Hope the guy with ‘cum dump’ tattooed above his knees that rode me like a horse is doing well ❤️

Glad I’m in my rage era because men really think they can just talk to me any sort of way, huh?

FINDING OUT MY BEST FRIEND FISTED MY HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH?!

You know Beyoncé hasn’t had a “The Gift” or The Carters moment in awhile and we get some of her best work from mothers side projects, so I know this B-Day rerelease is gonna go crazy

Three weeks until I pick up my life and move to a whole other state! 🥰

Need to get a ghost writer to shit post for me when i have nothing to say

Drunk and needing gay boys

Guys will be like “boyfriend material” and it’s really low viscosity rayon with a half-loop topstitch stitch on the hem 🙄

Btw libertarian is the dumbest fucking political stance in existence. You’re literally just saying you’re complicit in bad things happening to anyone but you, because you can’t be bothered to move from your comfort. NIMBY ass white privilege political take.

Dad has officially renounced being a SF Giants fan after 50 years because the owner is a homophobe and the players got all fascist when the giants had a pride game, and THATS on being a father

Being hot is still really new to me, so you guys will have to forgive me if I’m still a little clumsy 🥺

New Madonna album out, anti-trans and lgbtq legislation, war in the middle east, and B-day rumors? Welcome back 2003 😍

So if she released DONK on the 4th, does this mean Act III is coming on election day 👀

Found where all you little gay boys hang out

Now get ready for the whore before the holiday (me)

Hands, hands everywhere

Would say burn this country down, but really it’s land back, reparations now, impeach and convict.

Too tired to jerk off. Can someone do it for me and then cuddle me into a nap 😣😮‍💨😴

- Jenny Gump

I just want to say that I know this person has no bitches. They don’t have fun. They think coffee is an extreme drug. They only love people for who they could be, never who they are. They will die alone, and they will never know joy! Xoxo

I need a dance floor full of half naked men dancing to Confessions II as I work through kissing them in a 2000s-esque queer as folk style montage

Wake up diva! Another $20 transaction today!

Happy #fcf

Me-core

I never had a twink era. I went straight from lesbian librarian to sex freak 😌

Went to the gas station, the place where they sell gas. You’ll never guess what they were out of! (it was gas)

Straight people will act like piss play is some extreme taboo, meanwhile they’re making hamburger helper for a man who cant microwave dino nuggets before they have ten minutes of missionary and fall asleep

Remember when I was driving my car with no plates and I told the officer that I thought I had a 60 day grace period to register my car after purchase and he let me off without a warning? I ❤️ lying

Hate that we live in a culture centered around growth. Maybe instead of personal growth we need to accept change and the ebb and flow of our own natural resources. We can’t always build because sometimes a project is done or the foundation is unstable. Growth is not always possible!

Please welcome to the stage, Sue E. Sidel

We need to bring back the catholic ideology that a little gay boy should paint nude men on the ceilings of important public places

If the 107 degree heat doesn’t do it, please let this be it. Inshallah

So do you guys think you can brown cum like you brown butter?

And I got a ticket on the way home because I got lost and the 40 went down to a 25 with a speeding camera so 🫠

Nvm, we sat on his bed as he talked for two hours 🙄

Flirting with a guy for months and plans cancelled as he shot his shot and told me to come get fucked so he can take me out for drinks with his load inside me, so I guess I have plans tonight!

“It’s July, so I’m straight!” About as straight as your back when you arch it for me gay boy

Papa complex responds:

Planning two fake surprise parties in the span of a month is hilarious and very on brand for me tbh

Happy gay wrath month to the queers suffering the seven skircles of hell 🥰

Fucking crushed three LinkedIn games today. Now every recruiter will know I’m the smartest unemployed person alive 😌

Time for shower and bedtime 😴 goodnight gay people in my phone

Men who think that they can top me by being mean to me will be put down on sight

Honestly think this year is gonna be my 2000s grunge movie

Pride month is over which means at this point I’m just doin it for the love of the game 😌

Love having a neck tattoo. Not a single person sat next to me at the dmv 🥰

People who don’t follow me posting skircles without me is so sad… for them 😌

Im never wearing a turtle neck again (on account of the climate change)

As a queer from rural America, I know how queer feels like acid in the mouth. The want to be accepted and left alone is normal. To disappear and to be queer are at odds. But if you’re not queer, then you’re dead because they don’t care about gay vs queer, they care about the dirty homo being gone.