underrated cool thing about painting your nails is you can use metallic silver polish and pretend to be a robot BEEP BOOP

i remember when i used to debate people because i thought there was such a thing as winning then it turns out no matter how well you prove your point, there will be eight thousand people who weren't listening and demand you do it again, for them, or else you're wrong fuck that!

so this guy's our secdef huh?

i think it's because Going To Bed is a commitment and i suck at those

the other day i was talking to my friend and he said damn imagine how awful it would be if you cared about everyone in the world and i said i DO care about everyone in the world and he was like oh

a lychee's only natural defense is looking like a sad gray old-man testicle

"ao3 maintenance" trending this place is just twitter for tumblr

i understand how a music video could be longer than the lyric video but then sometimes the music video is shorter?? how the hell???

late night come home WORK SUCKS [[screamed as loud as possible]] i know

my favorite moment from this season so far

ffs

since nobody asked here are my top 10 movies, not in order top secret bill & ted mulan blazing saddles peter pan 2003 con air lotr beavis & butthead do america kung-fu hustle pee wee's big adventure

i don't like practical jokes but one time my friends had a marvel halloween party and i came as groot and said nothing but "i am groot" for 5 hours and legitimately exasperated several people

tbf this was also what happened to jesus

one really weird thing about time passing is the return of hot guys named jeff. what?

poetically, this shit is driving me nuts

i remember when the tvguide channel just had standardized descriptions for each tv show regardless of which episode was airing and the description for aquateen hunger force was "food items solve crimes"

just found out this happened lmao

who else gets mad at themselves for trying to make a new rule. like, who am i to tell me what to do?? jerk

ok but i'm actually doing this??

reposting because i like to repost when political leaders do correct good things

Kicking myself for not planning ahead and getting a group together to Mystery Science Theater 3000 this meeting. #ACIP

i would be so much more self-conscious if not for the fact that as soon as i leave the house i literally forget what i look like

so now kimmel is off the air too eh? the funniest part is seth meyers is actually way more leftist than colbert or kimmel, but people tend not to notice because the show just... um... isn't as well-written (no hate seth!!)

My son was hanged a year ago. He was White & Asian Indian. He didn't do it to himself either. He had no reason. Just bought a new (to him) car, a travel trailor, was planning travel to West Coast. Was setting goals. Hadn't finished dinner he was eating. His body was in a seated position bottom

part of why tomatoes and olives go together is tomatoes are savory grapes and olives are angry grapes

not to sound like a stoner, but there’s this thing nature does to us where it makes us feel both seen and accepted, distinct yet connected, and sometimes humans like to make things to provide that feeling for themselves and each other and I think that’s what art is

charlie deserves all the online criticism he's getting and more, and so does this lady lmaooooo comment section downright inspirational

Looking at calm Nazis and shouting opponents and saying “Gosh one side seems awfully angry.”

anyway i'm still adding to my drama bingo list/ drinking game here's what i have so far

there's extremists on both sides. on one side there's ethnic cleansing, and on the other side there's a candidate in new york who has some divisive ideas about how a grocery store might be run. it would be irresponsible to say which of these is worse

out: plots & plans in: pots & pans

"when the lights come on, and everybody's screaming lighters in the sky, yeah, everybody's singing every word to every song to the girl they're taking home tonight" damn, another country song for lesbians only. how many is that?

"jennifer's body was just made at the wrong time" ok but can we talk about angel? ten years later and we would've had angelus and spike making out 💔

well damn

just gave something its 419th like. felt like community service

most accurate take i've seen all year

today was the first time i've seen charlie kirk do something that was not hypocritical. good for him!

i'm going to be 40 soon i am too old to have my life ruined by gay chinese 50 shades of grey

ok i'm just going to come right out and say it: when you refer to large groups of people as being "stupid" or "idiots" you are being classist and eugenicist. please stop

yeah someone insulting america is like someone insulting my (hypothetical) abusive parents... literally why would i be mad, they obviously suck

yong pal earning my instant gratitude and loyalty by telling his patient/ love interest "hand-feed you? yeah right. your arms need the exercise to help with your recovery" THANK YOU DR YONG

tangela merkel

i moved to a different state where i didn't qualify for medicaid my insurance was over $300/mo, just for me, and covered almost nothing. i was still going to the free clinic.

Did we seriously just have the largest mass-kidnapping in centuries perpetrated by the US government?? #HyundaiRaid

falling into every thirst trap like sideshow bob stepping on rakes

can't find the screencap right now but here's one of my all-time faves "i have terrible news for the people calling me fat and ugly in my replies right now: did you know you can be fat, and ugly, and also correct?"

protagonist has multiple love interests and one of them whenever he walks onscreen i raise my eyebrows, shake my head and mutter "mmm -- by a mile" like involuntarily