Visiting London this weekend. It's chamged beyond all recognition since I lived here. Loads of pubs have Murphy's on tap now

🎵 Mr Potato Head She said "see ya later, head" He wasn't spud enough for her

Waugh, Wodehouse, doorstop historical biographies, Greek and Latin, real ale, scotch, Colman's Mustard, the countryside and the Universities (both of them)

(To the tune of Own Personal Jesus) John Julius Norwich

Today's earworm is 'Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have a Penis' but to the tune of 'Kansas City' from Oklahoma!

Nice lily you've got there. Be a shame if someone were to gild it

I thought the funny little horses were a nod to that study that made a splash a few years ago. Then I realised it was filmed in Iceland and they just used whatever ponies were to hand

All Fours by Miranda July is really fun, like if Patricia Lockwood wrote an Updike novel, but much more like if Miranda July wrote a Miranda July novel

Today's earworm is 'Isn't it Awfully Nice to Have a Penis' but to the tune of 'Kansas City' from Oklahoma!

My high school guidance counselor told me that if somebody is making me angry I should change their name to Higgins Piggins in my phone

I said I fancied doing an evening class, so my wife booked me on an "Eat Like A Snake” course. That'll teach me to open my big mouth.

The Star were so close to doing a solid headline here, but they seem to have bottled it? Why? IP reasons? Formatting

It's like raaaaaaiiiiiiiiiin on St Swithin's Day

Been listening to Bertrand Russell's History of Western Philosophy and it's been an absolute joy. He writes with such wit and charm, even when he's being a bitch.

[Killing Me Softly voice] Chessington World Of Adventures

I’m taking over as the menswear guy. Men should rotate through the same four band t-shirts for 35 years. Replace the shirts with identical shirts if the holes in them get big or you get too fat for them

Ooh! I've just read a contemporary novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy. Really darkly funny and well observed, but also an interesting study in isolation and irrationality. Made me slightly more empathetic for a couple of days, just like people say novels do

Bad news everyone: I've listened to the version of Messy by Lola Young that isn't the radio edit and I'm afraid it's a Don't Marry Her by the Beautiful South situation

Bad news everyone: I've listened to the version of Messy by Lola Young that isn't the radio edit and I'm afraid it's a Don't Marry Her by the Beautiful South situation

Clearly a human

inspired by a recent conversation, I present to you: my latest bluesky entertainment. It’s a simple game called “Adrian Chiles or Adrian Mole?” The only rule is no googling. There are no polls here, so you’ll have to “like” one of the comments below. ready?

Ooh! I've just read a contemporary novel that I thoroughly enjoyed. It was Soldier Sailor by Claire Kilroy. Really darkly funny and well observed, but also an interesting study in isolation and irrationality. Made me slightly more empathetic for a couple of days, just like people say novels do

🎵 I don't care if Monday's grey Tuesday, Wednesday's also grey Thursday too is also grey It's Friday I'm a dog

Don't worry. They're all at my house shitting on the Velux

Brb. Just breeding Lilacs out of the dead land

If only there were some kind of invitation we could rescind

Giving access to SSNs, other data on government employees to non-employees like Musk is a violation of 5 USC 552a, and carries with it a penalty of $1000 per person whose data was accessed. We are building a case. Govt employees who want to participate should contact me directly

Listening to the audiobook of THE HOBBIT read by Andy Serkis and when he finally gets to the point where he can whip out the Gollum voice it's like when the drums hit in 'In The Air Tonight.'

I hate Bluesky bcuz of the scroll up button, it is disgusting, i hate it with my life, it does not leave my thumb alone

In the last couple of years, a switch has flipped in my brain so that I now see the D in the Disney logo as a D rather than a weird G or treble clef. Explain that boffins

I hate Bluesky bcuz of the scroll up button, it is disgusting, i hate it with my life, it does not leave my thumb alone

He wanted to buy more books by Ishiguro but couldn't be arsed going to a bookshop. That's when he had an idea

I'm slightly in awe of this opening paragraph of a restaurant review in the Guardian. All I can take it to mean is that Stroud's lack of Londoners is such a problem for everyone there, and that this visit will do so much to mitigate this problem that *everyone* in Stroud will thank the writer.

Nosfertu, why don't you come to your senses? You've been out ridin' fences for so long now

Happy Childermas to all who celebrate!

Watching Wolf Hall