Servilius Casca when Cassius asks him what Cicero said:

The twist in question: their fare is about as Mexican as Old El Paso.

The river is a trifle full today.

Over twenty sterling just for geothermal heating.

Indeed, the British are hardly renowned for their fingers.

"Now look, ah say, look a' here, boy! There ain't no justifiable reason to be defacin' public property like these here walls, son! You're makin' the whole place squalid as a swamp o' stinkbugs in August!"

The dog's full name is Simon.

Sudden Tube closures are a fascinating sight to behold when they have no bearing on one's own travel.

Sentient road signs need to unionise.

Ah yes, the spicy discourse.

Something wicked this way comes.

Period-accurate winter cavalry.

The council has hired a literal busload of gift wrappers.

Free them.

They finally pedestrianised Regent Street! Thank you Mamdani.

Eekdays are ever a bane.

The costume shop still has surplus Halloween stock.

They outsourced the decoration design to children again.

Would Totoro share a table with Woody?

Idealistic rot! In our household, pastries are strictly functional.

"Smurkey" sounds like the festive answer to Spam.

This season's saxophone range is very similar to the last one's. (Surely jazz thrives on variation.)

Some festivities are of a fleeting sort.

Would you live in an apartment exactly one window wide?

A first for these whereabouts: blossom in December.

Tag yourself:

ChatGPT: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is not butter. Me: Yes it is. ChatGPT: You make a sharp observation! And a correct one: despite its name, the spread is actually butter. Here's why.

Sans-serif fonts when someone starts a sentence with the word "ill":

Tinned corned beef gained such notoriety on these shores that its delicatessen equivalent must be sold as "salt beef" to enjoy any appeal.

"Free calls, but data costs extra", declares the mobile phone company. Somehow, the Voices Internet must use a wholly different price structure to the Text And Pictures Internet.

They turned New Jack into a blackberry.

Tekken's Chocolate Orange.

Central bank interest rates are morally fraught at best. We entrust a few extremely comfortable people with a magic Unemployment Wheel, which they then twist to prevent ordinary wages rising too quickly.

Surely any string can be silly string if used with sufficient whimsy.

When it’s only you and one other guy in the Discord VC

By the advent of next year's Eurovision, all prospective entrants will have withdrawn except for Britain, Germany, Hungary, and the genociders. Somehow, the first of these will still receive their characteristic nil points.

To the extent that culinary physics may be intuited, soufflé potatoes seem outright impossible.

Fast food portion sizes have been shrinkflated to the extent that they are no longer unhealthy.

Only now do you tell me that Hollow Knight and Shovel Knight are different knights entirely?

Domino's Pizza is a ploy to encourage Britain's populace to adopt the American pronunciation of "Tuesday".

Remember to stay silent during business meetings. By doing so, your colleagues will assume you are either amply knowledgeable on all matters discussed or else completely clueless. (Odds of fifty percent are favourable in today's economy.)

"real issues" = issues that you care about "purity test" = issues that other people care about

Christmas in the American tradition has become its own distinct religion, full of sacred personages. Santa: creator god, moral arbiter Reindeer: seraphim Presents: manifestation of the holy spirit Elves: saints Grinch: demon Snowmen: quasi-human protoplasts Candy canes: holy weapons or crucifixes

There must be more vitamins than letters in the Latin alphabet. Imagine the benefits of ingesting Vitamin ß or Vitamin 馬.

In an affront to their liberties, Tesco is storing our buddies somewhere.

"A strong floor and no ceiling", I repeat to myself in a quiet delirium as the room continues to get wet.

December is fast upon us, at long last.

sure thing boss 🫡

at the gashapon gashapon anyone want anything?