Jim Tews
@jimtews.com
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📥 331
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Tastemaker and influencer in the dumb dumb space.
reposted by
Jim Tews
Liz Miele
16 days ago
Next First Draft Feeling premieres Wednesday on YouTube Dec 10th @ 8pm ET. Come join me and two of my favs
@carmenlagala.bsky.social
&
@jimtews.com
work on new jokes about weight loss, medical procedures, roommates, being 40 & car vandalism
YouTube.com/lizmiele
to watch
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Once you see it.
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about 2 months ago
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They call it "Wonder" cause it moves into your neighborhood and you wonder where all your favorite local spots went.
about 2 months ago
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If Zohran becomes mayor of NYC I will move. To the kitchen. Where I keep the celebratory champagne.
about 2 months ago
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I like how we've started treating NYC mayoral candidates like romantic interests on Seinfeld. ELAINE: He ate a burrito with a knife and fork! JERRY: So? ELAINE: On the subway, Jerry! JERRY: Oh no.
2 months ago
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Dr. Teeth, Janice, and Animal live from the Tompkins Square Dog Parade
2 months ago
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The look this fall in Bushwick: “I hiked through the woods to see Turnstile.”
2 months ago
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Generations of Americans romanticize cars because they associate it with the first time they had sex. If it were easier to have sex in a bike or on a bus, we’d have better urban infrastructure.
2 months ago
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Froze my credit this morning. Can't wait to thaw it in twenty years and teach it all about the strange new world its living in.
2 months ago
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I need the YouTube algorithm to understand that an interest in skateboarding does not equal, or lead to, an interest in in-line skating. If the algorithm was alive in the 90's it would know that.
2 months ago
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This administration's "look what you made me do" approach to leadership is weak, dawg. Imagine taking your daddy issues out on entire population.
2 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
Patton Oswalt
2 months ago
đź’Żđź’Żđź’Żđź’Żđź’Żđź’Ż
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Financial gurus: I have about 73 cents left over at the end of every month and I'd like to invest. I'm 44 and would like to retire by 125. I'm willing to take some risks, but prefer long, steady growth. Thoughts?
3 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
Dan Wilbur
3 months ago
An animated joke about my favorite video game, NBA Jam! Animated by
@jimtews.com
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reposted by
Jim Tews
Matt Nedostup
3 months ago
Comedian destroys heckler
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I've been doing some editing work for Sesame Street this month so between catching news bytes about the fabric of our country disintegrating, I get to watch Sesame Street.
3 months ago
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People will say its hard to survive a career in the arts because of unpredictability, but it's actually pretty consistent. I've made the same amount of money every year for the past decade.
3 months ago
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We're going to get Nazi Germany without the whole Weimar era arts and culture stuff. No experimental theatre and crazy films. No design movements. Just a homogenous Netflix series and fever dream TikToks of Will Smith eating spaghetti and then authoritarianism.
3 months ago
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I hold my own general strike for about twenty minutes every morning before the coffee kicks in.
3 months ago
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Modern medicine is a load of hooey. I prefer tried and true remedies handed down from the village healer, right before they died of a mystery illness at 38.
3 months ago
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A career in the arts is a marathon, not a sprint. And a lot of people shit themselves during marathons so don't feel weird about doing that.
3 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
RiotGrlErin
3 months ago
celebrities out walking the characters they’ve played instead of their dogs: thread
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Why do I keep obsessing over which new action camera to buy when I mostly just climb stairs and roll around the skatepark once a week, barely leaving the ground? Where is this action I supposedly need captured by a specific camera?
3 months ago
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People wanting to pin a binary political affiliation to premeditated shooters, (who are usually young white dudes) are completely oblivious to the extremely online, antisocial, political nihilist types they more likely are --
3 months ago
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Hey, if you don't like it, vote with your dollar. And the more dollars you have, the more votes you get oh damn I see the problem now.
3 months ago
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Just going through the Bible again as I do every Sunday and I FINALLY found the part where Jesus goes to college campuses and argues with the woke lepers. I guess I was wrong about CK.
3 months ago
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Whenever I schedule a meeting I try to schedule it for 2p on a Tuesday because then when someone’s like “When am I meeting with Jim Tews? Oh right, 2 on Tuesday… wow. Thoughtful guy.”
3 months ago
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The crybabies are in charge.
3 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
Tim Onion
3 months ago
Becoming increasingly clear we’re gonna have to build a parallel infrastructure for all the media we really love. The reason all of this is happening under the color of law is hyperconsolidation, dissent being traded straight up for merger approval, or fear of harassment.
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Jokes on you, oppressive administration. Soon we'll be able to say whatever we want because you can't fire us from jobs we don't have.
3 months ago
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Airplanes on the tarmac always have a playlist of songs you’ve never heard before and never will again.
3 months ago
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Sorry haven’t been posting here much, I’ve been busy keeping a food journal.
4 months ago
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Disrupting the newsletter industry by publishing every seven weeks on a Thursday.
4 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
ceej
4 months ago
my father-in-law is a “I know a guy” Guy. sadly all the old Guys are aging out of the Guy Economy. Guys are fundamentally incompatible with Hustle Culture because it’s not about “winning” a deal, it’s about collecting favors and goodwill in a mutually-beneficial cycle. protect your local Guy Economy
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Got a promoted post on LinkedIn encouraging me to join ICE. I know I fit the profile, but just because I’m a forty-something, unemployed, white male veteran, doesn’t mean I’m a white supremacist crybaby with a violence boner.
4 months ago
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Forgot to put deodorant on my left pit this morning. Please approach from my starboard side.
4 months ago
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Recession Indicator: my eye twitch is back.
4 months ago
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So this is just life, huh? Watching pants go from baggy to skinny and back again every ten years until they put you in the dirt.
4 months ago
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reposted by
Jim Tews
Kim Kelly
4 months ago
things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room and you only went in there sometimes
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Woke Cracker Barrel took my pappy off the logo? Guess I'll see you every Sunday after church at the Ponderosa.
4 months ago
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“Radioactive Shrimp” was the follow up single to The Beets “Killer Tofu”
4 months ago
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Watched this whole f’in Billy Joel doc and still don’t know what a “real estate novelist” is.
4 months ago
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It’s so hard to ruin a dumb person’s good time.
4 months ago
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My wife is Gen X and I’m a millennial so she’s all like “We can’t sell out!” and I’m all “but how else are we gonna afford avocado toast?”
5 months ago
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Corporations fear nothing, people act selfish, and politicians do whatever they want because Andy Rooney is no longer here to hold anyone accountable.
5 months ago
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I think their trouble started long ago, when my mom wouldn't let me get my ear pierced in '95
add a skeleton here at some point
5 months ago
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Reviewing my spending habits and the haters were right: If I'd just skipped my weekly cold brew and breakfast sammy the entire year, I would've had enough to invest in a HYSA which would've netted me enough (principle + interest) to pay half of one month's rent in 2025. 🤷‍♂️
5 months ago
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CNBC "Make It" episode, but it's about how my wife and I were finally able to buy ourselves poke bowls after a four hour stoop sale.
5 months ago
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Trader Joe's was out of the candied orange slices we like. Thought it might be tariffs, but turns out Joe picked up a shipment of Frozen Kimbap in Korea, then headed to Thailand for some Peanut Satay Thai Noodles. They hit some weather in the South China Sea and no one's heard from the crew since.
5 months ago
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Just upgraded to the iPhone 16 Pro. Still feeling empty inside.
5 months ago
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