my wife is going to leave me because i keep buying distilled water at the grocery store and calling it "aquacola"

Zohran is already making Regular People's lives harder...

2026: it's gonna happen

without even commending the timeliness and scope of his work, chris is your one-stop-shop for when you actually want to download and read the damn legal document

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

MOVIE MISTAKES: In the 1990 film GOODFELLAS, Jimmy Conway gets upset with Johnny Roastbeef for purchasing a car shortly after the Lufthansa heist. However, the car was clearly purchased as a wedding gift under Johnny's mother's name, and thus there is no reason for Jimmy to get all excited.

I'm a regular guy, I put my trousers on the same way as everyone else: falling into them through a hole in the ceiling via a contraction operated by my long suffering dog

instead of strange dicks you be getting a frap

kavanaugh with an overt "please stop getting mad at me for kavanaugh stops" footnote 4

fookin' class mate

the united kingdom has so many quirks. we drive on the left, fries are "chips" and chips are "crisps," we don't stand on the loo, etc.

"hey...does your daddy have a safe?"

liverpool football club

last night in london i had to wait 28 minutes for a bus. now i'm waiting 15+ minutes for "the tube." cta-ass transit over here

[billy joel singing piano man] and this lesbian bar doesn't have fire escapes

i saw GET OUT opening night in a packed washington dc theater and i will never forget the crowd pop when allison williams gets killed

when every news station in the world keeps showing kilmar abrego garcia in a bulls hat

i'm gonna post something like "there is so much business talk in the united club lounge right now #inspiring" on LinkedIn and get 100 new connections

my wife to me all damn week before the rosalia presale

"sleepy" clarence thomas and "sleepy" sam alito really struggling through this oral argument

this can go a bunch of ways but the only thing this play definitely *isn't* is the call on the field lol

you see donald, you did the 𝘲𝘶𝘰. but you didn't actually secure the 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥. and that's really the most important half of the bribe, the 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘥. anybody can just 𝘲𝘶𝘰!

making my immigrant grandmother's christmas cookies, thinking about the absolute fucking demons at the highest levels of our government

[watching soccer with a hot water bottle on my perennially sore shoulder ] lol look at jordan henderson's old ass out there

the map is three months old. the election is in 334 days. what the fuck are you talking about

let it fly j.b.

if i were google maps i would not highlight the "bubbl'r flavors" that are available at the mariano's adjacent to bubbly creek but that's just me

youtube wrapped says i watched "Heat (1995) 'Cause She's Got a Great Ass!'" 411 times (top 1% global users)

It is *lunacy* for the ostensibly liberal opposition party to say we shouldn't limit any individual's wealth and power after watching a cadre of fascist billionaires systematically destroy this country. That's probably the single most important thing we *must* do!

i continue to believe that tottenham hotspur are cursed and it won't be lifted until they right that wrong and bring back pochettino

spurs just gave up the worst goal in the history of the premier league

philadelphia is now chicago's 51st ward. congratulations to philadelphia, home of chicago's third best sandwich (the cheesesteak)

football teams should be able to buy more timeouts. $50,000 each.

“You better not be NBA Live ‘97 David Robinson when you get back from that *walk* with your cousins!” {me coming back from the *walk* with my cousins}

starting to worry that lindsey halligan doesn't have "the juice"

handshake meme with "turkey baster"

picturing a curb episode where larry tries explaining to cheryl what he meant by that poem

[pronouncing it like "licked"] you guys see wicked?

[ken burns whenever it's not the golden hour] well this fucking sucks

it's friday

"january 6 pedophile" vs. "quid pro quo"

"Swastikas were a popular symbol before the Nazis. These were installed back in the 70s." "The 1870s?" "Uhhh..." www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/n...

starting to worry that lindsey halligan doesn't have "the juice"

[lenny kravitz] 🎵 asparagus urine 🎵

[guy who kicked you straight in the fucking teeth] we're going to be taking action to solve the toothlessness epidemic