Anyway i had a very fun evening

sometimes you've gone out for drinks already and then you get home and your partner tells you "Sit." in the sternest "oh shit" tone out of nowhere, and they tell you "eyes closed, tongue out" and then they give you an edible and jam their shin into your crotch until you um uh um uh

Dog that is sooooooo fucking dizzy lol

sometimes you've gone out for drinks already and then you get home and your partner tells you "Sit." in the sternest "oh shit" tone out of nowhere, and they tell you "eyes closed, tongue out" and then they give you an edible and jam their shin into your crotch until you um uh um uh

seattle homos, where's the best place to get electrolysis around here?

Humming "how much is that doggie in the window" when i walk by apartments that fly trans flags

Humming "how much is that doggie in the window" when i walk by apartments that fly trans flags

god i hope i get microchipped someday

i love seattle because you can walk down the street behind a trio of trans women debating whether they have the Faggot Pass or not

"kink doesn't belong at pride" mfs when i'm flirting with their wife and she's flirting back:

Cracking open a boy with the cold ones (we've formed a lesbian necromancer cult in the woods 🥰)

Cracking open a boy with the cold ones (we've formed a lesbian necromancer cult in the woods 🥰)

day 2 of prox chatting "hey, i'm just exploring, fuck off, is it shot day or something?" until i meet a squad of trans women in Marathon and they adopt my Rook like a stray dog

Hey have any of u fags tried pio? If so, got any dosage tips?

pretending im someone's ditzy girlfriend getting dragged along to the mathemetician function and "accidentally" starting a fistfight by asking someone if 0 is a natural number

now that doesn’t make a lick of sense. it doesn’t make a puppy kiss of sense. not one slobbery dog kiss of sense

you can tell when a boynecologist has been busy and stressed because she'll post too many burritos, god i love california-style breakfast burritos,,,

my favorite part about getting leftover fries from going out to eat is making breakfast burritos at inappropriate hours lol but also sundried tomatoes + bell peppers sauteed before scrambling the eggs,,, mmmmmm

Lmao which one of my dog woman moots was this www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

i should make a silly little hack of Flying Circus where you drive a mech. The skeuomorphic cockpit player sheet is so coooool

pride month is coming up, so JUST A REMINDER: do not eat out the trans catgirls unless you're willing to risk getting toxoplasmosis.

Chat i wanna make sushi again, what should i marinate the tuna in??

women...

[while lint rolling some furniture] aw babe, you gotta start sneaking over some women to cheat with, all that's here is cat hair!

[tgirl youth pastor sitting in chair backwards] yknow what ELSE atrophies if you don't use it every day? your faith. let's open to the scriptures of matthew

Dead-eyed dog woman streamer that puts on a fake persona so she can sell puppygirl bathwater

girl that looks like a girl that looks like a boy

should i get a smiley face butt tattoo chat?

Flagging drummer by being late to everything

You know, i thought i'd be over this after waking up but i guess not

getting groped in formal businesswear by a younger, newer employee after an industry conference,,,.. you keep trying to protest and demand to know HOW she saw through your careful, mature, put-together-professional persona to the heart of a pathetic pet that just needs a firm grip. she laughs at you

get yourself a dog that knows how to make you a tuna bowl with sticky sushi rice (me) 🥰

*talking to a guy that looks like charlie kirk* "You remind me of that one guy! I can't remember his name. Uhhhh yknow, the [gestures at neck and makes an explosion motion]"

this weekend i'm gonna make some tuna and salmon sashimi with actual sushi rice and it's going to be *so* baller

[trying to get an american UC Gundam fan to watch Build Fighters] "imagine a hamburger"

lmao that "dump your puppygirl" writeup hit some nerves. puppy, u gotta do the dishes and pay whatever of the rent u can and like give something back to the people in your life.

I want to love and support my heterosexual trans sisters out there like i support u getting with dudes im just begging u to raise the standards. "Jerome Powell can kinda get it", "The kfc guy is doing it for me", "i would crawl through glass for blueys dad" I WANT BETTER FOR YOU ALL PLEASE

i just got back from Hathaway and this post is for nobody but me lmao

one more self-indulgent repost and then i'm done i swear

i just got back from Hathaway and this post is for nobody but me lmao

matching couple profiles that say "seattle-based" and "seattle cringe"

need bites ngl

extremely vanilla person who calls anything remotely kinky "fetslop"

vandal: cis lesbian recon: trans lesbian triage: cishet man destroyer: closeted repper thief: cishet woman assassin: nonbinary intersex

lmao okay does anyone else feel weirdly comforted by the lead gowns they use when ur getting an x ray

song of roland enjoyers when another manchild "says uhm ahckshually the UESC Marathon is king arthur's sword in the stone"