My poem in this week’s @theneweuropean.bsky.social, which is out today.

Here’s a poem from my latest book, for all those who are out pounding the pavements in box-fresh running shoes this morning…

This, by Ogden Nash, is of course the finest New Year poem ever written.

A poem from my current book. I shall be in bed by 9 o’clock this evening, in my forlorn annual bid not to cause any offence…

My poem in the current @theneweuropean.bsky.social. We’re at the soup-bowls-and-ramekins stage of Christmas here.

A poem from my latest book

I’m currently listening to ‘Rainforest Sounds’ to try to drown out my wife’s snoring, but the combination of the two is making it sound as if somebody is chainsawing all the trees, so now I’m lying awake worrying about deforestation.

Viking North Utsire South Utsire Pecan Cromarty Forth Tyne Daley Dust German Shepherd Humber Thames Doink Wight Portland Plymouth Burnley Trafalgar FitzRoy Björk Lundy Botnet Irish Sea Wisconsin Hucknall Malin Hebrides Bill Bailey Fair Isle Faeroes Trumpety

Looks like it’s going to be a bumper crop

My poem in the bumper Christmas issue of @theneweuropean.bsky.social. That’s the last one now until January, so merry Christmas and happy new year to one and all.

🎅🏻 🏴‍☠️ 🎤

My poem in this week’s @theneweuropean.bsky.social

Here’s a seasonal poem from ‘Things My Children Think I’m Wrong About’.

A poem from my latest collection, ‘Things My Children Think I’m Wrong About’, which is published by Bedford Square, and which may or may not make an acceptable stocking filler for the overwrought, middle-aged person in your life…

This is excellent, as ever, from James Ball…

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche Had one distinctive Fietzsche His top lip was home to A magnificent furry Crietzsche www.worldofmoose.com/collections/...

With the advent of mass-production, the phrase ‘hand-made’ came to be used to denote traditional craftsmanship and quality. Will there be an equivalent for creative work in the age of AI? ‘Brain-written’?

Like so many of the poor and needy creatives you see on here, I feel as if, much of the time, all I’m doing is whispering: ‘Please love me’ in an empty room. But this is the best I’ve got, people. This is my Ozymandias, my Daffodils, my Ode to a Grecian Urn. I guess the world just wasn’t ready…

The collective noun for plaice is a 'pride' www.worldofmoose.com/products/pri...

The success of Notre Dame's comeback depends on whether we view it as an architectural gem or a functional religious building

My poem in this week’s @theneweuropean.bsky.social

And in the meantime, if you’re looking for some intelligent, high-quality journalism of a progressive bent to fill the void, might I recommend @theneweuropean.bsky.social?

Massive away win for the little fella.

I’ve been expecting a letter that was sent days ago. Luckily I remembered to check my junk folder and sure enough, there it was.

This is beautifully done, and very good for the sanity. @timminchin.bsky.social remains one of the very best humans.

Let’s go. #whamageddon

It’s an annual tradition, a free to download and print for yourself Advent calendar. This year it’s an Aardvent calendar.

I’ll second this. Nigel’s brilliant weekly piece sets the tone for the whole paper - informative, considered, and very well-written. I work through it, cover-to-cover, as my breakfast read over the course of the week. (And if you get the print edition, you’ll find the odd silly poem in there too…!)

Ah, thank you Nic. I am considering turning it into a cartoon… for financial reasons :)

We can be identified by our fingerprints but dogs are recognised by their paw traits.

I write (mostly silly) poems. The nice people at Bedford Square have put some of them in a book, which the mildly grumpy, middle-aged people in your life might conceivably enjoy for Christmas. I don’t have very many followers on here yet. If you do, I’d be really grateful if you could pass this on.

them: this is your first rap battle, isn’t it? me, holding scissors and sellotape: first of all, how dare you

🎶 She wore an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny…

(THE SCHOOL PLAYGROUND): ‘Actually, I MEANT to do that, actually, so…’ (CORPORATE CAPITALISM): ‘I like to think of myself as a disruptor.’

My poem in this week’s @theneweuropean.bsky.social

Happy #InternationalMensDay

Which calendar era did Michael Jackson most like to sing about? A)BC B)AD

From my latest collection…

My tried and tested method for creating an instantly lovely timeline on a new platform is to seek out @mooseallain.bsky.social and then freely plunder from his ‘Following’ list…

The first post on a new platform to zero followers always feels like a faintly absurd exercise…