I'm unfamiliar with this "Seductive Sunday" trend and yet it seems to be the bulk of my feed today. Is this just a day for posting thirst traps?

Unfortunate – the Xatu on my balcony seems to have left. I have almost grown accustomed to his presence.

Would it be petty of me to say I am still upset over this?

I have begun challenging myself to do things I felt I shouldn't.

Happy Pokémon Day. To everyone with Partner Pokémon (and to their Pokémon themselves), whether they be pets, a team, or companions – enjoy yourselves.

Be wary of all men.

I trust I haven't missed anything of note during my absence?

𝑲𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏 𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒂 𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒏 ɪɴᴅɪɢᴏ ʟᴇᴀɢᴜᴇ ᴇʟɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴜʀ + ᴄʜɪᴇꜰ ᴏꜰ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ “𝘋𝘢𝘳𝘬-𝘵𝘺𝘱𝘦 𝘗𝘰𝘬é𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺’𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘮 𝘐.”

I'm not even sure about that last bit. I was present for the first wave of discussion around the consumption of soap – it astounds me how many people she seemed to successfully convert to the cause. It's admirable, too. Her apparent skill at persuasion is unimpeachable.

Your region's Poison Control Center is almost certainly understaffed and underfunded and you people want to increase the burden placed on it by eating bars of fucking soap? Are you insane?

There's better things to eat than soap... I know it looks and smells like candy but it doesn't taste like candy.

It really can't be understated that soap is...one minute, allow me to check my notes from med school. Fucking toxic and inedible.

Do not do this. This has been a PSA from Champion Lance.

I'm a doctor. Don't do this.

Despite what certain Trainer classes will have you believe, it is true that Gengar are among the only Pokémon to actively prey on humans. This does not mean any human moral value should be ascribed to the species and I will beat your ass if you mention exorcisms.

“ support women in stem. “

The reason I say "Bismillah" before I drink water is to ward off Hoopa. There are three djinn in it – two hydrojinn and one oxyjinn.

woohoo!

I admire the dedication of the Gengar that has followed me from Kanto, but I kindly ask that it not move my paperwork.

As absurd as it sounds, I truly cannot wait to get back to work.

We should bar transplants from saying anything about Unova.

Should I be worried so many malevolent forces follow me?

Always fantastic when your computer blue-screens after you update your graphics driver.

A Xatu has been standing on my balcony for 14 hours. There does not seem to be anything medically wrong with it, from a quick inspection, so I've just let it be.

Give me liberty, give me fire, give me championships in Unova's weakest division or I retire.

I'm certainly not as fastidious—or even as much of a believer anymore—as I was when I was younger. That being said, thank fucking Arceus that the Unovan Football League is haram. This provides me a fantastic excuse to disengage from the Pelipper fans in my life for a month.

I'm not sure what I would do if I came face-to-face with my duplicate. I admire those of you who have encountered doubles of yourselves.

Never trust an anesthesiologist.

If my feed is to be believed, Team Rocket has never won shit.

I can't take Team Rocket seriously when they're all dressed like someone's Unovan uncle.

What is it? 3 color-codes Executives and an army of grunts wielding rats, bats, and spiders? Sounds more like the cast list of a local production of The Rock-Type Horror Picture Show 👻

Being unproductive has left me restless.

I can't wake up any later than 05:00.

My travels have completely thrown my injection schedule out of whack. If I've been a little bitchy lately, I'm sorry.

I'm free for five days and all I can think about is how I'm going to clock in on the 23rd for a long and busy day of eating Pokéblocks.

lrt me while Absol sits on the couch next to me and shreds my sweatshirt but it means she's growing accustomed to my scent

Anything for the Pokémon anything for the Pokémon anything for the Pokémon anything for the Pokémon anything for the Pokémon.

I've gone days where all I have been able to eat are Pokéblocks. This, alone, has pushed me closer and closer to teaching.

Pokéblocks are so fucking hard to eat, Ash. Humans can, theoretically, eat them. But there is so fucking much.

I suspect we won't need them after three generations, but there are still rescued Pokémon indigenous to Hoenn that—aside from eating other Pokémon, of course—only eat Pokéblocks.

Most people do.

At Aether, we often have to eat Pokéblocks, Poké Puffs, and Poké Beans in front of our intakes to reassure them they aren't poisoned or have hidden sharp objects. I'm a fan of the citrus puffs.

I've finally returned home. Nobody ask me for shit, I'm going to sleep.

I got to see as much of Kanto and Johto as I could. I intend to return someday. A piece of my heart will always remain here. 🫶🏿 Enough farewells, I need to board my plane.

I've held off on this long enough. I'm going to buy a RageCandyBar and navigate to the airport.

It has been 2 years and I'm still listening to "Nasty".

I have another photoshoot scheduled for March with one of my favorite photographers. 🫶🏿✨