Citizen Science Report: Before I left for work I put my Brita under my dripping faucet and I'll be damned if it wasn't full when I got home +2 Exp +1 Object Permanence +1 Water

Trying to radicalize my mother in Solvang

Bro please let us enjoy lorwyn

EARLY AND AGGRESSIVE FRONTRUNNER FOR CHICAGOAN OF THE YEAR blockclubchicago.org/2026/01/13/b...

Big Momma’s Housu

Martin Lawrence of Arabia

Fuck how have I never done Merry Gristmas and put a Santa hat on the bug lady

Ahem. Marty Supreme

BURGER LAW - dashare.zone ADMIN

Lmao senators voicemail boxes shouldn’t be able to be full. Get a better system, I got shit to say to Adam Schiff

Just watched In A Lonely Place and it rocks but it’s so funny that in it a screenwriter is able to handily beat up a UCLA football star.

It’s been nice coming back to Of Montreal for the first time since early high school and having a developed enough brain and cultural exposure to go “you’re damn straight I like Bowie”

2026; Classic

Every scene in Megalopoli could be from a Nolan Batman movie

If I had $150 Million, I would simply make the worst “live action” Shrek musical you have ever seen

We are so back

Flashing my green light in complicated strobe patterns, to hypnotize Gatsby into doing my bidding.

90% of bluesky posts, to me

no it’s not just weapons and knowing how to fight, there’s more to it than that. really there’s a whole world of warcraft

Nobody cares, but i had some glasses of sangria at my family’s game night (normie style, flip 7 was an exotic choice) and I am having some #tcg thoughts

My family has asked me to explain 67 to them

the shit I care least in the whole world about is whether the story about the Earl of Sandwich is true. yes it fucking was. my man was playing cards and eating meat with his hands and then he said hold up check this out. you won't believe this shit. bring me some fucking bread & hold onto your hats

No way good for him

Damn Coca Cola ran an AI ad, guess I’m drinking 7up til I die

Quoting Bob Vylan at the Christmas dinner table AMA

Meringue split on my mom’s pie. Call that the pie of Sauron

Found a picture of me chilling out with a toad as a baby, lfg

Desperately need people to learn that apostrophes indicate possession not plurality

I would like to know how much money the US military lost in the 12 months ending in September

begging the media to understand that public services are not businesses and that they should not report that they lose money since that is an intrinsic part of any public service. they cost money, they don’t lose it. that is how public services are designed.

Just made a “back to one” joke that did not land at all with anyone in my family

The Beekeeper 2: This Time It’s for Beekeeps

I’m in the city of hot dogs thinking about hot dogs

emotional maturity is not looking at your opponent's graveyard when you mill them

Bad news for my haters, (Ray): I have learned about Boros Fury Shield

A Star Wars themed proctologist office called The Perineum Falcon

Turns out you haven’t lived until you’ve heard 4 trad musicians tearing up They Not Like Us on fiddles and let me tell you I am ALIVE

Who wanna get really into darts

AI is inherently unable to translate. It can at best transliterate. This is the sacrifice of art on the altar of the bottom line and an insult to translators and writers alike. Give an LLM Finnegan’s Wake and see what happens. Eat shit @harpercollins.bsky.social I’m done buying your books

Truly insane that the end of each installation of the Magic story doesn’t have a link to the next episode

Should I make a Lorwyn deck this is actually a “lore win” deck and it’s sagas and alt win conditions and Jesus Christ my brain is worms

Just saw a gay bar with Wednesday set as Pokémon card trade night. American bars this is how we get the youth back

Becoming a Bruce Springsteen fan to promote that specific kind of straight guy

THE BEST TO EVER DO IT

Are there other sports like darts that you can do at the absolute full professional level in your apartment? Not esports

My phone keeps autocorrecting darts to farts and to be fair that would be a compelling world championship

Now is a good time to answer the question I keep getting asked - yes the Colts did ask me to come serve as their QB1, but I already had a vacation planned so I put in a good word for my old friend Phil. Glad he’s getting out of the house

View out my window is real welcome to Ireland vibes