Me: I can't believe this kid used AI again. This shit is so infuriating. Everything he turns in, I try to grade it, I give it back to him to redo, and then I have to grade it again. Teacher: At least he's graduating soon. Me: You think so?

Me: Okay, that concludes our discussion! Have a great weekend! Student: Wait... is this the last thing we did for your class?? 🥺 Me: When you come back Tuesday, we'll do some Regents prep, and that's it. Student: 🥺🥺🥺🥺

He did the tweet

flak*

I'd like to see them prove a teacher knew and didn't tell. Like where would that even be documented?

Does everything have to happen this week? Can we spread this shit out a little??

All paper towels are select-a-size if you believe in yourself

Me, trying to get my students to teach me Spanish: ¿Cómo se llama esto? Them: Estapler.

Too much time passed between placing my grocery order and receiving it, and now I can't remember what all these ingredients were for.

Not an evening person, not a morning person. A secret third thing. I went to bed at 7pm last night and got up at 3:30 for a volunteer gig and I was like, wait this is amazing.

Me: Okay [student], you can read the next part. Student: Uh, I don't think so. Me: Come on. Everybody else read but you. Student: Okay, well that's them.

Had a dream they put a kid in my class who was a zombie and tried to pass it off as "emotional disturbance"

Come on

Can I ever be one of those teachers who loves their job? Do I just not have *it*? I love teaching, but I think I hate being a teacher.

I read about this in Stamped from the Beginning. Some of our country's first anti-vaxxers were slave holders who feared the people they enslaved would use the inoculations to intentionally infect them with smallpox and kill them.

So you can get excommunicated for saying the earth revolves around the sun but not for withholding healthcare to poor people in California?

My principal dragged her feet on doing observations and now I got a formal observation coming up with instructional 12 days left in the school year. Gotta do a whole preobservation conference, post observation debrief, etc. For the love of God. It's May.

RIP to former NBA player Jason Collins, the first openly Gay, active, male pro athlete. Hard to explain what a big deal it was in 2014 when Collins signed with the Nets. He took number 98 in tribute to Matthew Shepard, the Gay teen murdered in a horrific hate crime. JC was brave and will be missed.

If you study social networks, all of them are like this. Even though you can talk to anyone on the internet, nobody actually does. Everyone just stays in their same little glass fishbowl and engages with the same group of people again and again.

Me: What's your takeaway from reading Macbeth?

I know I'm late to the party, but I finally bought an air fryer!

Run the World (Squirrels)

Something so karmically satisfying about watching a pen explode on someone who was messing with it too much.

I left Northern Ireland to come here to play soccer in 1981. It was at the height of the troubles. When I left my mates called me a lucky bastard for getting to go live in America. Last month I was home in Ireland for a wedding. The same people told me how sorry they were for me having to live here.

he does exist! they do exist

One of my colleagues has so much contempt for students. I can't even talk about problems I'm having because she takes it as invitation to talk shit about children

One of my colleagues has so much contempt for students. I can't even talk about problems I'm having because she takes it as invitation to talk shit about children

I signed up for a 31 day challenge-- Run 31 miles in the month of May. And I feel like I cheated by doing 26.2 of them all in one go.

A welcome back note from my colleagues (yes, I finished, and I got a huge PR)

Costs a lot to look this cheap

Slightly diminish a book: A Large Amount of Jest 1983 Some Ado About Some Things Celcius 242 The Pretty Good Gatsby

Park Slope, Bushwick, Cobble Hill

Student: You're the strongest teacher in this school. The strongest teacher I've ever had.

"I'll kick you in the balls until you forget your confirmation name"

Me: Who is in control of our destiny? Is it your own choices; is it God? Student: Six seven?

Help, I engaged my students too much. Their 7th period discussion rolled into the next morning and their history teacher could barely teach 1st period!

I want to be a cool and nice person, and then my morning commute has me waiting 20 minutes for a train and I become the type of person who bitches about how much I pay in taxes for these people not to have trains running at reasonable intervals!!!

Noah Lyles in the first look at his bride's wedding dress and he acts like they're still shopping. Bro, that's the dress. Your one job is to say, "You look amazing."

No, we thought it was horrifying.

Me: What's an example of a person who has hubris? Student: Trump! Me: I'll take it. Me: And what would be an example of someone who does not have hubris? Student: Mr. Beast? Me: No. Student: Our science teacher? Me: Aww.

Can we please provide people with a better place to sleep than the subway?

Great day for Adidas

We just dropped a limited batch of $5 tickets at gothamfc.com/mayor for the Gotham FC May 9th home game vs. Boston Legacy. I'll be there. Will you? Grab a $5 ticket at gothamfc.com/mayor before they're gone!

What fucking planet do these people live on? There's a shooting at your party. You want to know 1. Can we still party? and 2. Since we can't keep partying in a crime scene, can we take our coats? Go the fuck home.

If you were horrified watching elected leaders run & scramble because of gun violence, just imagine how my daughter Jaime felt in school running from an active shooter before she was killed. Now, become a part of the solution & only vote for people determined to address gun violence in America.

Multipass.