By the miracle of pre-records I’m currently on @TimesRadio with a highlights show of this year’s Friday Night with Norcott.

Heard a rank conspiracy theory that today is somehow Friday. #NotPossible

Got a good feeling about this test match. Heard the lads had an early one. Just seven pints and in bed by 1am.

Merry Christmas everyone! I’m doing the turkey today. Mainly so I could declare, ‘I’ve already got my meat out and I’m letting it rest.’ 🎄🎄🎅🎅

This post remains my greatest success in comedy. Sadly I couldn’t back it up with other Paddington content.

Time is running out. Either send this to your other half or risk getting a weird gift-set of mini craft ales. GET TICKETS 🎄 www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Time is running out. Either send this to your other half or risk getting a weird gift-set of mini craft ales. GET TICKETS 🎄 www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Don’t want to reopen my Stevenage beef. But it currently has a Ferris Wheel called ‘The View’. What fucking view? Unless the carriages have blacked out windows.

Never feel more patriarchal than getting Xmas cards addressed to ‘Mr & Mrs G Norcott’. Makes me want to grab my pipe and retire to the smoking room to discuss current affairs.

UPDATE It’s over

435 to win It’s so in the bag that I’m going to sleep #formality #ashes

It ain’t over ‘til it’s over. #Ashes

I’m back on @TimesRadio from 7-10pm News, reviews, comedy & interviews (Plus exclusive tips on how to disguise that awkward selfie-arm)

We’re delighted to announce that the first act to be joining Dons’ fan @geoffnorcott.bsky.social on stage in January’s Still Not in the Wider Interests of Comedy is world renowned headliner @alistairbarrie.com! 🙌 Join us on Thursday 22 January ⏰ #AFCW 🟡🔵 www.afcwimbledon.co.uk/news/2025/de...

Do you have a mate who thinks he’s a whiskey connoisseur? 🥃

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 🎄🎅 Romesh Ranganathan joins for our traditional festive episode as we discuss.. - Is Starmer man enough for mustard? - Does Kemi watch violent films on Xmas day? - Does Ed Davey collect Christmas cracker jokes? Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Send this post to that person who claims you’re ’difficult to buy for’ 🎅 Tickets 🎟️ www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Send this post to that person who claims you’re ’difficult to buy for’ 🎅 Tickets 🎟️ www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

Psyching myself up to be on @TimesRadio 7-10pm News, reviews, comedy & interviews.

Latest #pisstakeprices leaderboard of shame..

Finished the Diddy documentary. Arguably the most shocking revellation is that he has *actual* fans. People who genuinely think he’s a good rapper. #stillprocessingthis

SPECIAL PODCAST EPISODE 🚨 As end of term approaches @TheSimonEvans joins me to grade the party leaders.. - Is it special measures for Starmer? - Carry on Kemi? - A big bum-wipe for Zac Polanski? Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

SPECIAL PODCAST EPISODE 🚨 As end of term approaches @TheSimonEvans joins me to grade the party leaders.. - Is it special measures for Starmer? - Carry on Kemi? - A big bum-wipe for Zac Polanski? Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Another failure for Travis Head. He’s failed in 75% of his innings this series. #pressurebuilding

BREAKING NEWS EPISODE 🚨 After a busy week I reflect on… - Farage Vs The Black & White Minstrels - Lammy Vs Juries - Wes Streeting Vs over-diagnosis Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

It’s clear Australia didn’t get enough runs in their first innings. They know that. You can see the apprehension in their eyes. England clear favourites now.

Liz Truss is so counter-revolutionary she hasn't even started her own show yet. Because that's exactly what the blob expects. #subvert #breakthings

Join me from 7pm on @TimesRadio Unlike Liz Truss we will start on time. News, culture & ‘comedy’.

Trump overshadows every big moment. He's like those mother of the brides who turn up in a wedding dress.

Everyone knows Joe Root's hundred means we basically won the Ashes. Not even sure why the team are still out there.

Well done to the Aussie press who came with the 'Average Joe' thing. Really got in his head with that one lads.

My god how could an achievement by one sportsmen make me so happy???? ROOOOOOOOOTTTTT The Goat just got goatier. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Autumn leg COMPLETED Thanks to all who came, hopefully see you in the Spring! (Currently a Black Friday sale on selected venues) 🎟️ www.livenation.co.uk/geoff-norcot...

It isn't that complex is it? The chancellor made an intervention which was at best manipulative about market sensitive data - they weren't even honest with their own cabinet. There's no VAR needed here, no different angles, no snicko, hot-spot or ball-tracker necessary.

Your Party has renamed itself as Your Party. Guarantee within 6 months there’ll be a breakaway ‘You’re Party’.

Thanks to everyone who came to the final show of the Autumn leg of the Tour. Such a wicked crowd. Me & Rich are going for a beer where we exchange two sentences per hour.

Cheers to everyone who came to last nights show in Crawley. In future I won’t feel as depressed about actually having to go to Crawley.

We’ve also added BRIGHTON - 4th May www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/geoff-norc...

We’ve also added BRIGHTON - 4th May www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/geoff-norc...

Due to SEXUALLY EXPLOSIVE demand I'm adding even more dates to my Tour for 2026. Second dates in Newcastle & Norwich + a FOURTH date in London. Tickets Live Nation.

I talk politics in my TOUR show. But also about stuff like this… (40 dates in 2026 - visit Live Nation)

*BUDGET REACTION SPECIAL* Full disclosure, the budget made me poorer, which *may* have influenced my response… …just a little bit… Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

*BUDGET REACTION SPECIAL* Full disclosure, the budget made me poorer, which *may* have influenced my response… …just a little bit… Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...

Recently I was proud to become an ambassador for The Association for Male Health & Wellbeing @AMHW_UK On Monday I said a few words at their annual awards. I was overwhelmed at the scale of good work & those who’ve been doing it for years - sometimes in the face of scepticism & hostility.

Hitting people saving for their pensions at a time when we’ll have to work longer knowing we’ll get less from the state is a special kind of stupid.

I normally try to deal in a bit of nuance But fuck this budget all the way to hell (nuance resumes tomorrow)

I’ll be having a root-canal during the Budget. Feels about right.

FUTURE HEADLINES ‘Foxtonsgate!’ Outrage as bent estate agents pocket thousands to value homes just below 2 million

And now for the latest #pisstakeprices leaderboard of shame

BRAND NEW PODCAST EPISODE 💥 The funny and financially astute @DominicFrisby joins me to discuss…. - Budget predictions - Forfeits for MPs who leak - Trump getting property on the Black Sea Apple: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott... Spotify: bit.ly/GeoffNorcott...