John Royal
@johnroyal.bsky.social
📤 642
📥 424
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Attorney, Reformed Sports Writer, Uncle
https://johnroyal.substack.com
In fairness to the Aggies, maybe they just think Plato is Mickey Mouse's dog.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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The Human Situation and Me
or, Plato's more than just Mickey Mouse's dog
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/the-human-situation-and-me?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
about 21 hours ago
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John Royal
Mina Kimes
about 24 hours ago
Great day to have functioning eyes and a working brain
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Ken Jennings
about 24 hours ago
The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.
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Democrats
1 day ago
ICE shot and killed a woman on camera today. We all saw the video. The Trump administration is lying.
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We’re Going To Keep The Popehat
1 day ago
We have to demand that Trump’s federal agents are held accountable for killing Americans just like we do when state and local . . . . fuck
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Plato is more than just Mickey Mouse’s dog:
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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The Human Situation and Me
or, Plato's more than just Mickey Mouse's dog
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/the-human-situation-and-me?r=18xmvk&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
1 day ago
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Look, I know just do civil law, but am I crazy in thinking that you just can’t swoop into another country in violation of extradition treaties and take their citizens?
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3 days ago
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Holy Crap, the Texans got prime time on Monday night and not 3:30 on Saturday on Peacock.
4 days ago
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Raffi Melkonian
4 days ago
So like, what if Maduro is somehow acquitted?
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Heard Island Government
5 days ago
Thank you all for your concern, and yes, PM Tuxley II has been moved to a safe location with cell geolocation disabled. He can be marked as “safe from American kidnappers” on social media. Thank you for your inattention to this matter!
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Of course the refs would screw up the end of this game.
7 days ago
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Raffi Melkonian
7 days ago
I give it to 2 o clock for the CDC to declare thick blood a national emergency and demand a Nobel for dear leader’s discovery.
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I choose art and I salute all of those who are able to create something from nothing. It's not easy, and it's not supposed to be easy.
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8 days ago
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On a personal note, I absolutely hated 2025 and I can't wait for it to disappear back into the depths of the Hell from which it emerged.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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Good Riddance to 2025
Off to Hell you go
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/good-riddance-to-2025?utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web
8 days ago
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Dear ESPN, thanks for the Lane Kiffin fluff. Sure UH just scored pretty easily on LSU, but why bother with the actual game being played?
12 days ago
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Just some guy
14 days ago
Lots of reasons to enjoy Die Hard’s seasonal popularity, and one is a nice reminder that not too long ago it was a-ok to portray most cops as bumbling doofuses and federal agents as ginormous failures. This can be ours again.
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I ran into an old friend at Kroger's the other day. The only problem, that friend has been dead for several years.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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Seeing Doppelgängers in the Kroger's Checkout Lane
or, On Life, Death, and Bob Fosse's All That Jazz
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/seeing-doppelgangers-in-the-krogers?r=18xmvk&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
16 days ago
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The people responsible for the Home Alone parody deserved a huge bonus from Lorne Michaels because that’s the only thing on SNL tonight that has been funny.
19 days ago
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Senator Ron Wyden
20 days ago
The Epstein file is the only thing Trump has ever taken his name off of
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The comedy legacy of Carl and Rob Reiner will be felt for generations.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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The Circle of Laughter: On Carl and Rob Reiner and TV and Film Comedy
or Carl and Rob and Mel and Albert and Dick and Steve and Bob and Mary and James and Garry and Penny and so on and so on
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/the-circle-of-laughter-on-carl-and?r=18xmvk&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
20 days ago
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Is he proposing the Hunger Games?
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21 days ago
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Houston Mayor John Whitmire sees absolutely nothing wrong with this. He is fully onboard with all that is happening.
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22 days ago
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It’s easy to forget how funny Rob Reiner could be, especially after he hit it big as a director. But here’s a clip of him on Letterman promoting The Sure Thing with a very special appearance from his best friend Albert Brooks.
youtu.be/S9UKlgvFnFI?...
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Rob Reiner (& Albert Brooks) on Letterman February 28, 1985
YouTube video by Don Giller
https://youtu.be/S9UKlgvFnFI?si=pq6j-0G5WD-1yCwh
25 days ago
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Oh fuck, now Rob Reiner and his wife? My god what an awful weekend this has been.
25 days ago
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These three idiots go to London, a true story of laughs and peril.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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These Three Idiots Go To London: A True Story
It Was a Beautiful Trip, Even if I Did Get Covid
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/these-three-idiots-go-to-london-a?r=18xmvk&utm_medium=ios
about 1 month ago
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Christina Kahrl
about 1 month ago
Jeff Kent is, without a doubt, the first person sent to Cooperstown who said his truck jumped him during an innocent car-washing domestic situation. And probably the last, but never say never.
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I was lucky enough to witness a citizenship ceremony on Ellis Island. That was one of the most uplifting things I’ve ever experienced. I can’t believe this is how we’re treating people who truly want to be U.S. citizens.
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about 1 month ago
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Memories from a holiday long ago where I was sick and unable to partake in all of the fun and joy.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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Got A Lot On My Head: Memories From A Thanksgiving Long Ago
or, memories of surgeries past
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/got-a-lot-on-my-head-memories-from?r=18xmvk&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
about 1 month ago
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I know Alabama/Auburn is the big game, but the USC/UCLA game is a beautifully gorgeous uniform matchup.
about 1 month ago
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No ESPN, no. I don’t have to consider a 3-loss UT team as a playoff team. It’s bad enough Notre Dame is a shoo-in, but that doesn’t mean I have to now consider a team that lost to Florida.
about 1 month ago
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Mike Finger
about 1 month ago
Steve Sarkisian is about to do some politicking that will put Mack Brown to shame.
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So the question is: Are Aggies gonna Aggie or is Sark gonna Sark?
about 1 month ago
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Dear Kirk Herbstreit, please SHUT UP when the official is talking, especially when the official is calling out the penalty. You have the entire rest of the game to spout off your nonsense.
about 1 month ago
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MRI machines terrify me. So of course I had to get an MRI this week.
open.substack.com/pub/johnroya...
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Tom Cruise May Have Dove From 120 Feet and Held His Breath for Six Minutes, But I Survived a MRI, So Who's the Big Shot Now, Tom? Huh?
or, it's Medical Test Time Again
https://open.substack.com/pub/johnroyal/p/tom-cruise-may-have-dove-from-120?r=18xmvk&utm_medium=ios
about 1 month ago
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AkivaMCohen
about 1 month ago
Now that Thanksgiving is over, we can all focus on the more important things, like acknowledging that Die Hard is a Christmas movie
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Hey! Hey! LBJ! Have you seen this
@lyndonbajohnson.bsky.social
?
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about 1 month ago
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I'm not a Eagles fan, but damn it, did you have to blow a 21-point to the Cowboys?
about 2 months ago
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God, these Fox Sports announcers working this UH/TCU game are awful.
about 2 months ago
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Mayor Whitmire must be pissed off about this.
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about 2 months ago
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Bo Bolander
about 2 months ago
big bugs bunny getting elmer fudd to marry him vibes in the white house currently i see
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Ed Bott
about 2 months ago
Tell me you have never read Hunter S. Thompson without telling me you have never read Hunter S. Thompson.
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Razzball
about 2 months ago
🤔
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David Noll
about 2 months ago
Escape room where the thing you are trying to escape is reading about Olivia Nuzzi
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Trump is going to demand that Roger Goodell cancel Monday Night Football.
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about 2 months ago
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Jorge A. Caballero, MD
about 2 months ago
Terrible day to be literate
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Gopherballs
about 2 months ago
My only takeaway from Georgia-Texas is Sark always looks like he has just been informed the FBI is downstairs.
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This is a really fun story on "Half and Catch Fire," a series set in Texas computer industry in the early-80s that aired back in the 2010s. Hunt it down and watch if you can find it.
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about 2 months ago
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Emily Nussbaum
about 2 months ago
I hereby apologize to Eyes Wide Shut for thinking it was hyperbolic
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Tina Smith
about 2 months ago
These girls were misled and abused by powerful men who thought that the rules didn’t apply to them, that they could get away with anything. There should be justice. Release the files.
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Wait, is that New York Jets owner Woody Johnson mentioned in this email exchange?
add a skeleton here at some point
about 2 months ago
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