if i was a shrimp i would probably krill myself

me n my girls might be the next beatles the way we jack off together

dogs are so autistic dawg like imagine you get too overwhelmed or excited and i just make noises

(to the tune of chief keef - laughing to the bank) arf arf arf arf arf arf i’m barking to the park like arf arf arf

we need to have a Better Seattle Polycule

I've been very vocal about putting balls in my mouth today

chopped stones in a chopped glass house

computer makes my head hurt

as soon as i walk in the party im looking for someone to autistically infodump to

heard some guy say “they never break, they just become stairs” while on the escalator

im at the bar 6 drinks deep trying to explain to a girl who viper rapper is

i start to get very cisphobic when both of the all gender restrooms at work are in use

does anyone know the cure for not being able to shut up while also overthinking everything i said the next day

trans girls getting fucked up and fucking around on the dj decks is the equivalent of dudes getting drunk and freestyling over type beats

this guy appeared in my dream there was a little plush of him but he was smoking crack instead

they're putting a body of water on my jeans

twitter brainrot is as bad if not worse than 4chan brainworms

the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea is i’ve never seen a garbanzo bean on bluesky

uber driver just ran a red light he’s real as fuck for that he’s getting a big tip

(stunna boy voice) i got jalapeño on my dick i’m burning my dick right now

dj at the bar played a bbno$ song and transitioned into a gangnam style mashup i got up and left

couples costume ideas

why does everyone gotta have beef yall need to love more and fuck harder

for halloween next year im gonna be sexy projared

Drink a Lot of Water, Piss a Lot of Pee

15mg adderall no breakfast

gay sex

i just had a dream that elon musk and some conservative furry developer created a y combinator clone and for some reason elon was sending me porn

there are holes in my sheets because i grind in my sleep

i need my back blown smoove out

the cybertruck covered in furry stickers has appeared in my dreams on two separate occasions

@localthunk.com can you add a 67 joker pls

lesbian sex is just sex to me

im investing in the S&P 500 (sex and penis 500)

i squeeze base to tip yet i still drip

I'm non-binary in the urinal. like yeah bro I piss loud

I won’t get in any car with a usb port

gotta wake up early to fuck up everything all over again

i’ve been attaching heavy weights to my nut sack with some string for 30 mins a day to stretch em out so i can have a deeper pussy when i get bottom surgery

Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets

feel like this

Siri post this for me. Moisturizing ur legs after shaving in the shower is one of the greatest pleasures in life, second only to having ur ass eaten or eating ass. Thank you siri

imagine the piss arcs you could get on that thing

blessings from @user097407798 on tiktok

they say Wallace touch Gromit thats why he quiet

i’m getting basiliskshots from roko

just friends..?