Major fail. Trump never should have been able to run for public office—any public office—ever again.

Tenchu Stealth Assassins

Following that announcement up with. Ms. Piggy bit is a heat check if I've ever seen one. Geoff crazy for this one.

THEY ARE SO FUCKED UP FOR THIS

Hey all, The Onion is accepting applicants for our writing, video and graphics fellowships. Fellowships last six months, pay well, and provide full benefits. You can apply at theonion.com/fellowship.

‘Abbott Elementary’ star Quinta Brunson launches fund to provide free field trips to thousands of Philly students

I have come to the idea that we have to collectively, brutally, ritualistically kill Target just to show capital that we truly aren’t fucking around.

The Street was a lot smarter when it used to recognize that less employment was bad, actually.

Stephen Miller’s Wife @katiemiller : “Can you cite the statute that makes the boat bombings illegal?” @bakarisellers.bsky.social : “The due process clause in the constitution.”

“Your costs are up… tariffs are raising prices…”

Handing back student work that’s been written by ChatGPT with a 0 followed by the comment “This essay will never stand in authentic wonder before the Beauty of God’s creation.”

Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He’s Carrying At Once https://theonion.com/man-hoping-people-notice-how-many-folding-chairs-he-s-c-1819576444/

clarence thomas has no jurisprudential argument, he just hates women and thinks the constitution doesn’t protect a varia suit

TEN MONTHS IN: The national debt is higher. The trade deficit is wider. The inflation rate has worsened. The unemployment rate is up.

ICE employee among 16 men arrested in Bloomington sex trafficking sting, police say. "When he was arrested, he said, 'I'm ICE, boys,'" Hodges said during a press conference Tuesday. "Well, unfortunately for him, we locked him up."

As usual, @aftermath.site gets to the heart of the matter. aftermath.site/the-alters-a...

Found it kind of strange that the @officialgdc.bsky.social salary survey results list QA salary information as being part of the Game Programming category. That is very inaccurate and seems likely to skew the data for both disciplines. Weird choice to make.

Chris Murphy on possible military strikes on Venezuela: "It's pretty clear it's just an effort to distract people from the rising prices and the Epstein scandal. No one wants a war with Venezuela ... and by the way, it's wildly illegal."

His Story 🤷‍♂️

When you've lost *checks notes again* Chris Cillizza

Tonight was a very bad night.

OVER A MILLION USERS DISCUSS SUICIDE WITH CHATGPT EVERY *WEEK* what the fuck are we DOING here

Trump is fighting tooth and nail to keep food out of people's mouths.

Strength training is political. We have a right-wing which has taken over physical fitness spaces, and hijacked “warrior culture”. We need a muscular progressivist visions. We need to be strong to build the world we want. Building my guns for the revolution. 💪🏾✊🏾 #Swoletariat #ResistanceTraining”

Rep. Yassamin Ansari has set up a table and this sign outside Speaker Johnson’s office.

I guess we found the answer to the question, "Is there anything worse than a Billionaire?"

Senior illustrator, with 20 years of experience and a specialty in game art. I haven't been able to find a paying project for months. Can you help? Every share is appreciated.

🧵

America, a metaphor.

Jeffries: "This from a group of people who somehow found $40b to bail out their right-wing dictator friend in Argentina. Republicans put Argentina first. And they can't find a dime to extend ACA tax credits? That's part of the reason why Republicans were rejected all across the country, pummeled."

Right in the middle of a White House event promoting their bizarre vision of "health," one of them passed out and required medical attention. The writers are getting lazier and lazier.

NetEase has pulled funding for more than half a dozen western studios in the past year. This is what I wrote in February 2025.

😎😎😎😎 GOOD THINGS CAN STILL HAPPEN 😎😎😎😎

BREAKING: Democrats just broke the GOP supermajority in the Mississippi Senate! In a stunning victory, Democrats gained seats in court-ordered special elections and will now head to Jackson to represent and fight on behalf of their constituents.

Really looking forward to the Speaker of the House claiming to be unaware of the election results.

Y'all not gonna be able to tell Gavin shit.

Ante Up

I've seen enough: The city of Albany — chartered in 1686, the capital of New York since 1797 — has elected its first Black mayor, Dorcey Applyrs. Photo by the Times Union's Lori Van Buren.

Breaking news: Democrat Abigail Spanberger, a former three-term congresswoman and CIA agent will become Virginia’s first female governor, the AP projects. https://wapo.st/3LqdiWU

The short version: Despite layoffs, buying the game still puts money in the pockets of the developers who worked on it. Which is doubly important because they're out of a job. Boycotting the game in solidarity with them by screwing them out of money won't help anyone!

black memphis residents have been organizing to shut down the xAI gas turbines and now there's increased policing

In normal times, this would be a major scandal occupying huge amounts of newsprint and attention. Now, this will be buried by new outrages within a few days.

Obama: As for the president, he has been focused on critical issues like paving over the rose garden so folks don't get mud on their shoes and gold plating the Oval Office and building a ballroom… If you can't visit a doctor, don't worry. He will save you a dance.

Obama: The weird videos of a U.S. President with a crown on his head flying a fighter jet and dumping poop on protesting citizens… All of that is designed to distract you from the fact that your situation has not gotten better.