i still stan president xi on this app too btw

my newest creation

i love my boyfriend

who are ur fave accounts on here. i need Content

poast

greetings loved ones

hello butterfly world may i be a butterfly too? please i would like to gaze upon the world without knowing of its horror

FINALLY

getting an instagram notif and then seeing that it’s just “____ and ____ want to follow you on threads” don’t pmo

the posts here remind me a little Too much of 2018 twitter (derogatory).. lot of unnecessary dialogue, bad puns, millennial humor. i think i’m too young to be here

a thanksgiving dinner should be kings hawaiian rolls, red lobster cheddar bay biscuits, bob evans biscuits, olive garden breadsticks, and texas roadhouse cinnamon butter rolls. nothing more nothing less

cued up the entirety of Brat on this irish pub’s touch tunes system and all the old people here are stroking out one by one

FOUND IT. only took six fucking ancient cities

oh sure

Got so worked up thinking about dachshunds I didn't notice I was driving 150mph through a cornfield

SZA ON NEW KENDRICK? i’m taking the rest of the day off work

my boyfriend, mumbling to himself upon seeing a duck on a roof: “…you’re not a real bird.”

i met my partner in 2023 but i’ve loved him my whole life. i always knew it was him. he was with me the whole time, quietly, invisibly, waiting for the right time to find me

i poast for the love of the game

trying to find the Silence armor trim in minecraft

i think chihuahuas would be more likable if they were called chihuahuahueehuas

bluesky shitposter starter pack that’s just me and my 99 alternate accounts

bf saw me watching a tiktok of a guy doing a cool yoyo trick and said “babe i’m not comfortable with you watching this kind of content”

when someone doesn’t understand the reference underlying the joke i’m about to make

my psychiatrist said basically this exact shit yesterday (he drives a tesla) and i just sat there and kept my mouth shut and asked for more drugs please

-keegan michael key voice- LaQuack Bachondriac. Louisiana State University

and when there was only one set of footprints in the sand, that is when jackmerius tacktheratrix carried u

oh you heard that “straight from the horse’s mouth”? nice try. i know horses can’t talk . i think

new social media where we only talk about reptiles and nothing else. call that a gecko chamber

Shoot for the moon. If you miss, here's a gentle reminder that the moon's diameter is 3,475km and you could not have fucked this up more

one like equals one tax dollar

bad news bro the patch notes came in and they’re nerfing ur dick and balls

recent works

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So there’s another fuckin thing I gotta deal with

absolutely flawless loaf form. 10/10 stunning no notes

running for president and my entire platform is just making podcasts illegal

is a branch that is still attached to a tree a stick or does it only become a stick once it detaches from tree

[commercial for stones] are you tired of killing 2 birds with your bare fuckin hands

even tho no one is here yet and i kind of feel like i am shouting my shitposts into an empty cave it’s still better than Elon Musk’s Digital Nazi Bootcamp

women are better than men

relationships are about balance. i sit downstairs and collage and watch suits and my boyfriend sits upstairs and mashes the A button in Arma for 45 minutes in an attempt to get drafted into digital war

More ramen pictures.

most of my twitter mutuals have not followed me here so i am now going to create new mutuals. who wants to be friends we can bond over being freed from elon’s torment

consider making yourself or obtaining a grilled cheese sandwich today all grilled cheeses are equally pleasing before god's sight, they are the angels of small joy

bad news dude, they're on the Fighter Select screen selecting and deselecting you over and over to make fun of your voice line. they're saying the little pose you do when selected is wack. they're rotating you

i am never playing anything but webfishing ever again in my whole life

dumbest social media trend is the blue bracelet thing - finding ways to signal to others that you’re an ally. i’ll be signaling that i’m not MAGA the same why i always have: by dressing well