Sitting alone at my desk and saying "because we live in a society" aloud just in case I am being observed

People don't say Merry Christmas anymore. They say, "New Summoning Salt video."

They're rapidly running out of things to call DEI

He's just like me fr

Gavin Newsom's entire approach to 2028 seems to be carefully calibrating the big racism dial

She'll be on CBS in less than a year

BREAKING: Supreme Court agrees to review "that Friday feeling."

Boldly going where no man has gone before: The same place dozens of other shows have already gone repeatedly

Having some afternoon coffee

This wasn't a particularly good talking point back in 2023 when there was real urgency among Zionists to silence and discredit pro-Palestine voices. For Hilldawg to still be repeating it in the big 2025 feels like rudderless boomerposting about soy lattes and pronouns.

He deleted the original post. Another total victory for me and my perfect opinions.

"Smack barm pea wet"

Me after not being offered a slice of apple pie

We should let more fish commit credit card fraud.

I am Rogue One's strongest soldier but I'll be the first to admit it is a "chop job until the final sequence". Sometimes I watch the last hour or so by itself.

What if we made the wallet inspector woke?

Imagine you go to your regular death sticks plug and he's totally rearranged his life overnight, babbling about the living force or some shit. Like what are the rest of us supposed to do? Go back to buying from Babu Frik?

With the loss of Cheney, I genuinely believe there are not enough neocon freaks left to try and sell an invasion of Venezuela to the American people. But the ones that are left are going to give it their best.

I leave the site for 5 minutes and when I come back everybody is talking about *squints* a pervert magician?

BREAKING: Trump and Mamdani meet in the Oval Office to discuss "that Friday feeling."

A new Stargate series? In this economy?

What if we kissed 21.5 million years ago 😳😳

I love cooking spinach. Sometimes I pack it real small and dense and pretend I'm receiving a nutrient cube from a space station dispenser.

In the old days you had to hire a private detective to learn the sordid details of what modern people post online for free

In and out. Twenty minute regime change. What's the worst that can happen?

Was unwittingly off mute during a meeting with hundreds of participants

da policy genius

We should gin up some fake emails that say Trump secretly loves donating to charity and paying taxes

Getting so mad about immigrants that you accidentally endorse housing as a human right

You know the news is bad when people start using the word "tranche". The topic doesn't matter. Nothing good has ever come out of a tranche.

Completely vindicated in my belief that the worse someone is at writing an email the more likely it is that they're a sick freak

I don't mean to alarm anyone but I'm starting to get the feeling that the President might be a pedophile

Fine, I'll rewatch Hail, Caesar! Stop trying to convince me!

Taking a screen cap for a couple months from now.

🫡

In retrospect it was a bit unrealistic to expect the Surrender to the Leopards Party to not surrender to the leopards.

The X-Files is back. In Rhea Seehorn form

What about a beer cloud service and it's called Sharepint

Where to even begin?

🚨🚨🚨 The jury has reached a verdict. Sean Dunn, aka the DC Sandwich Guy, has been found NOT GUILTY of assault.

Afternoon coffee

I wonder what happened to that energetic young man

President Xi... Please hold your fire

Ideal male living space

It’s basically Deep Space Nine.