British guy when England was under Roman control: Eyyy I make-a da wigan kebob

there are certain pieces of cookware in my cabinet of which I've grown mistrustful

yoda and obi wan disappeared their corpses when they died so that they couldn't be dug up and put on trial like they used to do to old popes.

you used to be able to turn on television and see a magnificently 3D rendered gollum calling dobby a faggot on the mtv movie awards

Friday at last…

delicious death

Rest in peace JRR Tolkien you would have loved Mobile Suit Gundam

Friday at last…

"A24 and everyone" were idiots and are my enemies. more movies should take a big swing with the ending

sending a work email at 4:59

I got my first gunpla. Hope I don't fuck it up

*driving east at sunset, muttering*: fucking asshole has his brights on

diet coke and lilith’s house of snax, reblog if you agree

there are so many girl skills. posting, diet coke

this happens to me all the time

Friday at last…

I fucking hate Stephen King. one minute you'll be reading the tightest shit, the next he'll say some racist liberal bullshit that makes you so mad you have to close the book and refight an argument you had with your 11th grade history teacher in your head

Communist Mark Wahlberg: If I was there with my kids, the 20th Century wouldn't have gone down like it did

you should install a third party file explorer

sometimes there is an evil tower

(seeing any three dwarves walking abreast through the secret entrance to my gold horde) well well well if it isn't Jackoff, Whackoff, and Beatoff

me trying to motivate myself to get out of bed in the morning

I'm tired of charging shit. they should invent a wooden, crank operated vape

Friday at last…

were the white stripes incest baiting?

James Cameron

nobody wants to see marty supreme with me. nobody respects ping pong

Hello, my name is Benoit Blanc and I do believe...you are watching the Disney Channel.

Friday at last…-

I bet the wet bandits had nightmares like this after home alone

trying to be more annoying, I've gotten lazy

the best breakfast you can have is hot Cheetos is black coffee

Friday at last…

I thought I might as well go below and make a rough draft of my will.

gay

both the cats are snuggling me but now I'm too warm, southern california winters are soooooooooo hard 😔

amateur hour. I think about this every day.

when you're trying to have sex, but the ssris and hrt make it difficult

Would that I could keep squeezing that sperm for ever!

Friday at last…

Friday at last…

To Shoot a Beetle, 1964 by John Wilde

@deathcarpets.sisc.one when house of snax comes back, can I clip Paul Williams saying "get this fag out of here" from Phantom of the Paradise for the sound board?

Gotta say, among books where the narrator spends 4 chapters in a row trying to do racist pseudoscience to a whale, Moby Dick is definitely my favorite

Friday at last…