Assume something about me and I’ll tell you if it’s true or not.

If a situationship said to me "he tastes like you only sweeter" I would simply become celibate.

*To the tune of Yellow Submarine* We all know That you're jealous of my peen Jealous of my peen Jealous of my peen

If you see this - post an eye

If no one has told you today, nice ass 😉

This time change sucks dick with teeth and I do NOT care who knows it

What if my soulmate is looking hot and I say "sploosh" and they don't get the reference?

I just realized I originally requested this upcoming Thursday and Friday off so I would have extra time to reset after the clocks change tonight. But the board of directors had to approve the acquisition of another FI and blacked out those dates 😤😤😤

An Irishman saying the word "potatoes" is like cat nip for me

I am only maybe 50 quests deep into the Midnight campaign, but does anyone else think Turalyon is a sanctimonious douche? #midnight #wow #worldofwarcraft

Based on the skyline, I guess it's Wednesday 😏

if you think the greatest threat to effeminate gay boys is the trans movement and not the cis straight men who overwhelmingly exclude and brutalize them then you should walk into the ocean immediately

I hate needing to have a job as much as the next person with the boot of capitalism on their neck, but the effort put forward by some of the people I've worked with is baffling. Like, it takes more energy to be that ignorant of your job than it would to just know what the hell you're doing.

I have never, intentionally, washed my hands in the shower

One thing about me is I love a citrussy desert (lemon cookie, orange and cranberry scone, key like pie)

Name a song with a better kazoo solo than Colors by April Smith and the Great Picture Show, I'll wait

My motivation is in the cellar this afternoon. #SugarDaddyNeeded

Every Pokémon is someone's favourite

Face reveal. Wrong answers only.

Some off the fonts have changed in Duolingo and it is messing with my brain 😵‍💫

This is a CAT checkpoint. Show me the most recent cat image on your phone. (Better late than never)

If only Bluesky would allow media in DMs, I'd send my bloomfies the #fcf pic I took 🙈

I won't speak for anyone else, but I could use an afternoon nap

One sentence horror story:

- I am currently employed - My father (deceased) and I had a great relationship - Hahahahaha. No. - I have the ability, but not the desire. (Side) - I am a licensed driver

Me to my bloomfs as soon as we can DM pictures:

One thing about me is I enjoy an online fantasy quiz www.idrlabs.com/dungeons-dra...

Who is the Super Bowl Halftime performer? (Wrong answers only)

QRP with your favorite Water-type Pokemon (Water/ground, but it still counts.)

you’re not actually stretching until you vocalize it

Joy #art

No, it's fine. I'll just heat up my rice buddie and pretend it's you.

I'm grumpy. Can anyone make me less grumpy?

Eating hot, crispy mini hashbrowns dunked in cold ketchup is a true personal pleasure

I don't care if it makes me a basic bitch, but Beethoven's Sonata No. 14 in C# major quasi una fantasia is one of the best pieces of music ever.

While solving a word puzzle the other day, I realized that "silent" is an anagram of "listen"

What's your birthday Pokemon?

Anyone else getting a lot of foreign language videos on TikTok? Like western Asia and northern Africa. Just seems weird to me.

Show your lock screen

If the government executing us in the streets isn’t your red line, then you’ve already decided to endorse it. There’s no gray area left. No ambiguity.

Copy and paste the bunny and then put something else in his hand. (\_/) (°-°) />💐>

Make a band tasty: Butterscotch Blondie

Happy #fursday

I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with these birds y'all are hitting with these stones.

There is a universe where everything is exactly the same except analog clocks turn the opposite way. #multiversetheory #inanotheruniverse

A man? Filling my physical and emotional needs? It's less likely than you'd think.

I don't want to. Anyone else not want to with me?

A winter wander

Because I mentioned it in a reply earlier, I thought I should reintroduce this pop classic to y'all.