Am I about to eat a whole pizza by myself? Yup.

If this gets at least one like, I get to play Bloodborne for hours instead of doing the dishes.

I just struggled to swallow a pill and Alec watched me the whole time with a smile on his face. Once I managed to down it he goes, "Grown man, by the way." 😒

Got home from work, ate some pizza, played an AGDQ vod in the background, and then started doing the dishes at midnight while the boyfriend peacefully sleeps. Alec, when you see this in the morning, if you make yourself a sandwich and I'm dead asleep, make me one too 🙃.

He's the GOAT this. She's the GOAT that. All I'm saying is that all your GOATS better start running the second the chupacabra makes its comeback.

I see a 2026 release date and my brain is still going "Damn, I gotta wait a whole year?"

I have started playing Bloodborne for the first time. Having fun dying repeatedly.

Isn't it about time they release a new Skarsgård?

I have tomorrow off so now we have time for cult activities! Cult! Cult! Cult! Chant with me!

Do you ever have random Disney movie plotlines from the early 2000s come to mind but they feel like a fever dream and you don't even remember the title? I have a vague recollection about a movie of an American kid who is slowly turning into leprechaun but I can't remember any other details.

Gay culture is a gay guy posting "Look at this new [inconsequential item] I got!" with a picture where the item is out of focus and the guy is in nothing but a jockstrap.

I befriended all the Mexican ladies who work here and no one in this diner bothers speaking to us in English anymore and it's so funny. They even ask Alec questions in Spanish now lol.

Happy New Year from Alec and me! I've enjoyed the little community we've built on here and I hope I get to know more of you in this coming year. Wishing you all the best.

Old Man Time is dying. Tonight, for a split second, we have the opportunity to free ourselves from this cycle. I will journey to kill Baby New Year the moment he is born. If, come midnight, you don't feel the chains of time fall from your weary soul, know that I have failed.

Some guy invited me to go ice fishing with him and I was like bro, I don't even want to go ice walking. I don't even want to go ice looking. I don't even want to go on existing near any ice. You're inviting the wrong person, my guy.

I'm so good at starting new things, not finishing them, and

I never had much expectations from life. I just want to befriend some crows and seagulls and stare at our ennemies with them. And yet, life keep disappointing me.

Just another day comprehending incomprehensible terrors.

We did it! We beat Absolum. Great game if you enjoy roguelikes and beat-em ups. Alec and I played through it in couch co-op and it was fun. The art is beautiful and there was a story there somewhere but all we did was mash A so we could go back to punching faster so... yeah, it was probably good.

Escape room idea: You walk into a dark room. They close the door behind you. Silence. You stand there for what feels like ages. Suddenly, hands reach for you and pull you, you're now being birthed. You're a baby and you're thrust into your new mom's arms. You're now in Oklahoma. You must escape.

I had a dream I was an assistant to AOC while the city was being attack by some giant insects I had accidentally unleashed after a witch cursed them because I helped her clean up a festival. In the dream, AOC had a meeting with a lady named Mumu Skazeem. Mumu Skazeem felt important to the timeline.

Whenever I send Alec my half of the rent, I write messages like: "Don't kick me out." "Don't make me live under a bridge." If anyone ever went through the messages they would make it sound like he's constantly on the verge of packing my bags lol.

Alec and I spent Christmas being couch potatoes. We played video games all day while eating nothing but donuts and chips. It is one of my all time favorite Christmas memories now. I will forever dearly hold the day we turned into amorphous blobs together.

Bananas in Pajamas tell the classic story of divine punishment, the fall from grace, exile. The bananas, divine beings, are exiled from Upstairs, a holy land, if you will, and must travel down the stairs to the place where they must be forced to walk among the unwashed, unpajama'd. In this essay...

Alec made malassadas! I am so spoiled.

I'm putting a crew together to rob Santa. We're splitting the loot equally. You in or are you one of the squares on his Nice list?

I haven't done the dishes. Alec is going to leave me. My only value to him is my dishwashing. Well, that and the way I [redacted].

Robyn should release a Christmas song that makes me feel like Santa just broke up with me and I'm choosing to work through this holiday heartbreak on the dance floor.

Taking my vitamins so I can live longer 😒

My mom tells me that the world is hard on beautiful things and that's why I've suffered so much. Every time she tells me that I'm like, "Well, damn, lady, I'll happily be uglier for some peace around here."

Testing out a new light. There's a nice white wall in this apartment right next to the bed that will be nice for some shots. Maybe something more elaborate with Alec. Haven't taken pictures in a while but this light might make me bust out the camera.

Some lady named Angelica must've typed in my number instead of hers when asking for some kind of insurance quote and now my phone has been getting texts and calls from insurance companies all morning. Angelica, if I ever see you out on these streets, I'm gonna throw my phone at you.

This is so funny and so real. Actual terrible thing is happening? I got this. Locked in. Let's survive. It's the normal days that get me spinning.

I asked Alec if I were hypothetically in a coma after some freak accident if he'd ask to be put in a medically induced coma with me so that we could hang out in our dreams, and he said no, which basically means he wants me to go back to New Mexico, I guess.

Piper was really just hanging on by a thread, trying to make it through the day of dealing with her teleporting time-traveling babies, deadbeat angel husband, and having Alyssa Milano for a sister. That poor woman.

Love me a 3am spiral two nights in a row.

winter wonderland asmr: crackling ice, the quiet patter of landing snowflakes, and Lucas meeting icy pavement two blocks over ❄️🧣

If you hear an "Oh shit! Oh fuck!" echoing in the distance, that was me slipping on ice.

Fell asleep on the couch with a whole box of chocolates on my chest like I was some kind of Christmas movie grandpa or the sad girl in the city who is about to go home for the holidays.

Alec and I just had to dramatically run toward each other across snowfallen streets. I saw him in the distance doing the Darcy walk across the plains to meet me and kiss me. It was so romantic. Was it because I accidentally took his keys instead of mine and he had to drive to work? Sure but shhh.

Footage of Alec and Lucas in the morning.

Just saw a car driving full speed down the road and started sliding. How people are driving with no fear in this snow is beyond me.

It sounds like a death scream by all the little coffee beans being ground down and given voice by the metal sacrifice machine. It's so loud. It's so shrill. It's at 5am.

Today my friend Sarah threw me in her car and drove me to a nice neighborhood where all the white people were gathering in a long line out of a basement of a nondescript house. There was a chocolate operation down there, and people were buying a crazy amount of chocolate. Not convinced it was legal.

My boyfriend is putting on his layers and grabbing his spear to go and hunt caribou in the snow for us to have breakfast this morning. And I will stay home and gather the energy to get out of bed.

Starting a shop called Orchard. I will only sell sex toys for orcs.

Some asshole nearly hit me with his car as I was crossing the street. All I could think about in the moment was, "No, please, I'm so close to home where it's warm. I don't wanna be laid out flat on this cold road. This can't be the weather in which I die."

So the boy who spent his entire life in the desert dies today, got it.

I'm no coffee drinker but if this cold keeps coming for my bones like this, I just might turn into an addict.