Jell-o Good Night and Good Luck Imagine

Halloween family movie night continues

Only one man can stop him

Made a friend for coffee this morning

Not a goddamn one of the gleeful shit smirking resist libs have one damn clue who they’re smugly applauding for the Nobel prize

Conspicuously on her resume: dedicating the award to the guy who did all those things. For fuck sake there is nothing stupider on this earth than a resist lib

Gotta say it’s pretty hilarious they’re popping a Qatari airbase right smack dab in the middle of the American Redoubt

Its actually crazy how stupid liberals are. We will never escape this hell.

No main internet character has ever been more vindicated than 30-50 feral hogs guy

She dedicated it to Trump for fucks sake can you idiots get some guile

Anybody in their 60’s checking out girls in college should be shot in the face

This entire administration acts like guys who use gas station dick pills according to the label instructions

lol the entire global economy is about to Chernobyl

If you could get a bud light at Arby’s there would be games of Russian roulette at the tables, duels in the parking lot, and at least three Hemingways a week.

A mere 6 years later, he bombed a doctors without borders hospital, but it’s okay because his pentagon said it wasn’t a war crime and he said sorry.

Imagine walking in to your dream job at the Wall Street Journal. You’ve finally got the green light to write your most controversial article. You will convince the world that they were wrong, Johnny Cash is cool actually, and only you have figured it out.

Think I’m going to start hitting arms once a day

Bars tho

Might be the single worst framing of a headline in the social media era

Goddamn somebody in the DNC hire this cocksucker to write the midterm platform

Ah yes, thankfully someone expressed the downline semantic issues also present in hoarding wealth

If you were to dye a flag with crushed cardinals, fire engines, and pure spectral red, light it ablaze, shine a red light on it and indicate the entire scene with runway lights, it would be less of a red flag than wearing a Nails jersey in 2025

I know he was once considered a real threat but Jordan Peterson's King Lear story arc where he gets visibly frailer with every public appearance while his daughter very obviously slowly poisons him is kind of iconic...

When people ask me how tall I am I always ask if they mean flat footed or in roller skates because like, it’s a weird question in person tbqh

Great. I’m already cursed to be 6’5 with a full head of luxurious hair and a pair of cavernous dimples, now you’re telling me my uncut hog is canceling out the autism? Will the burden of being me ever subside?

Seems like an easy way to test this hypothesis would be to circumcise RFK.

8lbs until new suit.

The Wa-Po just discovered the speaker of the house

We’re finally hitting the part of the year I can wear sport coats and suits again, so excited to swap in some dressed up thirst traps now and again

1.00 gas

Dance parties with the kids, pushing the furniture out of the way and rollerskating in the living room, collecting action figures, juggling, generally embracing weirdness

Third baseman for the New York Mets

I’ve spent something like 200,000 fixing all the neglected health care we didn’t have, and roughly two decades digging out of poverty

Bad enough to repress most of the bad stuff, punctuated with lots of moments of sheer wonder and joy

Drinking

I saw my first dead body within a month of being allowed outside by myself so idk that I ever thought that

I lived by a steep alley and one time me and the neighbor kids stole a shopping cart and bombed down it all day. Almost got hit by a car like four times.

Definitely some problematic elements to it but I love The Magician’s Nephew

Toss up with X-men and DuckTales coming in a close 2nd and 3rd.

Metal Gear Solid

I mean definitely the biggest and most enduring crush of my formative years

I had one great uncle who wore some kind of weird arthritis cream. Stunk up the entire place. I’d walk into my grandparents house and know he and (my favorite aunt ever) had come for a visit

Not paying bills was pretty dope

My Girl

Arthur and the Knights of Justice

Bart Simpson, Hulk Hogan, and the Ninja Turtles

Hey so like literally any federal judge can swear in that new representative and the fact the democrats are content to play the “you won’t seat her” card instead of just seating her themselves is pretty par for the course in Dems choosing to do nothing

I love Seinfeld the show, but hate Seinfeld the person, comedian, celebrity, and pedophile.

Of course it doesn’t matter, but in order for a satirical website to be your ideological nemesis, you must also be running a satirical website

If you interviewed 100 people under 30, in any of the last 5 decades, and asked who was cooler: Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, or Bruce Springsteen, you would not find five respondents who even understood why Dylan and Springsteen’s names were put forward for consideration