Thanks to everybody that came to the tour Show in Spalding tonight. Me and Paul are off to go “fishing“.

With Mandelson’s appointment I suppose there was at least a cynical logic of ‘juice might be worth the squeeze’. With this Doyle peerage there’s no juice. No squeeze. There wasn’t even a fucking orange.

FOUR tour shows this week 💪🏻 Tonight - SPALDING (87% sold) Thursday - LOUGHBOROUGH Friday - IPSWICH (selling fast*) Sunday - NOTTS (8 tickets left) * er than they were www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Guys, it's the meeja's fault Labour had their Monday melt-down. Nothing to do with dodgy appointments, constant u-turns, an absolute vacuum of political thinking and a senior Labour figure calling for Starmer to step down. It was the meeja!!!!!

Keir being charismatic in private is as much use as Tories 'banging their desks' during all those 1922 meetings. Like a batsman who's looking 'great in the nets'.

NEW PODCAST EPISODE 💥 This week @jonathanpienews.bsky.social joins me to analyse… - How Starmer’s No 10 operation imploded - Why recent Labour leaders have been a bit weird - Whether theme parks should offer queue-jump for ADHD? Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

One MP told the BBC, ‘I’ve literally never seen a man so focused and powerful as the PM tonight. He was riffing happily and at one point played The Entertainer using only half-empty Pringles tubes and a glockenspiel which he conjured by using the Force.’

Sarwar 'The PM needs to go' Who should replace him? Sarwar: 'That's none of my business' You called the press conference mate.

Won’t lie. For my 2026 bingo card I didn’t have ‘Excitedly awaiting a press conference by Anas Sarwar’

Is it too late to get this going? #OperationSaveStarmerButOnlyBecauseAnyOfTheAlternativesWillBorrowAndSpendUsIntoOblivion

The buck stops with me. But I was badly advised to accept the buck. And the buck lied repeatedly. So I have now fired the buck.

Thanks to everyone who came to tonight Show in Hexham. Lovely town, lovely venue and a cracking crowd.

Can’t be arsed to think of anything for Valentine’s? 💔 Out-source conversation and come to one of my shows Weds - SPALDING 24 (24 tix left) Thurs - LOUGHBOROUGH Sat - IPSWICH Sun - NOTTINGHAM (9 tix left) www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Can’t be arsed to think of anything for Valentine’s? 💔 Out-source conversation and come to one of my shows Weds - SPALDING 24 (24 tix left) Thurs - LOUGHBOROUGH Sat - IPSWICH Sun - NOTTINGHAM (9 tix left) www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

One damaging thing for Starmer is people will start to realise he’s not *even* forensic. Delegates everything. The kind of bloke who asks ChatGPT what to have for lunch.

Morgan McSweeney gone! Probably because on the podcast I tried to get a terrace style chant of his name to the original ‘Sweeney’ theme. No coming back from that.

Having a tough weekend? I’m having curry alone opposite my Travelodge. Came here to kill time. But they brought my food out in about 8 seconds. Hope this helps.

Latest #pisstakeprices leaderboard of shame…

Absolutely belting crowd tonight in Stockton. I’m gonna celebrate with the fast food equivalent of a pub crawl.

I’m back on @TimesRadio from 7pm tonight. Fridays are always busy, so who knows what will happen while we’re on air? But I can guarantee comedy, news, reviews & interviews. 📻

I can recommend going to a museum or portrait gallery if you want to be reminded that you've got almost no idea what was going on in almost all of the world for almost all of history.

What’s it like to actually be Starmer at a time like this?

You know when they said ‘the grown-ups are back in the room’? Was the ‘room’ an all-inclusive? And were the ‘grown ups’ those pissed-up parents who presume someone else has an eye on their kids?

Thanks to a fun sold-out crowd tonight in Colchester. More parents with their kids. My show is fun for all the family.

BREAKING NEWS EPISODE 🚨🚨 I reflect on the following… - Starmer dragged into Mandekson’s muck - McSweeney the ‘master- mind’ - The value of good ear-plugs in noisy hotels Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Not sure there’ll be much sympathy he was lied to by a bloke nicknamed the PRINCE OF FUCKING DARKNESS.

Thanks to all who came to the tour show last night in Lincoln. It was Wednesday, it was cold, but you didn’t sack it off and that makes you heroes to me. Great fun.

Can journos stop saying McSweeney ‘master-minded’ the 2024 election win. It was a political gimme. Like my son ‘master-minding’ his painting ending up on the fridge.

Delivery spotted outside Manchester Mayor’s office

Still amazed Starmer gave Mcsweeney full-throated backing. Has he ‘seen’ politics before?

Come on you fucking dons!! Well done the lads and well done those who braved the ultimate midweek away game. 💙💛

Discussing what Mandelson did or didn’t know on today’s episode of ‘What Most People Think

NEW EP’ OF MY TOPICAL COMEDY PODCAST 💥 Cracking episode this, as @DominicFrisby joins to discuss.. - (Finally) the end for Mandelson? - Jeremy Clarkson not a Reformer - Bad candidates for by-election Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

NEW EP’ OF MY TOPICAL COMEDY PODCAST 💥 Cracking episode this, as @DominicFrisby joins to discuss.. - (Finally) the end for Mandelson? - Jeremy Clarkson not a Reformer - Bad candidates for by-election Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Reminder that when Starmer took office Karen Pierce was US ambassador and many felt she should’ve stayed on. But no, he went for the guy with more baggage than Gatwick.

Thanks to everyone who came to the show tonight. Cracking Sunday night crowd #massiveinwimborne

Nothing is cheap anymore. Apart from one thing… (On tour until May - tickets Live Nation)

Nothing is cheap anymore. Apart from one thing… (On tour until May - tickets Live Nation)

Thanks to everyone who came to tonight’s tour show in Salisbury. Cracking crowd. I’m off for a pint with Brian so he can tell me more about his bowling average.

Not the result we wanted but if we find some more of that second half spirit we’ll be alright #afcwimbledon

I'm on @TimesRadio from 7-10pm tonight. More comedy, reviews & interviews. (and, if what I'm hearing is right, a fair smattering of breaking news).

Thanks to tonight’s sold-out crowd in Cambridge. I don’t know if it’s the show or the news is so shit people are more keen to laugh, but the reaction to this tour is something else. Love doing it.

The dates in Maidenhead & Bedford now also close to selling out..

Back out Touring from TONIGHT! Early dates (some already sold-out) Cambridge, Salisbury, Wimborne(mouth), Lincoln, Stockton & Hexham - which isn’t ‘North of Newcastle’.

Back out Touring from TONIGHT! Early dates (some already sold-out) Cambridge, Salisbury, Wimborne(mouth), Lincoln, Stockton & Hexham - which isn’t ‘North of Newcastle’.

Just seen my iPhone update is tonight. It’s like Christmas Eve. Except, instead of presents, I’m getting excited about which things they’ll fuck up this time.

In other news, anecdotes at lowest levels since records began.

**NEWS** I'm delighted to report that 'Geoff Norcott's Working Men's Club' is returning for a second series on BBC sounds. Another dive / comedy belly-flop into the complex world of masculinity.

NEW EPISODE OF MY TOPICAL COMEDY PODCAST 🚨 My nephew @hawleyjacob joins me to discuss the fallout from… - Fear Starmer burning Burnham’s bridges - Trump’s latest spat with the U.K. - The worst January ever Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Middle-age loving is like pancake day…