Trossard had the hardest paper round in all of mainland Europe - Fact.

Tonight’s effort. A beef bourguignon. Get in my belly!

Slow cooked ham, honey mustard glaze. Quick blast in the air fryer… Canny sandwiches incoming!

Sick of the winter blues. I needed something to look forward to…. 3 weeks seems reasonable.

Scuffed that…

My internet has been down all day. There is no God, it’s confirmed.

A look at how much TV money each club has earned from the UEFA competitions after the conclusion of the league phase. Includes figures for the Champions League, Europa League and Conference League.

Some serious darts on show here. Wow.

On form in the run up to this final Humphries should have this. Littler’s had time for a sports kebab though before the final. Should be a decent watch. 🎯

Funny old game…

Decent run chase on in the cricket for those that way inclined. Even if not, it’ll be more exciting than Gary Neville…

The should do big funerals at the Tottenham NFL-dome. It can hold a canny silence. Jesus.

I feel as though me, the Beckhams and the my fam move in different circles, if they think Brooklyn's mum dancing weird ruined the wedding. I've been to a wedding where the bride's mother got her tits out and punched the cake.

My dry January was more of a Tsunami so I’m going to do dry February. Until lunchtime.

Liverpool - Newcastle = PSR. That equation, friends, is the difference. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. That is all. #nufc

Mac Allister make me think the Falklands was probably worth it in the end. Little cunt.

Burn’s got Ekitike in his pocket. He’s just got the wrong pants on. We’ve all done it. #nufc

First half summary

He’s one of your own x

Great game and a fight. Lovely stuff, spoiling us here.

Plan B is now Plan A. Makes sense tbf, I’m a Football Manager aficionado so my opinion is valuable. #nufc

Why hasn’t Palmer trademarked his haircut?

Watching the darts on ITV. It’s interesting how the advertising dynamic shifts from when it’s on sky. Instead of being encouraged to gamble my life away I’m now convinced my home is going to be burgled and I need to give more to charity.

My extreme recency bias says Willockinho is worth at least £80m. #nufc

Having had porridge for breakfast all week (as I’m a good boy) I’m about to eat half a 🐖 with melted blue cheese in a tasty ciabatta. I just need to muster the strength to get out of bed first.

Update: mission accomplished ahead of time. Sometimes I amaze even myself.

Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Sausage(s)

I just saw someone post a great quick review of the documentary, Melania. "If Melania was shown on an airplane, people would still walk out..." Heh...

Friday goal: finish work and do some shopping in time for the cricket at 1:30pm. Then get a bit pissed while cooking curry. Challenge accepted.

Job interview tip: Show you’ll give 110% by pouring 10% too much water into your glass. Smile knowingly.

Have you ever seen a mackem in Azerbaijan? That draw would be bad in my opinion, based solely on travel time for the team during an already mental amount of games. #nufc

My head is a tad sore. But it was worth it. That game reminded me of why I love football, and #nufc

I agree on all fronts, especially Ramsey. He probably felt some pressure to prove himself at that level. He did, against a midfield that must be a fucking nightmare to play against! The Villa people I know on here said he’s decent (when fit). Echoes of us having to sell Anderson for FFP bollocks.

I’ve got no business having another beer on a school night José is on TNT soon talking about their game.

Think all of us would have sold an organ to be as close as we’ve ended up to some decent company. I fancy us over 2 legs against most. Naturally, I don’t know who that could be. I’m old school champions league, not the Super League in disguise. #nufc

A night in Paris. Proud of every single player. That could have got uglier that a mackem bride early doors. #nufc

Reckon we’ll get at least one chance.

Next time we let Vitinha shoot I may have a coronary.

Holy shitballs. Pinch my nipple and call me Julie. #nufc

This reminds me of the time I saw a lion rape a sheep on National Geographic. #nufc

Drink.

Pope is dope.

Elanga hatrick incoming. Yes, I’ve had a couple of a couple…

Eddie is clearly channelling his inner Mohammed Ali here. We’re going to try and ‘Rope-a-Dope’ them. Interesting. Well, that’s one word for it… #nufc

I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good. Stay free

Time to start getting comfortably numb ahead of the match tonight (it helps). We’ve got a puncher’s chance against this ‘cheval’. You never know (but you kind of do). #nufc

This is the BEST explanation I have seen so far.

Can’t park there mate. I admire his ambition though.

Drink pints of wine and eat only cheese. You’ll be canny. #nufc