I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooong midface

I'm uhhhhh ummm I'm playing silent Hill book of memories

"You have no evidence for me being stupid other than the things that I say" - @embr.dog

some of the greatest comedy acts of our time have come out of riyadh, for instance, 9/11

there needs to be a suicide hotline where they help you workshop the bit

US Open of #Mountainbiking - Killington, Vermont #mtb #mountainbike https://youtu.be/Nj_yFnoUKR8?si=aXq_2rlCm8WzHdCs

oi bruv, don’t go neckin’ that paracetamol and oestradiol; you’re meant to hoof it off me bollocks like a cheeky line of beak innit

I see him everywhere

this is shockingly parallel to that unfortunate time 7 ladies in green power ranger cosplay cranked their shit on me and i didn’t get hard the whole time, and then i learned all of our deadnames were william :/

I keep saying where my zain at and no one can give me a straight answer ...

Always a long day and never a dong lay cmon bruh fml

Dude I was having sex with this girl and when I pulled out she shit a brick

Just mogging @zainites.bsky.social and their one limp bill...

I had a teacher who kept telling my class that you have to be really really smart to get the lowest possible score on the SAT cause you have to know to avoid the correct answers, and that mindset has really informed my approach to posting

They're calling me the Milwaukee blower...

Went on a coffee date with this girl - things were going peachy until she called me thin skinned Really made my shit drupe... I was feeling like a stone fruit...

@governor.ca.gov you should become the governor of sucking my balls

meanwhile on the handbasket:

Damn I'm on my willow shit: Gen can we have sex?

BREAKING: Florida cop treated for autism after exposure to tylenol during traffic stop

FUN TV FACT: Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" was named after how often I think about killing my self

My dad called me to let me know that I have nothing to worry about from the government and kept accidentally calling Charlie Kirk Eric Andre...

11. I beg you to unmute this one like genuinely this is the worst audio I've heard

white ppl when they go to sweetgreen and order falafel

Me when I get asked what's at the end of my American legs

burger nation

i’d rather die than be censored, almost every time i’ve stopped being friends with someone it’s because they think they should be able to control what i say

This guy gets it

Dog girl this cat girl that If I were a bike girl would you give me a brake job?

i can do anything

coffee turns me into some kind of beast... 😏🫦�

They just tear-gassed us. They tried to run us over in a van holding a peaceful protester. They shot us with pepper balls. They dragged another protester into the facility.

Any chasers with a nice crawl space or attic and a clean digital footprint looking for a really quiet roommate? I can be your Tranne Frank...

sometimes all we can do is keep putting one hand in front of the other. do not despair. rather, hope all things. kierkegaard

after the recent pregnancy scare they’re calling me ‘trans alec baldwin’ because i really thought i was shooting blanks..

They're saying I'm a mile the way I've posted 5280 feet

i am starting to think im more normal than i thought

everyone you don't know personally on the internet is a bot and should be treated as such

youtube poop ice block

Jackson Goldstone - #UCI #Downhill #WorldCup #Lenzerheide Course Preview #mtb #mountainbike #mountainbiking youtu.be/vg0vWYMr8ls?...

guys if you fw me get really into bikes right now

Jimmy Fallon Executed After Ending Show's 20 Minute Moment of Silence for Charlie Kirk 8 Seconds Early

there's no contradiction between "hating trans people" and "wanting to fuck trans people". have you guys heard what men think of women

He pitched a cherry Kirk flavor with extra drippy sauce and they pushed him out 😞😞😞

Going to the movies isn't even worth it to me unless I'm getting a big soda and a bucket of grokporn

i’m very excited to literally birth a new conservative talking point after i get third place on a few of the women’s leaderboards on Strava for Pooping

the actual solution is pogroms for chasers but we could never do that because society would literally collapse

i want what they had

say what you will about trans people but who else has pussy so good it even has a hater like charlie kirk gushing