San Francisco & Sacramento this week!!! • PERFORMING FOR THE TROOPS - this story/joke is from 2016. Different unnecessary Middle Eastern war. I have a new hour I’m performing live. Come see me perform it on tour!!!! Check my site for details lizmiele.com

I just don’t understand why when nature waters my plants it’s fine but when I do it “I’m being too much”

Philly and Hoboken this weekend!!! • SHARK ATTACK VIDEOS - it’s important to watch the right YouTube videos for your life experience. This is from my special The Ghost of Academic Future on YouTube 😬 I have a new hour I’m performing live. Come see me perform it on tour!!!! Check my site for details

Philly June 26-27 and Hoboken June 28 • I WAS IN THERAPY TOO LONE - therapy is a helpful tool til you pull away from all of society and now have to become Buddha on the mountain top by yourself. My advice only get moderately healthy :) I have a new hour. Come see me on tour! Check my site 4 details

Los Angeles tomorrow @ Flappers • Miami & Tampa next week! Come see my new hour & learn from my skincare mistakes. Ladies…take your make up off at night! I all info & tix at lizmiele.com

Headlining in Los Angeles @ Flappers Comedy Club Thursday next week! Come see my new hour. I’ll try to drive there safely but I’m the only one trying. Lizmiele dot com

LA next Thursday May 28th • DENTISTS ARE A SCAM - it’s how I feel and can’t have cavities if you don’t know about them! Come see my new hour: lizmiele.com

Gas is so high that when you miss your exit it’s now also financially devastating

In two and half weeks I headline LA at Flappers - come see my new hour. lizmiele.com for tickets

Privilege is a spectrum. I’m grateful for all my free sandwiches. Still adding summer & fall dates. Check my site for all info lizmiele.com

waiting room at the vet: Receptionist to two women: Mocha’s a boy Women: what? A boy! Me: thank you for inviting me to your gender reveal

Oh I live in a house now and I was wildly unprepared for all its requirements. But you can see me avoid responsibility while I’m on tour! Say more, Liz! I’M ON TOUR! New hour. Lots of jokes & stories! Come seeeeee me. •• Note: Sunnyvale just moved to Jan 14-17 of 2027 sorry. Had a conflict.

Ep. 6 of First Draft Feelings will premiere tomorrow 8pm ET/5pm PT at YouTube.com/lizmiele • watch me, Matt Kirshen & Lisa Curry try out new jokes & get helpful & not helpful feedback! (Next live show is July 2nd in Brooklyn)

DC and OH this weekend! This joke is from my 2nd album Mind Over Melee. I talk a lot about anxiety, meltdowns and the mental illness that runs in my family • Come see my new hour live! Lots of new tour dates added. Info at lizmiele dot com.

LA! Tomorrow First Draft Feelings show with @olympianlisacurry & @matt_kirshen + two weeks on tour in DC, OH & SC and I’ve added so many more dates for spring & summer. All info & tix at lizmiele dot com

SUNDAY! Another First Draft Feelings show in LA at Bar Lubitsch with Lisa Curry & Matt Kirshen • tix at lizmiele.com •• last week featured John Hastings and Amy Miller who were amazing! With notes from my hilarious sister, Emily Miele • Full ep on YouTube.com/lizmiele

Seattle: Due to snow all flights have been cancelled. I even tried renting a car but I-90 is closed. I’m really sad to have to reschedule. If you bought tickets youll get an email from the venue & we will reach out again when we have a new date. Thanks for the support.

You know your store is good if I walk in and go “oh no”

Added some more cities! Come see a whole new hour. lizmiele.com

Eugene, Spokane & Seattle all next week!!!! Come to a show. Don’t bring up Math. It’s hurt me and I don’t do it anymore. I own a phone it does it for me. Come see my new hour live! new tour dates added. Info at lizmiele dot com.

This Sunday in LA First Draft feelings show at 8:30pm @ bar Lubitsch • tix at lizmiele.com • this clip is about how awful new cars are and the mom’s that clearly invented them. This is from last show with Jourdain Fisher & Mia Wilson - full show on YouTube

This Sunday I bring my monthly show First Draft Feelings to LA Bar Lubitsch with John Hastings & Amy Miller then I’m back on tour: Charlotte, Eugene, Spokane, Seattle, DC and more! All info & tix at lizmiele.com

Ep 4 of First Draft Feelings premieres tomorrow 5pm PT/8pm ET tomorrow at YouTube.com/lizmiele • let’s watch it together. This months episode features Jourdain Fisher & Mia Wilson

Portland! This weekend! Spend Valentine’s weekend with me! Bring the ppl you love or the ppl you hate! lizmiele.com for tickets

Ep 3 of my series: Biggest Balls in Brooklyn •• My very new boyfriend at the time got a vasectomy and it went terribly wrong. He ended up with scrotal hematoma. But we didn’t know what was going on at first. I wrote a joke about it which is on my special, SPACE CAMP on youtube.

Heated Rivalry fans…May I recommend 1992’s The Cutting Edge. Enemy rom com on skates. It holds up with not too much bad 90s aftertaste (subtle references to figure skating being gay but not offensive. Mostly outfit bashing haha)

Me, my cats and Evan are moving to Los Angeles today. The best time to move to LA was 15 years ago. I don’t think the second best time is now, but here we go. 💫

Ep 2 of my new series: Biggest Balls in Brooklyn •• Early into dating my boyfriend got a vasectomy and it went terribly wrong. He ended up with scrotal hematoma. I learned a lot about him while taking care of him and wrote a joke about it which is on my special, SPACE CAMP on youtube.

Ep 3 of First Draft Feelings is out! I talk about my fear of my bf murdering me & Adrienne Iapalucci swoops in w some important points about family. Plus my siblings Sam & Emily join this episode to give their ideas. Watch full ep at YouTube.com/lizmiele + subscribe wherever u listen to podcasts

The New York Times: Trump is on a distructive path causing global harm. Buzzfeed: Is being American cringe?

Nov of ‘23 my boyfriend of only two months decided to get a vasectomy (on his own accord) and it went terribly wrong and he developed scrotal hematoma. It was a confusing, scary and wild experience with a man i didn’t know well at the time.I wrote a story about it in my special SPACE CAMP on youtube

This Sunday! Last live First Draft Feelings before I and the show move to the west coast. Come see us! lizmiele.com

Tonight @ 8pm ET see the newest First Draft feelings here: youtu.be/Wzx_4bXKgFo?... with @noredavis.bsky.social & Adrienne Iapalucci

Next First draft Feelings show premieres on youtube Wednesday Jan 14th @ 8pm ET with Adrienne Iapalucci and @noredavis.bsky.social - if you missed the first two you can watch at youtube.com/lizmiele or wherever you listen to podcasts (and next live show is this Sunday @ 7pm @ Flophouse Comedy Club

Got a Lunchbox patch from @lizmiele.bsky.social after listening to her Space Camp special and thinking about her cats a Completely Normal™️ amount. Did not expect it to come in the world's cutest card. I need to take notes. Twenny outta ten, go check her stuff out. youtu.be/x53-2hTks2w

TONIGHT! 8pm ET see me on FOX’s new show Best Medicine with Josh Charles & Annie Potts.

This Sunday in Brooklyn @ Flophouse with Adrienne Iapalucci & Nore Davis. Tickets @ lizmiele.com

End Dec 21st. lizmiele.com

HOW WOMEN HANDLE DRY SPELLS is from my new special SPACE CAMP now on youtube • I didn’t date for 3 years. It was great. Highly recommend but when you get back into it you might need to dust things off first.

100k!! Thank you so so much to everyone who watched my special on Punchup & YouTube! please share with friends. touring starts again Dec 31st & I started a new live show & podcast • ep 2 premieres tomorrow at 8pm on YouTube & next live show is Dec 21 in Brooklyn. lizmiele.com

Next First Draft Feeling premieres Wednesday on YouTube Dec 10th @ 8pm ET. Come join me and two of my favs @carmenlagala.bsky.social & @jimtews.com work on new jokes about weight loss, medical procedures, roommates, being 40 & car vandalism YouTube.com/lizmiele to watch

Next live First Draft Feelings show in Dec 21st @ Flophouse with @noredavis.bsky.social & Adrienne Iapalucci two of my favs. Tickets at lizmiele.com

SPACE CAMP is now on YouTube • How Vasectomies Work (I think) • I’ve learned so much when my boyfriend got a vasectomy very early into our relationship. I don’t know science but I also don’t think I’m wrong on this one. Anyway…enjoy the special and come see my next hour live! YouTube.com/lizmiele

Tonight! We have a great show with Jim Tews & Carmen Lagala • two of my favorite comics & ppl! Watch us try out new jokes & try to fix them. www.eventbrite.com/e/first-draf...

I got an MRI on my knee and the doctor told me I have the cartilage of a 15 year old. Girl, stop flirting right now. I have a new pep in my step. Maybe it's the steroid shot. Maybe it's my youthful knees.

Sunday 7pm @ Flophouse in brooklyn • See me Carmen Lagala & Jim Tews work on new jokes & workshop them live in my new monthly show & podcast First Draft Feelings •• Last show was Shafi Hossain & Josh Gondelman who killed it. Come see us this Sunday. Tix at lizmiele.com

Tuesday, 8pm ET Space Camp special premieres on YouTube: youtu.be/x53-2hTks2w?...

HOW TO BEAT THE AIRLINES (first half) - from my new special SPACE CAMP premieres on YouTube Nov 18th or out now on @punchuplive • it’s ad free, uncensored and pay what you want • I am a customer service person’s worst nightmare. I love to use my negotiation book knowledge. Full joke in special

So happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching!!

Episode 1 of First Draft Feelings premieres 8pm ET featuring the nicest & funniest guys in comedy Shafi Hossain and Josh Gondelman Come watch and chat with me @ youtu.be/_n_GK2HJ-YM?...