this book is EVERYTHING. run, don’t walk.

don’t think, just click preorder

Check your inboxes! The May issue of The L Byrd has gone out, with a new Queer Theory Made Easy, some musings on this summer's GCLS conference, and—most importantly—a FREE 12k-word spicy short story prequel to Loser of the Year 👀 I'm pretty proud of this one, and I hope you'll enjoy it!

iso: a binaural beats app that has an "it's finals week and i need to calm down before replying to this tone deaf student" setting

GREAT NORTH AMERICAN SCHISM OF 2026, LET’S GOOOOOO

one month until TWFTW day!!! @writingroslyn.bsky.social

SORRY THESE ARE LATE MY THERAPY PENGUIN IS COOPERATING WITH THE FEDS

i went here and everyone knew you

gotta dial it back a little because @averysfriend.bsky.social clearly knows me too well

anyone want me to grab them some bitcoin from this gas station?

this book owns my life and the entire group chat and rightly so because it is EVERYTHING

my friend @cswift13.bsky.social calls it "only birders in the building" and I can't think of it as anything else now

if you think you're ready for this book, no you're not. you're just so unbelievably unprepared.

✨ my handiwork ✨

i think the trick to not aging into an annoying crank is to accept that you're getting dumber without losing your curiosity

only birders in the building is this something?

Aries: Things are looking up! Unfortunately, that's because you're in hell and there is no other direction to look.

Quick timeline cleanse: Lady Catelyn Stark is here to tell you that it’s gonna be okay (though it would be okay a whole lot sooner if she was in charge of everything, not just her current territory).

every evening the cat waits at the front door for her “real parents” to come pick her up, like she could do better than lesbian dinks

Ok, hear me out. A Lord of the Rings re-make, but with these two taking the One Ring to Mordor.

by now @writingroslyn.bsky.social should know what to expect when crowdsourcing book suggestions

Why is there a constant sound of elderly women's voices muttering in an unidentifiable language that's clearly audible in every room of our casino no matter how loud the other noises in the room are? It's quite simple: Renovations.

what are you reading? me:

everyone has a place they refer to as the “samantha mumba sushi restaurant” right?

prepping to enter the most solemn season of the liturgical calendar (bogo filet-o-fish)

just did something social for the first time in months

i love to ask my cat “what are you up to” because i genuinely want to know and feel like the answer might surprise me

Aries: Your personality isn't your fault, but it is your problem.

this week in memes

tell patrick. i want him to know it was me.

happy friday i’m in the holding cell below the BJ’s for attacking the inventory robot

hello 911 i’d like to report a murder

go, birds! (me yelling at the flock of pigeons on my porch)

i threatened to kidnap @writingroslyn.bsky.social’s cat if she didn’t let me read an early draft of this and i cannot overstate what a fucking triumph it is. i will be thinking about this book for the rest of my life.

i wish i could be half as tenacious as jessica from my loan processing team

got a great deal on a new personality! (which should be a relief to anyone who’s met me)

giving up social media except for the allrecipes comment section

2025

celebrated the new year by closing 750 open tabs

Yes, we’ll let you order just a 1/2 pound of butter for dinner if that’s what you’re craving. We don’t judge.

Surely there is a way to make it funny so that I may communicate this very personal thing without experiencing the vulnerability of doing so

merry swiftmas from mostly the cat

the opposite of a hallmark movie where you spend a week with your family in your small, snowy hometown and vow to never return

is this something?

Without downloading any new images where are you mentally?

i am both

“i was born in the wrong era” not me, i love fanfiction and talking to gay people on my phone

a big part of visiting your hometown is learning which of your classmates became realtors

given the number of clarifying questions the woman in front of me at qdoba has asked about corn, there may just be something to this whole alien drone thing