Ready to see the best picture of me to ever exist?

Bob, a 1-year-old pit bull mix, is “truly as perfect as they come,” according to Lawrence Humane Society staff. He's a doggy socialite who loves to make new friends. lawrenceks.news/4eoL4Zb

Whew I am feeling the effects of talking to/doing hair on 16 people over 3 days. It’s not just the physical… your girl is a little moody today. The money is great. But mentally….

I also love when men are like “Well what about the women who get pregnant and try to trap the men financially” Oh? She just “got” pregnant? Like the flu? Or did you have some part in it and don’t want to take responsibility when the ONLY thing you had to do was wear a condom? 🤔

Late boot camp

Will I ever be free from vertigo?? It’s not as bad as it used to be but I still get it frequently and it is dumb!

I’m a fool to do your dirty work

go to a minute clinic. buy the swab you do yourself, they carry these at drugstores. i don’t care! there are ways to get tested. find one. do it. :)

that’s one of my strongly held non-political opinions, everyone should be getting STD tested yearly, minimum

Late run but got it done.

I had looked at my texts but this gave me so much anxiety today. I am a zero notifications girlie.

There is no such thing as a chicken *burger* and I will die on this hill A burger must involve beef OR be a vegetarian gesture in the direction of a beef patty. A chicken sandwich is a chicken sandwich.

😩

Today has absolutely kicked my ass. But I’m proud of this kid!

I made banana muffins

One of my bridesmaids today was wearing i-tip extensions then wanted a slick back pony but didn’t want to be able to see her beads from her extensions. Listen… I’m good. But not that good.

Had to get an early workout done because my brother and sister in law are staying with me tonight

You're paying $8 for gas but thank god those seven trans athletes can no longer play sports and you can say "r*tard" again!

One thing the fitness gurus don’t tell you is if you stay up past midnight and snack that doesn’t count on that day’s calories because it’s after midnight and it doesn’t count on tomorrow’s because you haven’t woken up yet. Free calories.

Skies out, thighs out but your girl desperately needs a tan.

Betty woke me up three times between 330 and when my alarm went off at 7:15 and I have a huge wedding party to do the hair for. Send facebook prayers

She’s cute

Yes! I vote we tandem haunt everyone after.

Why does no one care that I’m dying?!? Or being dramatic…

This drug saved my life. I will sell this shit in back alleys if I have to.

Feels like the "Klay throws bricks and I build houses" bar writes itself

Not me forcing @sasscarpone.bsky.social to write me a nice eulogy via text 🤣🤣🤣

I had two different dreams last night: One where I was at a wedding reception and had taken off my shoes and lost one shoe. The other I was taking a cross country train and lost my debit card. I should probably stay inside today.

If anyone needs me, don’t

What is Beyoncé going to release in 12 mins?!

What you know about my childhood Sunday dinners?

What is personal space?!

Love spending $300 on color and the distributor gives zero shits about it

Hi, my name is Heather and my current favorite snack is dry frosted mini wheats.

I’m so ready for watermelon season

Male supremacy IS the red thread linking not just all fascist movements but vast swathes of men across political parties, race, class, religion & sexuality. Male supremacy is rubbed in our faces daily, but istg most Americans just cannot see it: they may see racism & class war, but misogyny? Nope.

What - and I mean this with all my heart - the actual fuck?

I had to turn on my heat

My breezeway smells like that wacky tobaccy. As the kids say.

I'm always disappointed when the store only has small curd cottage cheese because @msheatherbeaver.bsky.social is correct, large curd is superior

As tribute to the always fabulous @msheatherbeaver.bsky.social, I think I’m going to start ending work emails with, “If you have any questions, don’t.”

My watch died mid workout but I guess it still counts

fucking gross, per usual

In case anyone is wondering how the situation with my grandma is… not great, Bob.

Sometimes I’m grateful that I have a trauma response to being perceived as lazy.

Drama

Must get my shit together for summer and vacation

I need a scalp massage that is as good as the one I give my clients 😩

I was eating a banana and I was like wait… when did bananas become Dole bananas?!

I would really really love to get my original IG and Facebook back 😩