting in utterly perfect crosses like “damn good run bro sucks no one was there to finish that”

he's simply not ruining it for me. Not letting him and you can too :)

“I don’t want to be part of the narrative” says the man who is cut to by the broadcast director during every single match without fail

Yeah this is the root issue to me: if the “integrity of the game” requires that a key player for a team miss an elimination game for obviously illegitimate reasons reasons then that integrity seems not great! Maybe fix that part!

I feel like the thing that’s getting lost in all of the Balogun appeal dramatics is that it was a ridiculous red card that legitimately should’ve never been given

IMAGINE IF THAT MATCH WAS HOW YOU QUALIFIED FOR THE TOURNAMENT AT ALL!! IMAGINE IF YOU HAD TO DO THAT LIKE EIGHT TIMES LESS BLEUSH!!

This is also what I’m wondering about and yeah man, I think this would be the biggest upset in the history of sports

lol Raul Jimenez can’t be serious with that looney tunes flop

The insane thing about this French team is they could have had Ekitike too

Have absolutely no idea what happens to Canada when they get in the final third but it is like everyone’s feet fall off

I was getting ready to hate on Dr Congo’s finishing and man he said it’s time to operate!

pausa de hidratación

CMON DOCTOR

Man Uzbek’s keeper is SMALL

I see DR Congo are in full goal is lava mode, taking up the Cape Verde mantle

My book has its own ISBN now 🥹🥹🥹🥹

Goal is lava!

Saudi Arabia trying to knock their man out by taking punches directly to the face

Regardless of how this turns out Cape Verde has had an insane amount of touches in the box wherein they were doing the most whack counterintuitive shit you could imagine

Are your kids doing a “pausa de hidratacion”. Look for these warming signs LOL = Lots Of Liquid BRB = Binging Refreshing Beverages LMAO = Licking My Aqueous Orifice ROFL = Really Opening Fluid Libations

Ref let Messi take that last free kick way over time like “shit I wanna watch too yall move”

Me: Look at FORMER ATLANTA UNITED PLAYER Thiago Almada go man! You: are there any other former Atlanta United players at the World Cup? Me: (long pause) so let’s talk more about how great Almada is

meanwhile, across town, samantha had also thrown her party into chaos. and she, too, was looking to make a fast exit.

Abbott: Let me get this straight, Costello: that's what we've been trying to do! Abbott: it's impossible to keep this straight! Costello: precisely!

Gotta win the middle 8 of the hydration break

Messi never scored a hat trick in the World Cup before he joined MLS. Makes you think.

Players unions should demand a Stanley cup style trophy handoff to the captain instead of the owner in the next CBA for every sport man.

Can we just give both Scotland and Haiti three points and keep it moving?

Leaving Vini unmarked in space is a real “well there’s your problem” moment

Through absolutely gritted fucking teeth: this USMNT rules