But doctor, I -am- the blowjob factory

This is my religion now

Carl and Harriet let their youngest daughter walk upstairs and she never came back and they never spoke of her again.

"Feels like a Tubi night."

My dog, looking good.

Pope Leo:

I was not prepared for my favourite team's broad success creating this kind of thing. youtu.be/hD2XWs93ht4?...

"I bet the 'boards' is spelled 'b-o-r-e-d-s'."

I would never stop walking up to women and saying "Great rack"

Since Milli Vanilli is in the news, I feel the need to share a video of Fab Morvan performing their old songs. He learned to sing, and after Rob died he started doing the MV tunes. It's one of a few things i put on when i feel blue and it always cheers me up. youtu.be/3UDpQ0eS-vE?...

It's like these apes don't even wanna live forever

Maybe having a society was a mistake. pix11.com/news/local-n...

got some ballerinas drunk in my garage bar today so the plan of eighties comedy summer is working out.

A good rule of thumb is if Nicki Minaj is performing for them, they're a kleptocrat. That's been her thing for about a decade now.

What the people actually want is Gay Hooters

Took my dog drinking

Dobes gets that call if he's a veteran or North American.

Gallagher II

As I clean my house for my annual Eurovision party today, I prepare for our usual debate of who Canada should send if invited. I've always said Love Inc. but one of my party guests is insisting on Drake and I think he's convincing me.

It's funny how it used to be that white country artists tried to go hip hop and now it's white hip hop that's always trying to go country. youtu.be/0NR8no4Fp5Y?...

Couldn't have been anyone else @hotterdad.bsky.social

Setting up my browser to remember all my

I’m considering taking on a famous imaginary friend like Christian Slater in True Romance does with Elvis Presley. So far the leader is all of Sleater-Kinney

I love my pets but I wish they would do their canoodling anywhere but sitting on me in my bed

It's funny that Wayne Knight voices Penguin on Harley Quinn because Batman is literally a Wayne Knight.

There's only room for one cinematic blockbuster named Michael in my life

We are going to look back one day about how one Supreme Court member refusing to retire set off a chain of wild historical events, in an indirect and (impractically) overly complicated way. I call it the Rube Bader Goldberg theory.

Five years ago I was in Serbia and i ordered spaghetti

Check out this photo of my dog charming my friend

And the city's art gallery down the street is called the VAG

Directed by Brett Ratner

Someone put a dart in my Elvis bust after I had people over to my garage bar on Saturday. I just noticed. My planned "80s sex comedy summer" is already underway.

I once met a girl who had a "If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster" tattoo.

If Shorsey has taught me anything, it’s that this exchange was entirely on purpose. cc @edsbs.bsky.social

I do appreciate that the Sabres always play O Canada even if it's just American teams.

Me hungover at brunch

These two just teamed up to murder a bird

"Then I jumped through the window with my dick in my hand" - MC Ren "Behind the Scenes"