Assembling my CPAP in a hotel room like an assassin, staring out at the restaurant across the street where I see people who also definitely have a CPAP it's like John Wick everybody's packin out here

Drafting Spider-Man on airplane wifi, AMA

About to see One Battle After Another cannot wait to be insufferable about this movie for the next 1-3 years

Lmao wait I just built a version of this

Recently saw an infographic claim the average employee works about 3 hours in an 8 hour day, and I can only imagine that data came from a self reporting survey that only people who work 3 hours a day had time to fill out

Double feature tonight is Sphere and Cube. I should be programming Cannes

Watchin Sphere

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward John Krazynski

Damn they made it look like a dating app for racists

This is what killed James Dobson

Can I get a hubba hubba in the chat

Grist coming to arena, time to get into brawl

I have a hot magic the gathering take and it is that I like the game and enjoy playing it. Also I have a full personality that has nothing to do with magic so if I get annoyed I simply Do Something Else

Considering having some hot takes

Bad news I’m learning more TCGs

Presented without comment

High life, malort, lime cordial, salt tincture. Also did an orange and cinnamon one that rocked

BREAKING: I’ve invented the Spalört

HOLY SHIT JUST SAW THE NEWS SONNY IS COMING TO LAFC

I had one beer at GenCon last night, and boy are my arms tired

#GenCon rules

“May the road rise to meet you” I whisper to myself, riding an escalator

I cannot describe how good it feels to sacrifice 8 lands, and then immediately pull 9 lands to the battlefield and know the exact order of every card in the rest of your deck. #MtgEOE limited rules

I played Magic the gathering yesterday and I’m gonna play Magic the gathering today and then I’m playing Magic the gathering tomorrow and on Sunday I will rest

First time I’ve been interested in Fortnite this marketing is working backwards

Between One Battle After Another and No Other Choice, I am going to have a good rest of the year huh

GRIIIIIIIST

I sound my barbaric Warp over the rooftops of the world

Having a stroke and watching Netflix AMA

the new ad campaign, which features a grandfatherly Colonel Sanders chuckling his way through the restaurant’s controversial new slogan — “Chick-Fil-A can suck my dick” — has quickly gone viral

Given the absurdly cool lands in this set, this will be great to have in draft if you can get it lmao

Listening to Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet. No one told me this mf wrote the banger theme music for Risk II on the PC, hell yeah

Look at the art I got

OBEKA LIKES WARP

There should be a corner at Home Depot where a guy with a table saw will slice you off custom lengths of hot dog from an infinite hot dog coming out of the wall

Ordered an industry sour at the bar and everyone is losing their minds. What’s wrong with y’all, why don’t you like things that taste weird

FourthHammer

Matt and I are sitting next to a first date at the bar and it's going really well

I’m back in Chicago it’s time to post

POV: you’re manning the grill and I’m waiting for a hot dog

Coming back to this. It’s been triple triad control since day 1, deck is busted if you can pilot it

It’s 5am I am in an uber to the airport and I’m thinking about how wizards calling targeting opponents and their stuff “crimes” is a detriment to the game

Upon reflection, the cat in The Long Goodbye is on my list of top 10 all time performances

Triple Triad is so good

Happy birthday to a man who looks great in a hat, a professional hater, the main dude looking good in a muumuu, who has received at least 95 texts from a known Lutheran. Pope Paul IV, I’m looking at you

Plane is descending as we return from Magic Con. Unfortunately, after three days of non stop Magic stuff, I want to play Magic the Gathering

Balatro is autistic solitaire

Bella La Goatse is my new drag name

one does not awaken of a summer morning expecting to say "we stan Glendale," and yet...we stan

Give the photographer the Pulitzer Prize