When you’re the group chat’s resident witch and you’ve managed to convince the other girlies that you’re magickally making them fatter>>>>

Irish non-binary mascs be naming themselves Paddy O’Furniture

LEMME TELL YOU, ITS BEEN REAL TOUCH AND GO THIS YEAR

This year we’re taking the l out of Flag Day

same as it ever was

this made me laugh so hard snot came out of my nose and now my tummy muscles hurt. i think it cured my depression.

Just a feeling, but I don’t think I’m going to make it through the 2020’s

Gift your local trans woman a broadsword

Goddamn I hate liberals and their smugness so fucking much. Get a grip on reality.

Hey, libraries don’t want your shit. We have collection policies in place for a reason. We don’t want your decrepit books. Throw them away.

I met one of my very good friends on the Nintendo Power forums in 2003 and we still communicate regularly

There is not nearly enough fat and/or trans women on my timeline here

Another trans woman came into my office to help me with a computer issue and oh my god I’m so lonely

Boob frotting

So this is where all yall went. It’s weird. I don’t like it.

I wish every cops a very I’m standing behind you with a hammer

I love how Twitter has become so bad that all the bots have migrated over here

Seeing the first leaf fall

Every time I remember that I have therapy today

As a trans person, you really need to weed out the annoying trans posters on here or your tl will be trash

My job… I want it to be just F-Zero 99

Job got me like

I feel like such a fucking freak tonight. I hate this

Shitting on cops with my coworkers over the gc let’s go

Eat a dick, Texas. How bout that?

I’m Do not spin

I wanna say fuck it and go day drinking with my two coworkers

🪓🪓🪓

Shout-"out" to guests who stay too long at your house

Dms on this platform WHEN

I’m just gonna say it. ✝️=🗑️

🚨🚨🚨 NEW ARTICLE ABOUT THE FAILSUB 🚨🚨🚨 https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/08/titan-submersible-implosion-warnings

Anyone on this app know how to adjust notification settings?

Not the bioethics professor requesting a text from an author that advocates for infanticide 🫥

Love it when I wake up with a song on my mind and when I listen to it, it feels like it’s scratching my skeleton

I’m this close 🤏 to lyrics posting on main

Marketing emails be like “we can’t wait to see you again, DEADNAME”

It’s really stupid that this platform won’t let you select and copy text

*whispering to self* Ohhh so we’re doing this insomnia shit again, huh?

Zooted

How your email finds me

Vacillating rapidly between “I can handle this heat” and “Jesus FUCK this is the hottest I’ve ever been in my entire life”

Honestly, good on the writers for having the women that Johnny Bravo hit on beat the ever-loving shit out of him