he should 100% do this

Due to rising costs, Little Caesars no longer promises hot and ready fare. Customers must now choose between ready but cold, and hot but somehow not ready.

Cain was the first-born child of Adam and Eve. He is therefore history's third person, responsible for inventing several pronouns, cameras and shooters.

Do you prefer your chicken on the Crousty side?

Finally, a flag worth fighting for.

A vulpine friend.

Frodo: It is no use, I cannot continue. Sam: Yes you can, mister Frodo. Gollum but he talks normally now: I agree with Sam.

This half-empty punnet of anemic strawberries has failed to sell, surprisingly.

Single-board computers would be so much cheaper if their manufacturers used stolen CPUs rather than official ones. A victimless crime.

People resonate so much with that bus ride thread because being taken for a ride you didn’t sign up for is just life in America 2026

The energy I bring to Bluesky.

America: You fall asleep on a coach. You awaken to learn you have been kidnapped by the driver, who refuses to stop. UK: You fall asleep on a coach. You awaken to learn you have been kidnapped by the traffic around Marylebone, which refuses to move. You left Victoria Coach Station hours ago.

Someone in my apartment block is leaving notes written on Lilo and Stitch stationery.

They should invent a type of current event that’s good

Pronouncing "Peugeot" as "Pu-Gi-Oh".

As is tradition in January's latter half, at least two aisles must be stocked to capacity with Easter eggs.

The first snowdrops of the year have bloomed a trifle late, if I may remark.

The introduction of the Denny's Hobbit menu was a historic occasion: for the first time since the Eighteenth Century, British-inspired cuisine was briefly popular in America.

At the request of @programmingcodex.bsky.social, I have salvaged my compositions from a few years ago into the following thread: "Bananaphone" but disappointing. (1/20)

The sugar tax is simply excessive. Nowadays, even WD-40 is only available unsweetened.

Breaking: Keir Starmer has won his first confirmed Reform-to-Labour voter after diffusing an argument with his wife.

Setting sail for next Christmas, presumably.

I FOUND IT www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzvs...

In memory of a true Freake.

Could it really happen?

Pachyderm extinction can be prevented by stacking them vertically in a zoological Tower of Babylon.

My son and my son's son.

It is named "apatite" because that is precisely what you will lose if you eat too much of it.

Ah yes, the physical manifestation of debt.

Bismuth my beloved.

They destroyed all of Cornwall and divided it into uneven chunks.

Imagine birthing twelve different stones.

Having watched a single episode of Steven Universe, I am fully prepared for these exhibits.

A cursed jewel exhibited in a national museum? What could possibly go wrong!

Eating all six of these so that I can fight Perfect Chaos.

Dinosaur meat is so popular that they had to open a second branch.

If I owned a facsimile rhinoceros, I would also name it "Fake Horn".

"Henceforth, you will be Terrible Claw!" "What about me, boss?" "Quiet, other reptile."

Frankly, that must feel quite pleasant.

"Join me, David Attenborough, as I stare nonchalantly within a green-tinted chamber for as long as the BBC can preserve me."

Diplodocus time.

Someone ran a ping test on a Ferrari.

It rhymes in both languages.

Thomas is operating a reduced service.

Imagine entrusting a chimney to a goose.

Today I learned that this is a genuine company.

Through the efforts of Dixie et al., TNA is trending a mere four places behind The Archers.