95% of Facebook pages be like "look at these 572 irrelevant fake news takes on Ariana Grande posted over the course of just 4 hours right now 🔫👹"

i feel like if I was crying Xi Jinping would put a gentle hand on my shoulder and his smile would just tell me everything is going to be alright

you are loved, we will win

the mice in my room have formed a committee & some have split into a rival faction. could escalate into tensions. we shall see

the average Iraqi experience

Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough for paranormal activity

hûr hûr lexen govendê, were bûka mala bavê min

Don't give up, bestie

awawas are the true and only winners of 2024

I dunno what Demi Moore/Margaret Qualley was complaining about, I'd kill to look like Demi Moore/Margaret Qualley

My life coach traded me.

#homeless #unhoused #harmreduction

minor thing, but it REALLY annoyed me how Elisabeth/Sue just left each other's bodies on the floor in the Substance. Fold each other up and put each other's bodies away, NEATLY, you messy bitches.

who's on Animal Crossing Pocket Camp? lets form a politburo.

the news media is up in arms over the opening of the worlds first "all nude honda dealership". i do not care so long as they have the deals.

99% of British tabloid journalists enjoyed a Serbian Film and watch it daily for kicks.

shut the hell up, Alice.

remember how they told us the Soviet Union was bad bc ppl had to queue and there were shortages? that was wild.

我跟谁

I'm not just playing dumb, I'm winning.

follow me for regular updates on the ghost.

the ghost is at it again: this time its humping the furniture.

All awakenings are rude

training 2 fight my aunt in a final showdown this xmas

i forgot the parma jaaan

can't believe Bashar Al Assad's gonna be in I'm a Celebrity alongside Les Dennis.

all bro did was wipe off that guyliner with Garnier Miscellar Water, have a trim and age 😭

worst episode of Cheers! I ever watched

Sorry, but HE was the most terrifying villain in all movie history. No Country for all Men doesn't even come close.

how I be looking at you even when you misjudge motor coordination when taking a sip of water and it spills all down u

This man just handed me a chai tea in this mug

when u drink 3l of water after waking up at 3am

i loooove depressed autistic men, that's my type fr

Laura Kuenssberg: im challenging you to a fight meet outside Tesco Leytonstone 6pm bare-knuckle, no earrings

today's sketch: Scottish Fold

i have 6907 thoughts every 10 seconds and you're so lucky I share even just merely 1 of them with you all

update: my brother caught the ghost that keeps coming back to our house after I hexed my ex rummaging in the paper bag he keeps all his documents in, including his birth certificate. We suspect its trying to attempt identity theft but its real motives remain yet unknown.

no one is mad at you, you are so loved and valued always x 🌸

this Labour government should stop with the foreplay pushing through murderous cuts to services/assisted dying/supporting ISIS mark 2 and just start mowing the British public down with machine guns

when one of the girlies presents a new man to the Girlie Selection Committee and u gotta go thru the chats CAREFULLY

the Memri TV news studios really should cement down those desks, is my main concern

Luigi's lawyer is so cvnty, love him and his baby girl Leslie Jordan ahhh vibes

when u go for a walk for ur menty health but the outside is outsiding so you just dissociate even harder

we seem to be going thru a Lenin Week rather than Lenin Year this past year.

when me and bestie have an episode at the same time x 🎀

union-mandated 2 hours a week to scream at life's suffering