kids at my son’s summer camp are named Oaks and Portland

“You’re feeding starving kids? Name 5.”

I should be able to have an open container in a Waymo, and that’s why I’m running for office #bethechange

"please doc...my dying wish...i just want veins in my quads...I just want to see feathering in my side delts"

they changed the color scheme on my calorie tracker app and i'm not reacting well to it

i think it is great that conservative students functionally work as a volunteer stasi for republican politicians and conservative media

And now mom says ice cream isn’t dinner. What’s going on? What does this mean? Dinner is food and last time I checked, ice cream is food. So what’s this really all about? The answer is simple: power

a video game where you play a detective trying to solve a murder and you only have access to the ChatGPT account of the victim

"based on the best available data, the model reached a sobering estimate: The shift toward vehicles with higher hoods caused about 3,000 deaths from 2016 to 2024. The estimate is conservative in many ways." www.nytimes.com/interactive/...

i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deload week. i fucking hate deloa

"Expecting me to read books and look up words is discriminatory" is for sure a viewpoint that crops up online, and it's very important to make fun of it every time

father's day. if today's heavy — your dad's gone, you're estranged, you wanted to be a dad and aren't, he's here but it's complicated — you're not alone in it. the day's bigger than the cards and the grill photos. US: 988 · UK: Samaritans 116 123

I cannot tell Bryce from #LoveIsland apart from the steamer Ludwig

"no obvious bugs" or "obviously no bugs" which way, western man?

Something I find myself continuously marveling at is the distance the culture has shifted on Israel. Ten years ago they were making democratic candidates apologize for even mentioning the existence of Palestinians or their plight.

lately I've been thinking that what I need out of an LLM is not a general intelligence, but a comparable intelligence. I need a version of myself that I can make work all the time but not have to feed or whatever.

cops got juked out of their shoes lmao

I really need people to understand that Palantir is not an engineering marvel; it is a multi-billion-dollar contractual containment layer wrapped around the world's ugliest legacy open source frankenstack. It's a shitty Snowflake for companies that don't know how to do data engineering.

I bet whoever created the Rabbids gets blackout drunk every time a new Minions movie comes out

powerlifting is cool because it’s like if you took everything that made the gym healthy and made it unhealthy again

the problem with the baby is that she’s so cute that I want to harmlessly compress her into a pill and swallow her, if that makes sense

weird, I was aggressively vaping weed by myself in the dark and now I feel like something bad is going to happen

I use Vimium in Firefox and Chrome to drive the browser, which means pressing 'F' and then whatever key combos show up on the thing I want to click. A disturbing quantity of time the follow-up letters I end up wanting to press are 'AG'

like a hotwife through butter

trying to imagine what donald trump from 2016 would say about donald trump from 2026

tummy going sicko mode today

This Anthropic/White House spat is funny. Anthropic spent months declaring that its model is so powerful at finding bugs it threatens the world's digital infrastructure. The WH says OK it's banned then Now Anthropic and its allies have to say actually you know it isn't "uniquely good" at that stuff

Hewwo, pwincess. Would you care to wisten to some… Angine de Poitween?

Cops kill because violence is their business.

there needs to be a coordinated global effort among democracies to destroy this man's financial and social media empires and leave him impoverished and powerless

IMHO using Claude is best when you're willing to have a bastard's PR etiquette. I'm putting up PRs with 10k lines added and deleted, 5 new features guarded by 7 feature flags, and all the unit tests pass so it'll rock in production

we made the mistake letting my daughter try sparkling water from a can and now whenever she sees a can she points and says “¿agua?” many times it is not agua in the can.

don't make fun of me: Google+

🚨 Feds point to NSPM-7 as basis for charging 15 anti-ICE protesters in Minnesota, alleging ties to "Antifa".

i would like a laptop with only a clit mouse, i will accept a touch pad the size of a postage stamp

god forbid if a mf wanna bite a bit of deer corn 🙄

honestly can't be upset about the Iran deal, good for them. 50 years of antagonisation is worth at least $300B, right?

no matter how good your year is going, none of us are having a better year than Zohran Mamdani

not fighting for what i believe in. nobody wants me doing that, not really, not the way i want to.

incredible discourse, truly no notes

i’m proficient in misreading sentences and writing typos

Rainn Wilson getting mad at woke stuff is funny, buddy your name is Rain with two N’s. You were raised by a yoga teacher and you practice Baháʼí. You don’t get to complain about this shit.

“I asked ChatGPT”- ok well I asked the mycelium and it said to plant more trees and to tell you to return to the forest

Sucks that this 64 year old Rocky & Bullwinkle joke still hits now

Bank robbery adds a dash of volatility to savings accounts.

Journalists have a duty to tell the public that the president and his aides are seriously considering suspending habeas corpus *when it is happening* rather than saving it for a book rollout over a year later

had a massive flare up in planter fascia pain in my left foot after deadlifting such that it was debilitating to walk on. while soothing it, noticed a splinter that turned out to be a 4mm long piece of metal wire that I must have, for lack of a better explanation, deadlifted into my foot.

the real political correctness is that you can’t go on the news and say that this is hick shit