Remember how I was making fancy drinks for my kids back in September? I discovered that you can buy popping pearls in bulk (WAY cheaper than buying from a boba place) so we're doing this again

Tfw your teenage friend from college says that she usually doesn't use protection w/her trash bag of a boyfriend "They're just all the way over in the dresser"

What's for dinner today?

Love an AAM update where she needs to pin a post reminding everyone to be kind to the OP 😂

I don't know what we're doing in our next D&D session, but my friend who is DMing asked me to make a "Better Gnomes and Dungeons" magazine cover (a spoof on Better Homes and Gardens). I had a lot of fun making this so I'm sharing it. 😂

Last I heard my hair dresser was married to a man. But today there was a woman here on her lunch break who kissed her goodbye and they live together and she's not wearing a ring anymore.... I seem to have missed something!

Luv 2 get a $1000 bill from anesthesia 9 months after the procedure 👍👍

Someone I know bought this print and it low-key looks like Jesus is going to tackle that baby lamb

It's giving Delenn s2 💀

My nine year old asked for a Rosetta Stone cake for his birthday

"Tibby? I ain't heard that name in 20 years..."

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

I feel weird about the reflecting pool brouhaha and I don't know how to verbalize it. Like, it's a waste of money and poorly planned, but inconsequential? And people are making SUCH a big deal of it. But we're SO tired of paying attention to consequential, horrific things elsewhere.

14yo is obsessed with the idea of connecting wirelessly to our new stove. Keeps telling me to download the app and threatening to install it on his own phone. Why would I want to turn my oven on or off while I'm not near it? I am mystified.

Tethys xkcd.com/3259/

Since I did do my PhD in cyanobacteria growth and treatment optimization modeling AND work in the water treatment industry, I’m gonna share my theory as to what’s happening here and how to fix it. People are focusing on the painted bottom of the pool increasing residual heat, and while that 1/19

I just brute forced myself to do some admin tasks that I did not want to do because they each required several unrelated steps to be completed and I feel so much better now 😭 But I hated every stupid, bureaucratic second.

My 12yo wants to play RuneScape. I didn't know much about it; does it allow communicating between strangers?

This is almost as offensive as when Macaulay Culkin tweeted, "Wanna feel old? I'm 40!"

This is a long shot but do any mutuals know someone flying from Boston to Phoenix tomorrow? My friend is trying to repair a car but there’s a part still in Boston.

HELLO THIS SHOW WHICH I HAVE ALREADY NAMED MURDER BESTIES WAS CUSTOM DESIGNED IN A LAB TO BE MY FAVORITE SHOW I'VE EVER WATCHED www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-o_...

Went to an end-of-school party today with a crowd that has a lot more money than I do. They're all lovely but I would feel very weird inviting them to my (nice, clean, solidly middle class) home.

Wake up y’all new structure ambiguity exercise just dropped. #linguistics

I got whatchu need.

Update: my husband caught it before he left it at the dump! He just didn't mention anything until this afternoon when he started bringing back all the stuff that was in his truck 😂

Cheers: I got a new stove! Finally! Jeers: I left all of my pans in the drawer when I sent it to the dump. Muffin pans, 13x9s (aluminum), 13x9 (glass) (brand new deep dish), 10x7, springform (large), springforms (4) (mini) 😭 And probably more 👎

I finally pulled the trigger on ordering saffron crocus bulbs. The place I ordered from will ship them in August and they're $7.50 for 10. They're hardy in zones 6-10 and I'm very excited to harvest some thread!

My neighbor just sent this. Would it be weird to offer to send him money or do you think that's what he was fishing for?

my mom in the middle of every movie

The open quote mark is the piece of resistance

"a bond for us to meet again in the next life" smh the first rule of money is you can't take it with you

I’ve watched this 500x

this is my kind of company motto right here

Sunbeam xkcd.com/3253/

Today was a heckuva day to try Connections again 🙄

Thanks a lot 🤦‍♀️

Please appreciate at this original book that was illustrabeid and cuthrd by my kindergartener

Look, plantar fascitis sucks but I think this guy has bigger issues going on

Why does no one sell a simple rainbow gradient yarn with even lengths of colors? I just want a yarn that has equal amounts of each shade with saturated color.

Our MS choir teacher is putting together a trip to NYC to perform at Carnegie Hall next year. It's a whole package where we pay $1600 per kid and they put us up for 4 nights and have a guest conductor... It sounds like a lot of fun but feels pricey.

I've read that airlines are actually just big credit card reward schemes that happen to fly people around. Do they make *any* money on flights or is it a net loss meant to support the credit lending?

My school choir is singing at graduation: the national anthem, our fight song, and Perry the Platypus (from Phineas and Ferb). The college president has very politely asked if Perry is the most appropriate for the occasion (not very gravitas 😂). I don't know what's "normal" so I have no idea 🤷‍♀️

Wild flower on its way out

Just had a followup about my missing strings. I would at least like the IUD replaced (which requires a rather invasive procedure to go in and fetch it) and they brought up the idea of maybe doing something more permanent... Which hadn't crossed my mind 😂

Instead of 8th grade graduation, we had Evening of Excellence, which includes awards for GPA, core classes, elective classes, student athletes, and NJHS. It was still really long (each student had a paragraph read about why they were so great) but better than a grad ceremony! Plus they had cupcakes!

14yo said that his too-small black dress pants are from Costco. They can't be more than a year old but I have no memory of buying them and no way to search my purchases from Costco. I guess we'll just have to buy different pants this time 🤷‍♀️

He knew that from this moment forward, she’d be the centaur of his universe.

Movie rec: Happiness For Beginners Super cute. Loved it a lot!!

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Modern curses for modern cretins: May your ice cream always be crystalized. May your jacket pocket develop a hole into the lining. May your thumbs get sore when you scroll. May you feel like *every* face is familiar but not know why.